Post # 1
I feel bad about it, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I am pretty close with his mom and 2 sisters and with them I can if they say it to me, but like if his dad says it, it just feels wrong and I can’t choke out the words. I usually awkwardly mumble something else like “thanks for visiting” or have a good night” and it makes me feel guilty but I’ve never really been close to or liked his dad very well. He’s nice to me mostly, but he’s totally sexist(any wedding talk is “women’s talk” and he can’t be bothered so he has to make a point of getting up to walk outside, taking FH with him most times) and homophobic (FH and I are straight, but we can’t stand his harsh judgement of others).
Do I have to suck it up and say it at some point? It’s an awkward situation that I’m really uncomfortable with
Post # 2
I don’t think you have to do anything that you’re uncomfortable with, but I would give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that if he’s saying it, he means it (or at least has some kind of good intentions/affection for you), despite his awful attitude otherwise. No one in my family says “I love you” to each other; I have a hard time saying it to my own parents! So I wouldn’t worry too much about it– be open to it, but if it just doesn’t feel right, then it doesn’t, and I think that’s ok.
Post # 3
My FI’s father has never said it. I’ve never said it to him. My FI’s mother says it to me every time we part from a visit and I say it back.
Do what makes you comfortable.
Post # 4
I do. I care about them more then my own family. For me it’s natural.
If you don’t want to say it, you don’t have to.
Post # 5
anon22441 : Actually DH’s family says it far more than my family. My family is extreamly close, but was never an “i love you” family all the time. DH’s is, so yes I do say it to them. I genuinely love his family. Sure Mother-In-Law might drive me crazy sometimes but she always means well and truly considers me a daughter.
Post # 6
anon22441 : I’m very affectionate, so I do! This is silly, but when I say it to my family or my fiance it’s “I love you”, but to my close friends and my in-laws/nieces/nephews it’s “Love you!” it seems more casual and less intense even though I do love them! Just in a different way. It also basically makes my Fiance cry everytime he hears his family and I say it to eachother, so it’s worth it even to make him happy!
Post # 7
You don’t have to say it. I don’t say it although I certainly like them a lot. If they say it to you just do a cheery ‘you too!’.
Post # 8
I told my fiance’s nieces I loved them before I told him I loved him. We were babysitting, and I told them both as I tucked them into bed. I’ve said it to his mom as well, but never his dad (who sounds like he and your Future Father-In-Law have a lot in common). So far my Future Father-In-Law has never said it to me, though, so I’ve been able to dodge that situation.
Post # 9
MY DH’s family all say “I love you” to me but I don’t say it back.
Post # 10
My mother in law has started saying “I love you” since the wedding and I actually really hate it because I don’t feel comfortable saying it back at all. I like her and we get along but for whatever reason it makes me uncomfortable. Thankfully, Darling Husband has always been there when she says it so he says it back and I just smile or say goodbye or something. If you aren’t comfortable saying something then don’t feel forced to just because someone else does.
Post # 11
FIs family doesnt even say it to each other. So they’d probably be incredibly weirded out if I started saying it to them.
My mom/family says it to Fiance, and I think he awkwardly says it back haha. But again hes unused to that ‘fluffy’ type family in general. He wouldn’t just say it on his own.
Post # 12
You never have to say “I love you” to someone you don’t really love! I say it to my fiancé’s family (his mom and aunts and uncle) but only because I truly do love them.
Post # 13
I don’t love them so no I don’t. I hate it when people say love you as a general affectionate term. I have emotionally stunted parents who’ve never told me they love me so I’m pretty much clueless to what normal.
Post # 15
Yes I tell my in-laws I love them, it comes naturally. But it’s not about whether strangers online do it or not. If you don’t love him like family, then you don’t have to say it.