(Closed) Do you “submit” to your husband?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 197
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

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@moonadea: I believe they are. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ love the Church. Christ died for the churche’s salvation. If that’s not submission and unconditional love, I don’t know what is.

Post # 198
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@mommytobee: agreed, men are most definitely called to “submit”…

The unfortunate thing is that the Bible is twisted and things are taken out of context by people who choose to use certain sentences and partial sentences to their advantage. If you marry/date a man who claims that – because of one translation of one word in the Bible – he can act like a tyrant… rest assured that man is not lead by God.

Post # 200
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

If anything he is more likely to submit to me lol jk. Anyways no we make decisions together. Neither or us really feel like we need to submit, because both of our opinions are always heard!Of course we dont always see eye to eye on everything, but I think that we always find a way to come to a middle ground that we can agree on. On a sidenote I would not marry someone that felt like I need to submit to him!

Post # 201
Member
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Absolutely not. We both respect each other equally.

Post # 202
Member
5009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

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@scadadle15: While I’m not in favour of unconditional submission, submission in and of itself does not negate respect. My Fiance submits to me but I have a vast amount of respect for him. 

Post # 203
Member
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@SpecialSundae: You’re right, I didn’t mean it that way. I just meant that no one “submits” to the other. We are equal partners.

Post # 204
Member
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

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@scadadle15: Exactly.  “Submission” as it’s meant to be understood should lead to mutual respect and deferring to the other for their good.  DH should respect and defer to my judgment and likewise.

If you haven’t read Mrs. Argentina’s explaination of the Greek words for “submission”, it explains quite a bit of where the actual, historical, linguistic meaning behind the English translation came from and what the actual meaning is. 

It should NEVER indicate a heirarchy or any sort of superiority of men to women.

Post # 205
Member
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I understand that there was a bit of misinterpretation in the translation which is why I would not include that line in our ceremony. I don’t like that it is a line specifically for the wife. In context, it is sexist. I understand that maybe it wasn’t meant to be in the original language but that is how I interpret in English.

Instead, we are customizing our ceremony to be more about our partnership.

Post # 206
Member
5009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

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@scadadle15: I absolutely agree that it’s sexist, as is the vast majority of the bible (and most other religious texts).

Post # 207
Member
3980 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t submit to him anymore than he submits to me. We are equal partners in our “team” and we listen and respect eachother equally. We discuss things before we act and make sure we are always on the same page. He wouldn’t want me to submit to him any more than I would be willing to. I am too strong of a personality for that.

Post # 208
Member
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

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@scadadle15: And that’s great because that’s what marriage should be.  And yes, that’s how the English interpretation reads, so naturally, that’s why it’s so controversial in modern times. 

However, I think knowing that the *original* intent was not to do anything more than encourage mutual respect is just simply helpful for those who are unfamilar with the Bible and/or Christianity.  Heck, it’s helpful for anyone because a lot of Christians still are misinformed about the true meaning.  A lot of more modern translations of the Bible have interpreted this passage differently too, just so you’re aware.

Post # 209
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If you mean submit as in do whatever he tells me to do, my answer is absolutely not. But if you mean submit as in give in more easily and let him be “the man” more often than not, then yes. This is my second marriage and if I’ve learned anything it’s that I’d rather be happy than right. Not only is it detrimental to win every debate or argument with your Fiance or husband, but I think it’s also emasculating for a man. So nowadays, this time around, I have learned to be dumb like a fox. And I am much happier for it!!!

Post # 210
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I pray that I will be the wife that God wants me to be in our marriage. I am hoping He will place more of His will and a lot less of my little will and help me to be a wonderful wife to my husband. I do not see it as “little I’s and big U’s” I see it as a reverance to obey God’s word and a way to sumbit my will to His by submitting to my husband.

The husband is to handle the wife with care and likewise… be willing to lay down his life for his wife (Love her like Christ loves the church). Christ loved the church enough to die for it.

In my marriage I desire to do everything I can to please my husband and be a great wife, however I expect my husband to be an awesome husband in return. Nevertheless, Christ is the head of man, and man of the woman, and the chidren to their parents. So, if I must honor my husband as head of household then so be it. He will be the head and ultimate leader of our household… I will be right there by his side cheering and praying him on.

Post # 211
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We always said we want to be a team. There is no ‘submission’ in our relationship…sometimes he makes a choice, sometimes I do..but if we dont’ like what the other is doing we just say it. I dont feel as though I can’t make a choice or do something I want to because I have to ‘submit’.

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