(Closed) Do you still get approached/hit on as a married bee?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 31
Member
537 posts
Busy bee

Definitely yes, and I don’t think a ring is a general deterrent. I didn’t wear a wedding ring for ages, so I know from comparison.

I wore my engagement ring very proudly though (because I loved it so), and it did the opposite of deterring this one guy. He asked me out, so I pointed to the ring apologetically, and told him ‘Sorry, I’m engaged’, thinking this was the gentlest way to decline. It only seemed to encourage him! He actually started to beg me. “Please! Please let me buy you dinner! You’re not married yet.” It was like he thought I had some sort of free pass to f*** a stranger before I got married, and I should use it on him! 

Post # 32
Member
859 posts
Busy bee

In my experience a ring is not much of a deterrent to men. As a married woman who still dates I picked an unconventional ring but a number of times when I’ve used “I’m married” to try to shut a guy down its only made him more aggressive 

Post # 33
Member
6800 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Lol, I never even got approached as a single!  I’d say when engaged I got sort of hit on once, but it was by a teenager calling to me from his buddy’s car.  Nothing awful, more like “hey, how’s your day” I think someone in the car might have mentioned to him that I had a ring on (hand hanging out the window) b/c he then yelled “sorry!”  It was adorable, actually.

ETA: I don’t go anywhere it would be appropriate to hit on a woman anyway, now that I think about it.  I’m not a bar crawler, don’t do the nightlife, live in the sticks.  So that pretty much leaves the grocery store.

Post # 34
Member
5101 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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happybunny177:  I get hit on more in my 30’s than I ever did in my 20’s. I don’t think a ring is a deterrent because honestly guys don’t seem to look or notice. I always get hit on by older guys now like 45+.  It’s almost like I’m in an age bracket for them that they don’t feel like I’m jail bait but young enough to give them an ego boost if I said yes! ๐Ÿ˜‰

 

I also get hit on loads when I visit a relative in a nursing home!  it cracks me up… They have forgotten how to do most daily tasks for themselves but they still remember how to hit on a female! ๐Ÿ™‚ bahahaha!! They never hit on me when I’m with my hubby though!

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 35
Member
4229 posts
Honey bee

I never get hit on, but I assume that has more to do with my resting bitch face than my wedding ring.

Post # 36
Member
5101 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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ClaudiaKishi:  bahahaha……resting bitch face!  love it!  You always crack me up and give the best advice on here! I always seek out your babysitters club avatar on threads and you never disappoint!

Post # 37
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016 - Theater

Ever since I got married I’ve been hit on more often. It’s really awkward for me because I am not used to this kind of attention and usually blurt out “ugh I’m gay!” before anything else registers in my brain. ๐Ÿ˜€ 

Also because of my relatively low self esteem and rampant paranoia I always assume men are hitting on me because as an ugly woman I should be flattered and be easy to pick up, or they’re trying to be funny at my expense.

 

edit: also the next guy who hits on me and then responds with “huh you don’t look gay” is going to be twisted into a sorry pretzel because I am really sick of hearing that.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 5 months ago by Rowanberry.
Post # 38
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Last time I got properly ‘hit on’ was at my hen party and after that…..nada!!! Though when I meet someone new I would naturally mention my husband at some point in conversation so maybe that’s why? Or maybe I just give off a TAKEN vibe!! Who knows!!! 

Post # 39
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I honestly don’t think much deters men. I wear my ring, they know I’m married, my husband comes with me on the weekend to the gym, they know I have kids…..i would think that all of that would encompass “bugger off, leave me alone” but some guys just don’t care. They’re quite ballsy

Post # 40
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

I do still get hit on once in a blue moon, but I don’t go out much lol. 

Super Bowl Sunday I was watching the game in a bar with a couple of friends, and after the game this guy came up and started chatting with me. I thought maybe he was just being nice/weird (asking about my heritage, since I have red hair… “I can see that you’re Irish!”), because people ask about my hair/heritage all the time, but at the end of the conversation he was like, “Well, I have to go, but it was really nice talking to you.” I agreed that it was nice talking to him and he said he’d love to have my number! Lol. So I pointed to my rings and told him I’m married. Thankfully he was a nice guy who didn’t ask the follow-up question of, “Happily?” (That has happened to my mom before. Ick.)

Honestly it felt kind of nice to know I’ve still “got it”! But I think it’s ironic because guys really never hit on me before ๐Ÿ˜›

Post # 41
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

View original reply
skunktastic:  Things can get pretty heated around the produce with all the talk of melons and cucumbers! ๐Ÿ˜‰ JK

Post # 42
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

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gogglefruits:  Ugh! Something like that happened to my DH when he was just my Fiance. Some girl was all over him while he was working (I guess she loves a man in uniform), and he said he was engaged and she goes, “So there’s still time, then!”

I can’t imagine ever wanting to be with someone who is married/enagaged/in a relationship!

Post # 43
Member
1447 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - St. John\'s Lutheran Church

It blows my mind that this happens to so many married women. I myself get hit on very infrequently, and even before I started wearing an obvious engagement ring I rarely got hit on. I think it’s because I give off a VERY unreceptive vibe, haha.

Post # 44
Member
390 posts
Helper bee

I had only been married for a week and got hit on while at the laudromat doing our laudry and wearing my brand new wedding band, and old sweatpants.  I hadn’t been hit on in a few years until that one.  It was completely creepy too because he just wouldn’t leave me alone

Post # 45
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

nothing will stop some guys. i have never really gotten hit on really. Fiance co-worker creeped on me a few times. his boss today had asked him if i stayed at the house while Fiance drives nights. Fiance told him no, boss asked if i had clothes over there, Fiance said no she has not fully moved in yet. We are both weirded out by this. The house is not to far from his work. literally 2 minutes and 15 seconds from the house. (yes we timed it) and boss drives by house on his lunch. but lives west of work and we are east so why would he know if my car was at the house at night or not…… just odd that he was asking that.

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