(Closed) Do you “submit” to your husband?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

holyshitfuck no!

Ahem. Sorry. I’m not a Christian, but stuff like this has always been my reasoning as to why I’m not.

Post # 4
Member
5009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

There is no way in this universe that I would EVER marry a man who would expect me to submit to him. Heck! I wouldn’t even date someone who gave that impression.

I’m the dominant, he’s the submissive, that’s the way our relationship works.

We’re both happy. 

Post # 5
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

No. We won’t make a decision unless both of us are on board with it 100%. There has never been a time in our marriage where we’ve been at odds over something and I say “Well, you’re the man, I trust you to make the final decision.” No no. Not judging the many happy and peaceful marriages who find this works for them, but I am far too much of a control freak for that.

Post # 6
Member
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

ha, i would like to see my husband try!

but…. i do treat him as man of the house, we live a very 1950’s homelife where he is called when dinner is on the table ready for him, he doesnt do any chores and i dont even change the color of our towels because he likes blue, he is very much pampered. 

hes not demanded any of this – its what i like to do for him because there is many things he does for me – im a physcial take charge type of person and i show my love by doing things whereas hes emotional so we balance eachother because we recongnize that we are equals but we bring different important parts to our marriage

Post # 7
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I respect my fiance but I would never say that I “submit” to him. In fact, I have the stronger (and sometimes slight abrasive and definitely opinated) personality and he is a people pleaser and extremely easy going, so I would say he sometimes submits to me. BUT I prefer for him not to, because I don’t ever want him to be resentful of how often I get my way. It’s been over 3 years (together, not married yet) and he’s learning to say no to me, and I listen or we find a compromise when he does because it’s so rare he does.

I’m not a Christian though and don’t follow the bible. So I’m not sure if that makes a difference.

Post # 8
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@soon2bhis:

Do you do everything the bible tells you to do (or not do)?

Post # 9
Member
361 posts
Helper bee

I won’t ever submit to a man again. Husband or otherwise. Mister believes I am his partner, his equal. And therefore that I should have an equal say in matters of the two of us. He does not step into me and my children, since they are not his, unless I ask. We challenge each other, that was what brought us together, and I won’t become a doormat just because the bible says so. Because, it also says I can sell my daughter into slavery. 

Post # 10
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Not an option in our household. We make decisions together and I certainly wouldn;t step back and say well since you are the man. I learned how to have my own independence for too long. I did submit at one point to a man, it was an abusive relationship and that is a road I will never go down again.

Post # 12
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

View original reply
@soon2bhis:

Ok good. You had me worried there. I’d say that this is one of the things that the bible is quite wrong about. 

Post # 13
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I believe that God gave both men and women brains so they could use them. A marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship. I believe a marriage in which a women keeps her opinions and thoughts to herself is only going to lead to resentment and unhappiness.

Post # 14
Member
2948 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am a christian but I do not follow every single thing thats written in the bible. For some people that makes me a horrible person but whatever….

I think we are created equal and just because hes a man doesnt mean hes better than I am or has the final say so.

Anyone that knows us in RL knows I run this show! LMAO

Post # 15
Member
645 posts
Busy bee

Whaaaaaaaa?! No way! We make all decisions together! It can be a challenge sometimes because our opintion for mot things is usually “I don’t know”

A marriage is a partnership and I think that both individuals need to treat each other like equals. 

Post # 16
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
@soon2bhis: Despite what the bible says, doing what feels right and comfortable and true to yourself is never the wrong path. Just like there are many Christians who do not believe homosexuality is a sin, there are many women who embrace their place in the household as a partner to their husband, not a submissive role.

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