(Closed) Do You Snoop?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Please pick as many #1-4 that apply AND Pick one from #5 -7!
    I have read their e-mail account : (58 votes)
    18 %
    I have checked their internet history : (55 votes)
    17 %
    I have listened to their voicemails : (12 votes)
    4 %
    I have looked at their text messages : (58 votes)
    18 %
    I feel guilty about snooping! : (43 votes)
    13 %
    No shame - I don't feel guilty at all! : (34 votes)
    11 %
    I don't snoop! : (59 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    2154 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I don’t think snooping is a good idea. It’s not even the snooping that’s the issue – People should trust each other.

    Post # 33
    Member
    119 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I’ve checked my DH’s email before. Not because I suspected anything, I just thought it would be a good idea to ‘check in’ every once in a while and make sure nothing’s going on. I can’t explain it, I totally trust him, I just know that people are flawed and girls sometimes go crazy over married men, so I just wanted to double check.

    Post # 34
    Member
    1057 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    TRUE LIFE: I’m an obsessive snooper. 

    And I have a damn good reason that we won’t get into because what’s in the past is in the past. I only look at texts because I don’t have his passwords to anything else and he refuses to cough them up. If I had his passwords I’d be checking everything daily.

    And no, after what he put me through I don’t feel bad at all. I feel that it’s my right. 

    Post # 35
    Member
    2561 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    No snooping here, we do not share passwords, or phone pass-codes (we both pass-code our phones for security). If I ever found out he snooped on me I would be furious, and  respect him (and trust him) too much to go digging through his stuff.

    Post # 36
    Member
    2154 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @Ms Mini:

    I agree – I would be so, so weirded out if an SO ever looked through my phone or email or whatever. I don’t have anything to hide, but that’s a baaaaad sign, ladies.

    Post # 37
    Member
    2373 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2008

    I don’t think it’s snooping if you have access to an account. My husband and I have linked email accounts. I go into his account for different reasons (bills go to his account) but never with the intention of “catching him”

    As far as text messages, he’ll lean over and ask who’s that? And I’ll share the communication- it’s not because he doesn’t trust me- it’s genuine curiosity.I ask the same of him because I’m curious. Usually it’s work related and I like to know about his job.

     I’ve never understood people who have separate things, but as a kid my parents didn’t really give us privacy so I think that’s why I’m that way. It’s what I’m used to

    Post # 38
    Member
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @KaitlinHudson:

    Been there sister and it’s a sucky place to be.  I hope everything works out.

    Post # 39
    Member
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @maureen9004:I agree about the text messages thing.  I never hear my text messages or my phone ringing so he’ll pick it up and announce who’s calling, or who has texted.  If I’m not in the room, he’ll sometimes bring my phone to me.  Not because he has to know who is calling or texting, but just because he knows I’m absent minded and won’t know I missed something.  🙂

    We both have full access to each other’s accounts; email, bank, finances, etc., and he actually has a password bank where he stores all of our info.  In personal areas though, we really endeavor to respect each other’s privacy.  I dumped an ex-boyfriend because he picked the lock on the box containing my dog’s ashes (odd, I know, but she was my first pet!) and when I found out I was devastated.  All he had to do was ask, and I would’ve gladly told him what was in there.  It was the fact that he snooped in order to find out.  A locked box was just too much temptation for him, I suppose. 

    SO has heard this story and knows that I’m a private person, but will share anything with him if asked.  My life, my heart and my future are his forever.  Our email accounts stay open on our respective computers because we feel confident the other person isn’t going to go snooping (and because there’s nothing to hide, unless its Christmastime!), and we could go through each other’s personal things at any time, but don’t out of respect.  I have old love letters and very personal pictures and such that I’ll share if he asks me to, but would rather not have him find on his own.  I don’t hang on to them because I’m carrying a candle for those guys, but because I still love them (in the most generic fashion) and they are tokens of memories of the time spent with that person.  Does that make sense?  So, I guess you could say that our lives are like open books to each other, but we only read certain pages when we’re together.  🙂

    Post # 40
    Member
    4410 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I don’t snoop.  I haven’t ever felt any need to snoop with Jim. He’s never given me any reason to be suspicious, and I don’t anticipate that he ever will. We’re pretty open about things, which means if I’m uncomfortable about something, I can just talk to him about it and know he’ll be honest with me.

    Post # 41
    Member
    877 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    The only thing I’ve ever done was read a few the subject lines in his inbox when he has his computer on and walks away from it.  I don’t go further because I don’t see any reason to.  If I’m suspicious about anything, we communicate well enough that I’m not afraid of asking him about it.  Another reason why I don’t snoop is that I respect his privacy and I would only expect the same from him. 

    Post # 42
    Member
    9028 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    i can barely endure listening to my voice messages, for some reason its a chore to listen to voice messages so i definitely cant listen to his too

    Post # 43
    Member
    852 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @KaitlinHudson- I’m glad you posted. I was really wanting to comment- but everyone else had said they dont.  Yep I snoop- although I don’t consider it snooping at this point.  Fiance has done a few things to diminish trust in our relationship and we now have an open policy where i have all his passwords and he knows I can check them at any time. Two months ago when our lives blew up I was checking things daily.  Now I am checking maybe once a week at most and doing my best not to do it at all. We are working on getting our trust back. Hard road to go down.

    Post # 44
    Member
    271 posts
    Helper bee

    I used to feel like most of you ladies.  I never snooped (snope?).  Then one day I had a nagging feeling in my gut and it would not go away so I snooped for the first time and my feelings were confirmed.  Something was up, not cheating or anything similar but something he did not divulge to me.  We worked through it because I immediately came clean about the snooping.  But since then, I have not been able to stop.  I don’t do it regularly but every once in a while I’ll get that nagging feeling again.  I am really trying to stop because I was never like this and that is not the type of relationship I want.  He even knows when I do it and says he has nothing to hide.  But it is difficult when you have followed your gut and it was right to stop snooping even if it was just one time.

    Post # 45
    Member
    852 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @jjilyeah: This is exactly what happened with us.  I know how you feel!  I don’t know if you are open to it but you guys might try counseling.  Fiance has started counseling on his own (for his issues) I have been continuing counseling and we are also going together.  It helps us talk things out better than we do alone and also gives us tools to gain trust back. I dont know what happened with you and yous SO but it might be worth a shot.

    Post # 46
    Member
    73 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Everything I do my husband knows about. If I want to see what’s going on on his Facebook / snoop on OTHER people, I ask him. If I want to find something in his email, I ask him. His texts I look at, but he’s usually right by me and it’s usually just because he forgets to tell me about!

    The topic ‘Do You Snoop?’ is closed to new replies.

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