(Closed) Do you tell your spouse?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: You kissed someone else...do you tell your SO?

    Yes, even if I know it meant nothing, honesty is the best policy

    Yes because it probably points to some underlying issues we would need to work on together

    Yes, even if I know it meant nothing, better my spouse hear it from me than someone else

    No because it was probably just a drunken slip signifying nothing

    No because I think my punishment should be to live with the guilt

    Other (explained below)

  • Post # 17
    233 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Yes, i would.

    My partner has the right to make decisions about their life and their relationship based on reality, not a lie. We all  deserve the dignity to be provided with the information necessary to make decisions for ourselves. And therefore, I believe withholding information relevant to a decision a person makes is unethical.


    I certainly don’t think cheating is indicative of marital issues. It’s indicative of a problem with the cheater. There is no such thing as a relationship that is so bad that one is forced to cheat. Cheating happens because it is chosen by the cheater, and presumably it is chosen because it aligns with their personal  values.

    Post # 18
    1183 posts
    Bumble bee

    I could have gone for either of the last 2. Went for the last one in the end.

    Not about taking the moral high ground. Just if I screwed up on a small level that’s mine to deal with. I’d also not expect DH to tell me either.

    Obviously, we’re talking a one off out of the blue thing and it wouldn’t excuse regular screw ups because that’s deliberate. You can’t say oh I’ve done it 6 times and they’re all mistakes. 

    Post # 19
    370 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2020

    Most likely yes, due to my anexity id feel compelled to if they were the opposite sex, same sex we have an agreement that its ok

    Post # 20
    331 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    i would tell my SO even if it just happened. but the way we see it is that we would never let ourselves get in the position where we’ve been drinking alone with someone else. but thats just us,  to each their own

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