(Closed) Do you still say MY instead of OUR

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

We’ve lived together for about 3 years as well. It took a few months, but he did move in with me so I was much more use to saying “my apartment”. Honestly, though, there wasn’t much I referred to as mine before that since we’d been together for 2 1/2 years at that point and everything sort of meshed together by then.

Post # 4
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

my laptop is still my laptop, before or after marriage, since I’m its primary user. the bed is OUR bed because we both use it equally. his computer is still his computer, but it’s OUR apartment.

Post # 5
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Depends on what we’re referring to. We know that most of the stuff in OUR house is both of ours, but sometimes we say ‘my’. We flip flop on stuff like vehicles – we’re not particularly possesive over them, but its just like, the jeep is my primary vehicle and the truck is his, so I sometimes say ‘my jeep’ or ‘your truck’. Now that I think about it though, we say ‘the’ a lot … like ‘we’ll take THE jeep today’ or ‘get your feet off THE couch’ or ‘wheres THE lap top?’, which I guess is kind of the same as saying our.

 

I too have slipped up and said ‘my’ wedding a time or two, typically in the beginning of the engagement, and he always corrected me. Now he does it sometimes, too. Haha. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee

Not everything is “ours” because..not everything is “ours.” Some things are his, some are mine. Marriage doesn’t make everything “ours.” If that’s the case then we’re getting OUR period and WE need to pick us up some more tampons.

Post # 7
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

It really depends on the object in question. We each have our own desktops and laptops. He has a tablet and I have a tablet. Everything is share and share alike but it’s still “mine”. Same with the cars. they are the same make and model (just different years) so we differenitate based on “your car” or “my car” (and I can’t drive a stick shift yet so his is pretty much his car right now). It’s OUR aptartment, bed, and other furniture. It’s MY kitchen though, end of story.

@claireos:  I laughed SO HARD

Post # 8
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

It depends what it is. Sometimes I’ve slipped up and said “my bedroom” even though my husband and I didn’t even live together until after marriage. But also if I’m talking to someone I may say “my wedding” since to them it wouldn’t really always make sense to say “our wedding,” even though the day was obviously for both. We also have our own laptops that we had before we even met each other, so even though we share occasionally, we still maintain that one is mine and one is his. The only electronic we have that is fully shared is the iPad that I got as a gift before I met my husband. He uses it WAY more than I do, but I will sometimes say “my iPad” even to him. Sometimes I do that when I see that he isn’t taking care of it so well lol. 

Post # 9
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Oh, we’re both pretty independent and most things are mine or his, honestly. Sometimes I even call the dogs his and mine, since we both came into the relationship with one. The house is HIS house. I mean, it’s ours now, but I’ll always call it his.

Post # 10
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We still say “my”… because technically those things are his or mine. I bought him a kindle for his use. I borrow it from time to time, but it’s his and keep and take care of. Same for his 3DS, his games, etc. I have things that are just mine (my phone, my laptop). That said, we do share everything.. so it’s not like I say, “Hey, that’s my laptop, you can’t ever use it!”

Most of the rest of the stuff in the house, though, is “ours”.

Post # 11
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We’ve been married almost two years and living together 6 years or so and we still have stuff that is his or mine.  My car, his car, his laptop, my computer, etc etc.  It’s not like we won’t let the other person use those things…it’s just easier to refer to those things in that way.

 

What bothers me is Darling Husband doesn’t use ‘we’ a lot when referring to our actions.  He’ll say to someone, “I painted all weekend”  Meanwhile, I was right there with him painting just as much (if not more).  That kind of stuff irks me where I have to correct him.

Post # 12
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

It depends on what we are referring to.  We have our couches, bed, house, dog, etc.

But I have my laptop (and he has his).  I have my e-reader.  He has his iPhone.

Post # 13
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Almost everything is ours…

But if something is broken, expensive or misbehaving, it becomes mine.

If something is awesome, amazing and generally coveted by all, it becomes his…

Post # 14
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We’ve lived together for over 3 years, and we own a house together. We each have our own macbook, so I’d say mine and his. We have a car each, and they’re not “ours” mostly because his is standard and I can’t drive it, lol. It is a strange phenomenon, though, going from having your own things to having shared things. We mostly just laugh it off. Like when we moved I paid for our new snowblower, yet he is the only one who has ever used it. I still jokingly refer to it as “my snowblower.”

Post # 15
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I still say MY for many things, because many things are MINE, not “ours”.

The laptop I bought, was mine before we got married, it’s still MINE, after. I don’t like how things are magically supposed to change because one gets married. I’m not magically held to this extra standard now being a “wife” n all… I’m not going to be doing things now that we’re “more committed” I don’t share my things just becasue I signed some papers… I did/ established all this BEFORE we got married. 

Post # 16
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee

@Nona99:  Yes, this exactly!

Actually, he is in the “mine” camp. I am in the “ours” camp. But, as Nona pointed out, if it’s amazing and awesome it is totally his. For instance, when the kitchen sink was clogged last week it was “honey, your kitchen sink is clogged”, and when we got a new car it was “dude, check out my new car”. Undecided

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