(Closed) Do you tell SO's family you love them?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
713 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think you have to do anything that you’re uncomfortable with, but I would give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that if he’s saying it, he means it (or at least has some kind of good intentions/affection for you), despite his awful attitude otherwise. No one in my family says “I love you” to each other; I have a hard time saying it to my own parents! So I wouldn’t worry too much about it– be open to it, but if it just doesn’t feel right, then it doesn’t, and I think that’s ok.

Post # 3
Member
2751 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

My FI’s father has never said it. I’ve never said it to him. My FI’s mother says it to me every time we part from a visit and I say it back. 

Do what makes you comfortable. 

Post # 4
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I do. I care about them more then my own family. For me it’s natural. 

If you don’t want to say it, you don’t have to. 

Post # 5
Member
6297 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
anon22441 : Actually DH’s family says it far more than my family. My family is extreamly close, but was never an “i love you” family all the time. DH’s is, so yes I do say it to them. I genuinely love his family. Sure Mother-In-Law might drive me crazy sometimes but she always means well and truly considers me a daughter. 

Post # 6
Member
876 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

View original reply
anon22441 :  I’m very affectionate, so I do! This is silly, but when I say it to my family or my fiance it’s “I love you”, but to my close friends and my in-laws/nieces/nephews it’s “Love you!” it seems more casual and less intense even though I do love them! Just in a different way. It also basically makes my Fiance cry everytime he hears his family and I say it to eachother, so it’s worth it even to make him happy!

Post # 7
Member
3589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

You don’t have to say it. I don’t say it although I certainly like them a lot. If they say it to you just do a cheery ‘you too!’.

Post # 8
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I told my fiance’s nieces I loved them before I told him I loved him. We were babysitting, and I told them both as I tucked them into bed. I’ve said it to his mom as well, but never his dad (who sounds  like he and your Future Father-In-Law have a lot in common). So far my Future Father-In-Law has never said it to me, though, so I’ve been able to dodge that situation.

Post # 9
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

MY DH’s family all say “I love you” to me but I don’t say it back.

Post # 10
Member
9443 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

My mother in law has started saying “I love you” since the wedding and I actually really hate it because I don’t feel comfortable saying it back at all. I like her and we get along but for whatever reason it makes me uncomfortable. Thankfully, DH has always been there when she says it so he says it back and I just smile or say goodbye or something. If you aren’t comfortable saying something then don’t feel forced to just because someone else does.

Post # 11
Member
2979 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

FIs family doesnt even say it to each other. So they’d probably be incredibly weirded out if I started saying it to them.

My mom/family says it to Fiance, and I think he awkwardly says it back haha. But again hes unused to that ‘fluffy’ type family in general. He wouldn’t just say it on his own.

Post # 12
Member
632 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

You never have to say “I love you” to someone you don’t really love! I say it to my fiancé’s family (his mom and aunts and uncle) but only because I truly do love them. 

Post # 13
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I don’t love them so no I don’t. I hate it when people say love you as a general affectionate term. I have emotionally stunted parents who’ve never told me they love me so I’m pretty much clueless to what normal. 

Post # 14
Member
1733 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t say it. 

Post # 15
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee

Yes I tell my in-laws I love them, it comes naturally. But it’s not about whether strangers online do it or not. If you don’t love him like family, then you don’t have to say it. 

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