Post # 1
Married bees, engaged bees, and bees in serious relationships, this one’s for all of you! I’m genuinely curious to see what the popular opinion is on the bee.
Note: I’m asking about your general rule. If you have that one guy best friend from childhood that you grew up with and still hang out with all the time, that’s great, but does the same rule apply to old school acquaintances, co-workers, etc?
Post # 2
Both DH and I have friends of the opposite sex that we hang out with in a variety of settings. I think as long as communication is good, there is nothing to be feared in having friends of the opposite sex.
Post # 3
No, I don’t hang out one on one with men. I never really had any male “friends.” It was more like men who I was considering dating and vice versa. It would always be at least semi flirtatious. So now that I am almost married (less than 2 months to go!) I have no reason to pursue friendships with men and I have dropped every guy I used to hang out with. I have a ton of female friends to hang out with. My FH is the same way.
Post # 4
We both are more than free to hang out with members of the opposite sex and that are single lol. Even if we were to humor the opposite sex part, I’m not straight. In any case, my husband and I trust one another and do not feel the need to place limitations on friends unless a reason arises which wouldn’t be due to their relationship status, sexuality, or gender.
Post # 5
I do occasionally and so does my husband. It’s not a big deal. He has a couple female friends from his PhD program that he gets together to study with occasionally. I’ve never met them so I’m not really sure if they are in a relationship or not. And his best friend that he has known since high school is female and every once in awhile they get together when I can’t make it. She even went on his weekend bachelor party trip. I also have a few guy friends that I occasionally hang out with one on one.
I don’t see having opposite sex friends as being a problem. I 100% trust my husband to not put himself in an inappropriate situation or cheat on me. And he has the same trust in me.
Post # 6
In serious relationship. I personally do not hangout w male friends 1:1, but I have had that rule since college. I also do not text men, unless part of a group text. I do not text or hangout with my girlfriend’s boyfriends or husbands unless part of a group. To me they are friendly acquaintances and not MY friends. And unless a female friend has been grandfathered in, SO does not have new female friends. In fact, even though I encourage him to go to concerts w his female friend (when I don’t want to go) they both don’t “like the way it looks” now. I Don’t even like going out to dinner w male coworkers or manager on business trips despite being in a very male dominated company/industry. With drinking & stuff, it can get weird. I am very traditional with that sort of stuff and really don’t have any desire to socialize w men without my SO around.
Post # 7
Sure do. I didn’t stop liking my friends when I started liking my SO. I trust him and he trusts me. No need to change.
Post # 8
Since I am a mature adult and not lodged firmly up my SO’s ass, I hang out with anyone I think is cool, regardless of their sex. My SO isn’t insecure and controlling, so he is fine with it.
Post # 9
Very occasionally. For the most part there just is no reason for me to hang out solo with anyone. But I do have a male friend from an old hobby who now happens to live in the closest city to me. A city that I travel to for continuing education a couple of times a year. So of course I let him know if I’m in town and we usually get dinner (in public). My husband knows that and doesn’t care. If my husband can travel with me, he does and we all hang out. Said friend came up to us this past autumn and brought a girlfriend, so it’s likely things will be different next time I’m down there, but that’s no problem either. She was lovely.
Regarding coworkers and things, I just don’t have a reason to hang out with them alone. I can’t think of any scenario in which I would, barring carpooling with a coworker to continuing ed – and we met up with the rest of them once we arrived. But if I invite one over to pick apples in our orchard, I’m going to invite the rest as well, and my job is female-dominated anyway. Likewise for my husband – I don’t think he even has any female friends in any case.
ETA: I used to go caving for my hobby and it was often just the guys (of various ages) and me, including, if I look back far enough, one kid about 8 years younger who was so gung ho he was easy to get on trips when no one else could. He and I took a week-long trip before I moved out of the area as a last hurrah and I invited him to fly out to me and drove him back so he could cave in my new area as a good opportunity. Husband never batted an eye (just boyfriend then), though I’m sure the age difference helped.
Post # 10
Yes, we occasionally spend time alone with a member of 50% of the population of earth.
Post # 11
Married, and we both hang out with people we like, when we like, regardless of their gender.
Is this seriously still an issue for some people?
Post # 12
Both DH and I have friends of the opposite sex at work that we’ll get coffee or lunch with at work, but that’s typically the extent of it. When we’re not at work, we always invite each other.
Post # 13
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
Married. My DH and I are free to hang with whoever regardless of their gender. It’s just not an issue for us.
Post # 14
Married. I’ve gotten together one on one with guys I used to go to high school with quite a few times. I don’t see what the big deal is. I don’t think I could be in a relationship where something like that is looked down upon.
Post # 15
I prefer the company of other women. I grew up with three brothers and always wanted a sister, so always just gravitated towards female friends. So not an issue for me! Fiance has some female friends but they are all married etc. I think it’s more natural to put your energy into your relationship as you get older. I did have some single make friends before I met Fiance and it’s not like I’ve dropped them or anything, it’s just I sort of spend a lot of time with Fiance now, and our shared friends, or my best girl friends, or family. There’s only so much time in the day xo