(Closed) Do you tell SO's family you love them?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
302 posts
Helper bee

My SO’s mom sent me a facebook message after we had been dating for 2 years and said “Well talula, I have officially known you for 2 years… time to say it… I love you!”  Which was so weird, like whats with the proclamation? totally uncomfortable and i don’t say it lol.  I will sign cards ‘love, –‘ though

Post # 17
Member
3611 posts
Sugar bee

No, I don’t, because it would feel really weird. I kind of don’t like it when my Mother-In-Law says it to me either. I honestly don’t know her that well (they live in another country and I see them maybe 2x a year), and while it’s a nice sentiment and all, I just don’t see how you can love someone you don’t really know. My Darling Husband wouldn’t say it to my parents either, and I’d never push him or expect it of him.

Post # 18
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I never thought about it but I guess I say “we love you” most of the time meaning myself, Fiance and our kids. That’s what feel right to me. My kids consider his parents to be their grandparents (they were 1 and 3 years old when we started dating). When I get off the phone with his mom or leave their house it’s usually “we love you grandma!”. I don’t think I would every directly say “I love you” to his Dad though. That would be super weird. I do love him though. I love him for raising such a wonderful son and I love him because Fiance loves him.

Post # 20
Member
1600 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My family is huge on I love yous, but they dont say i love you to my dh. If were going on vacation or sometimes at night when im talking to my mom, shell say love you guys. Same with his parents… his mom has said love you guys. but never directly i love you to me, which i prefer. I dont think id be comfortable saying it bac, even though I do really care about them. Its just weird at this point in my life I think.

Post # 21
Member
5089 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

I’m not a very affectionate person in general, aside from with Darling Husband and my dogs. Aside from Darling Husband, I don’t really say I love you a whole lot unless it’s in response to someone else saying it. DH’s family loves to say it and I respond in kind, but I never initiate. 

Post # 22
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

The only one who will say it sometimes is my fiance’s mother – and it’s never usually directly solely at me. If we’ve been with her and we’re leaving, she may say “love you guys”… and I don’t usually say anything back other than “you too.” I, too, am not 100% comfortable saying it and I haven’t ever said it first. His father and brothers have never said it to me, so I mean… it’s just the way it is. I know we all have love for each other without having to say it.

 

Post # 23
Member
2146 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

no… I dont even say it to my family except to my kids (because you want to reinforce their views of being loved and wanted) but I find it something that shouldnt even need saying really

 

I might sometimes sign things ‘love’ or ‘love from’ too though

Post # 24
Member
1272 posts
Bumble bee

I do, but I mean it because I really do love them. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it. Just say “thank you, take care” or something along those lines. It is unlikely you’ll get called out on it, but if you do you can just say “I appreciate your feelings, but I just don’t feel that strongly, yet”.

Post # 25
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

My fiances parents started saying it to me and the first time they did it I was so caught off guard that I didn’t say it back. I think I said, “It was good to see you.” Lol.

I usually say it back to them now, but honestly, it makes me really uncomfortable. I don’t know why. I’m not particularly close to them, so maybe that’s it. Or maybe because they don’t always make me feel very loved, so it doesn’t seem genuine.

I am very close with my parents and we say it regularly, but I’m just not there yet with FI’s parents.

 

Post # 26
Member
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I tell his grandparents and great grandparents I love them all the time. It really just depends on your relationship with them, I wouldn’t force it if it didn’t come naturally.

Post # 27
Member
281 posts
Helper bee

anon22441 :  Great question. In my own family growing up, “I Love You” was barely ever said. We would say it on the rare occasion. Now as adults, my siblings and I are making it a point to say it more often and that’s been working. My family isn’t very physically affectionate so it’s not a normal thing to say it all the time. However, SO’s Mom said it to me for the first time during a face time call we had with her a couple of months ago. I said it back. I do believe she meant it and I thought it was very touching and sweet. I was in shock because that was the first time that has ever happened to me with an SO. I would say though that if you don’t genuinely feel comfortable saying it, then you certainly aren’t obligated to.

Post # 28
Member
1191 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Yep I do, but they’ve been saying things like “love you both!” since we’d only been dating a couple years. If I met them on the street, would I ever grow to truly love them as people? Hard to say… but they are family now, and will be my child’s grandparents (30 weeks pregnant right now) so I love them for all the things they’ve done for me, and will do for my children!

Post # 29
Member
745 posts
Busy bee

Yes I do tell my in laws that I love them. 

Post # 30
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee

anon22441 :  I haven’t and we are already married. However, his family isn’t very affectionate. I have said love you to his sister in law, but his father doesn’t even say it to Darling Husband. So no but it’s just normal for us, doesn’t mean I don’t love them.

The topic ‘Do you tell SO's family you love them?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors