Do you take your baby out past bedtime?

posted 5 months ago in Babies
Post # 17
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s definitely not worth messing with bedtime.  And I think this lasts for a loooong time sometimes.  I’m sure it depends on the kid though.  Mine are 3 and 18 months, and they’re little monsters if we mess with their schedule.  A few weeks ago we had my brother-in-law’s wedding and my 3 yr old was a flower girl, so we had the rehearsal dinner Friday and wedding Saturday.  We were up about 1-1.5 hours past bedtime each night and they were so messed up after, it took about a full WEEK to get back on schedule.  They were crabby, had early wake times and crappy naps.  We only do that for very special occasions because it’s just not worth it.  We don’t have much of an evening social life because all of our friends are in the same boat haha.  We have afternoon playdates.  Or we all leave the kids with grandparents for a weekend and party like it’s 1999 lol.  

Post # 18
2354 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Only worst case scenarios… like last night I was flying home with my 8 month old from a long weekend trip, and we didn’t get in until 9:30 pm.  He slept some on the plane but was also waking and fussing, etc.  No way would we purposely do that just to go out to dinner or go to a BBQ.  If it’s a really special occasion, we’d either get a sitter (haven’t done that yet!), only one person would go, or possibly bring a pack n play and put him down in a dark quiet room with the travel monitor.

Post # 19
7772 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

candy08 :  Yep we’re in the same boat exactly. She will nap in her stroller during the day provided someone is constantly moving it around lol, but once it gets into the evening period of time it’s very tricky to get her down while we’re out and about. Also it involves lots of nursing which isn’t the most convenient when out and about. I would say up until around the 4m mark, she would happily nap in her car seat when we were in public, even in the evenings, but her ability to do that has been declining ever since and now it’s a real rarity if we can get her to pass out in her car seat while we’re out (unless we’re in the car driving).

I agree with you though, the one benefit of the earlier bedtime is more adult time with dh and me! The 11pm bedtime was nice because it gave ME a better night’s sleep, but the con of that was I’d go to bed immediately after putting baby down, so dh and I had like zero grown up time in the evenings. Now we’ve got more of that, but I’m feeling more sleep deprived again because of her 4 or 5am MOTN wakeups. Ya win some, ya lose some…

ETA: I’m a lot more willing to mess with nap times (which aren’t too regulated as it is) than night sleep. I haven’t seen a huge correlation between quality of naps during the day and quality of sleep the following night. So unless she’s having a really off day or something, I’m usually happy to make plans for whatever during the day regardless of how that might impact naps…but nighttime is another story. 

Post # 21
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

No kids of my own yet (cooking up #1 as we speak) but have a sister and a very close friend with 2 year olds so have seen a lot of this.

Friend – SUPER strict about bed time. Child is never ever put to sleep late and naps are also on a very strict schedule (including woken up at a specific time if not yet awake). Sleep is highly regulated. Her son can still get over-tired/over-stimulated and become crabby but typically recovers after his next good sleep. BIG caveat here is her parents live in an attached unit so she rarely has to turn down social events because she just hands the monitor over to one of them in the evenings once kiddo is asleep. Kind of best of all worlds!

Sister – much less regulated with her daughter. Daughter always gets a nap but she may flex it depending on palns for the day. Bed time will often be pushed, but never more than ~1.5-2 hrs after her normal weekday bedtime. 

I will say that her daughter has ALWAYS been a champion sleeper. If over at family for dinner, my sister will put her down in an available bed and doesn’t have issue – then can transfer her home once adults are finished up socializing. 

I will say that her daughter tends to have more disruption and so it can take a couple days for her to get back on track. She’s crabby and irritable in the mean time. Sister is trying to be better about only *really* disrupting the sleep for big events (e.g. weddings) and otherwise will try to find coverage or limits socializing to family/close friends homes where she can put child down to sleep close to normal bed time (even if without normal bed time routine).


ETA: Forgot the main takeaway! Friend HATES dealing with crabby child so works very hard to protect his sleep while sister is pretty relaxed about crabby child so is more lenient about dealing with it. I’ll probably be somewhere in-between, will be pretty strict about routine but willing to break it/find alternative solutions for fun events. I also hope to have a good sleeper for the ‘put them to sleep and transfer them later’ trick – but that totally depends on baby!

Post # 22
1107 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

Only once in awhile. I prefer to keep the same bedtime overall for my daughter. Plus I am no night owl myself and a homebody so it makes it super easy not to be an issue. About the only time the bedtime routine is different is if we have an emergency or the every month or 2 we go visit friends. 

Post # 23
876 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

candy08 :  I highly reccommend the book “healthy sleep habits happy child” it will explain a lot about what babies and young children need sleep wise and the biology behind sleep.

Post # 26
9493 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

If I had a young baby that slept that well I’d set myself like 10 alarms to be home to keep that shit on track lol. My kid didn’t sleep through the night until like 14 months and that was with sleep training…

Post # 28
1671 posts
Bumble bee

I second what Ballet513 said, this is our sleep bible! 

Post # 29
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I have a 7 month old and we let him stay up later occasionally, for say a family members birthday dinner, but not on the regular. My in laws only live a few streets away though, so regardless of who is hosting once he cracks it we take him to bed.

Post # 30
871 posts
Busy bee

candy08 :  Even if your friends don’t have kids of their own, they should still be understanding once you tell them. Can you offer to meet for an earlier dinner that will get your daughter home for bedtime? Can you have them over for a late dinner at your house (you and your husband can tag team this so one of you makes dinner and one of you bathes LO and puts her to bed), you could do a 9:00-9:30 dinner. 

For special occasions such as a wedding, you can either make an exception and keep  her out later or take one of her daycare teachers up on their offer to babysit. It may not be a bad idea to arrange a date night just for you and your husband so you can ‘try out’ this arrangement and have one of the daycare teachers look after her. 

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