Do you still hang out one-on-one with (single) members of the opposite sex?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you still hang out one-on-one with (single) members of the opposite sex?
    Yeah, it's not a big deal. : (110 votes)
    66 %
    No way! : (56 votes)
    34 %
  • Post # 61
    Member
    2331 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    mrandmrsnunes :  Did you have other friends before you met your FI? What happened to them?

    Do you go anywhere alone?

    Why would it change when you get married?

    Post # 62
    Member
    1939 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

    Innerdonught :  Yes I have plenty of friends and I have kept all of my friends from before I met my fiancee the only thing that has changed is that we hang out with my friends or we hang out with his friends.  

    Once we are married we will spend more time together so it wouldn’t matter spending a few hours once a month apart, right now we’re not willing to do that

    Post # 63
    Member
    1939 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

    slomotion :  it just happened naturally, it’s just our preference to spend as much time as possible together. Neither of us have a need or desire to socialize  without each other. I don’t think it would cause a fight or one of us getting upset, we just enjoy spending time together 

    Post # 64
    Member
    10030 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    mrandmrsnunes :  Thanks for answering! Was just curious as this is the first I’ve heard of this.

    Post # 65
    Member
    1731 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    missjoy0819 :  As a group – yes. One on one – no. But that’s also because I never had true guy friends that just stayed friends. If a guy and I hung out together by ourselves, it meant that we were on a date and at least one of us was looking for something more. Lol

    Post # 66
    Member
    1939 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

    slomotion :  No problem ask any questions I will be happy to answer

    Post # 67
    Member
    4249 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    This topic makes me lol every time.

    Post # 68
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    I have a male friend from graduate school and my Fiance has female friends from residency. All is good! I wouldn’t expect him to forgo these friends because of me. 

    Post # 69
    Member
    395 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    Innerdonught :  Not sure why, but obviously it is still a “thing” for some folks. Yikes! undecided

    Post # 70
    Member
    649 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Very rarely. I’m trying to think of a situation where a guy friend would invite me somewhere, but not our other friends or Darling Husband, and it just doesn’t happen.  It would seem really weird because they all know each other and would have no reason to hang out one on one. So I don’t have a problem with the idea, I don’t think either one of us needs a chaperone, but in reality we usually don’t even think about whether we’d do this because it never comes up. 

    Post # 71
    Member
    466 posts
    Helper bee

    els2016 :  Am I really the only person who would be weirded out if their husband was like “hey, I met this girl on facebook and she wants to get drinks later, do you mind?”

    You are aware, of course, that there are ways to meet new people of the opposite sex that don’t involve social networks?  Would you be as weirded out about a new co-worker, neighbour, member of the same gym or hobby group?

    Post # 72
    Member
    901 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Your poll doesn’t apply to us…

    Darling Husband and I don’t hangout with single members of the opposite sex because we don’t feel compelled to.  It’s pretty easy considering most of our friends are in serious relationships and/or married. 

    I have a best male friend who happens to be an ex (from WAY back in the day) that Darling Husband would be fine with me spending time with alone.  I’ve known this friend for 20 years and he and Darling Husband get along great so it’s kind of a rare situation.  If it bothered Darling Husband, I wouldn’t push it but I’m lucky he’s secure enough with our relationship to not feel threatened.

    Post # 73
    Member
    7750 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I just don’t understand having a blanket rule about this. Like really, you wouldn’t be ok with your husband having lunch with a female coworker “because they could develop feelings”?? Some of these answers boggle my mind. I mean if some random woman randomly messaged my husband on fb all flirtatiously and asked to go out for a drink, of course I wouldn’t be cool with that, but a female coworker or an old friend that happens to be a single lady? Who the f cares if they grab the occasional drink or meal?

    Maybe I am more lax cause my husband works in a field that has a lot of ladies in it, so it’s always been common for him to sometimes spend time with other women, without me present. In fact i’m out of town at the moment, and one of DH’s female coworkers is about to go over to our home to work with him on something, with no one but our cats there to chaperone it! the horror! 

    Post # 74
    Member
    2866 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    tiffanybruiser :  People are not automatically going to develop feelings for each other because one is male and the other is female.  I am always surprised when people feel there should be a blanket rule for everything. I avoid one on one situations where I get the sense that there is a flirtatious edge to the interactions but sometimes there is really absolutely nothing. If either Darling Husband and I have longtime friends and nothing has happened in the past, there are usually very good reasons (lack of attraction, both parties in great relationships etc)

    Post # 75
    Member
    7750 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    nycsa :  “I avoid one on one situations where I get the sense that there is a flirtatious edge to the interactions but sometimes there is really absolutely nothing.”

    Yes! This exactly. I do the same exact thing, and I expect my husband to do the same. You can avoid these type of situations without avoiding all situations across the board that involve alone time with the opposite sex.

    It just reminds me of Mike Pence’s creepy rule about never having a meeting alone with another woman out of respect for his wife. I know he thinks he’s being deeply chivalrous and romantic, but to me all that says is “I don’t trust myself with any woman.” creep!

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