(Closed) Do you talk to others about your problems when your SO clearly doesnt like it?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you talk to others about your problems when your SO clearly doesnt like it?
    YES : (26 votes)
    49 %
    NO : (27 votes)
    51 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    483 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I don’t know if you talking to us counts though…I mean, I won’t talk to my family about it but I feel fine talking to you all about it (although I did want to post a gripe about my Future Mother-In-Law earlier and totally censored myself)… Hmm….

    Post # 4
    Member
    1357 posts
    Bumble bee

    Absolutely yes. I love getting advice and input whereas my fiance really doesn’t care what other people think. I have tried to keep the advice-asking to a minimum, and away from personal things, because I know it bothers him.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I really try not to but it’s hard. Especially here on Weddingbee. I know he wouldn’t like it (he knows I’m on here but he doesn’t read anything) but I figure better here than I talk to friends or family!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1091 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

    I didn’t vote, b/c Mr.D doesn’t mind that I talk to other people about our problems.  I once dated a guy who did have a problem with me talking to other people about our problems and it was very isolating for me, so I’m so happy that Mr.D doesn’t make me feel that way. I think it also depends on the problem, some I share with others, but other I don’t.  I haven’t really shared anything with anyone else that’s objected to so far, but I think if i did, I wouldn’t continue to share what upset him.

    Ditto to tessabella, i think WB is prob better than friends or family for a lot of the problems.  Sometimes you just need to vent and you don’t’ want your venting to color your friend’s/family’s perspective.

    Post # 8
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    i say alot of stuff online but its never super sensitive and i never demean or belittle him/his choices-expect for stupid dvd’s that is

    i once got a massive black eye at boxing and i joked online with pics that he gave me the black eye for not having his dinner ready (if you knew the man you would laugh at the thought) and he only had to say once "dont tell people that" and i stopped

    otherwise when we’re talking over dinner i share what i put online and hes happy with it

    Post # 9
    Member
    2324 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    If it would make me feel better, then yes. No matter what he thought I would find somebody to talk to. I don’t think it’s fair to limit my communication if he’s not willing to talk to me about it.

    Post # 11
    Member
    124 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012 - Our backyard!

    I’m on the same boat as D’Orsay. Mr. Candy Corn knows that I need to vent sometimes to friends (even online friends I’ve never met) and he has no problem with it. I am also fine with him talking to his pals (whether online or in person) about any issues we’re having because I think it does help to get perspective from friends and such.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1091 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

    Flamingo, I super duper highly suggest getting a therapist – I’m a firm believer that everyone could use one! Would he not be irritated at that, since it’s that person’s job to listen to you?

    Post # 13
    Member
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2018 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay

    Yes!  I think it is very healthy to talk to others about things that are bothering you.  It is not good to keep it in, and it helps to talk to a third party.  I am also a huge fan of therapy! 

    Post # 14
    Member
    5399 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I have to vent one way or another, but it’s usually to him.  When it’s not to him, I tend to vent on here more than I do to people in our family or with friends, I just feel like it’s more private in a way…weird I know…and the hubby doesn’t really mind either way 🙂  D’Orsay’s suggestion is a great one!  Would your hubby mind if you did that?

    Post # 16
    Member
    117 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Going beyond your question – I don’t intentially do anything that I know will upset or does upset my SO – within reason obviously. (ie big issue things not something trival like don’t cut your hair, etc).

    I would be very angry/upset if he did something he knew would upset me but did it anyway – it doesn’t matter what it is. I view it as respect. If my SO didn’t want me to do X then I would respect him and not do X.

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