Post # 152
in my SOs family, most people have ring around .5 carats. Actually, the biggest one is 5/8 carat. I always wanted a bigger ring, and his family freaked out when they found out we were looking at 2 carats. I think it is a regional thing, as others have said. In the midwest people in my social circle just don’t have big engagement rings. it isn’t even that they don’t have the money for a huge rock most of them actually do. I still want 2 carats though!
Post # 153
” I think every society is a bit judgemental… they just show it in different ways! For example, in the UK, class trumps colour most of the time. If you are middle class and black/Asian/whatever, you automatically have a social advantage which a white person of a lower class does not. Does this mean we are not a racist society? Nope. We just have different standards of judgement (plus, you could argue that non-whites at the very bottom of the class ladder have a very, very tough time indeed). I would also say that the UK is a real melting pot as well… we are a very cosmopolitan people in many ways. Thinking about it, maybe it’s a bit like this:
1. Setting: America. Dave and Christine have just shown off Christine’s engagement ring to a friend. The norm for their area, and their professional status, would be about 1.5 carat, which is the sort of thing all their friends and co-workers have. Christine has a 0.3 carat ring.
Friend says: What a lovely ring!
Friend (subconsciously) thinks: Wow, Dave and Christine must be really struggling financially if they can only afford such a small ring! Maybe they are not careful with their money, and they have got into lots of debt?
2. Setting: UK. Dave and Christine have just shown off Christine’s engagement ring to a friend. The norm for their area, and their professional status, would be about 0.4 carat, which is the sort of thing all their friends and co-workers have. Christine has a 1.6 carat ring.
Friend says: What a lovely ring!
Friend (subconsciously) thinks: Wow, I never realised that Dave and Christine were such footballer’s wives wannabes. Maybe they are just very insecure people who are trying too hard to impress. Anyway, it hasn’t worked.
I think all societies judge… they just judge differently and normalise that judgement so that you don’t even know you are doing it!”
Excellent read and very well written. I quite enjoyed your comparisons!
Post # 154
I voted “big”, but I’d rather say 1 ct is between “average” and “big”. As a child, I remember my dad giving my mom a 1 ct diamond ring for Christmas. My mom was so happy, so I always assumed 1 ct was on the bigger side of average.
I’m from Ohio, but my parents are from New York City (from poorer families than most of the people marrying in NYC today, though – my mom grew up in the projects).
Post # 155
Yes and no….My mom and sister both have rings well over 1 ct, my future in-laws rings are all over 1 ct, but a lot of my friends are under 1 ct, as well as mine.
Personally, because I have super skinny fingers, all the “larger” rings I tried on looked funky. They were too gaudy for my little hands, and that didn’t include the band.
Post # 156
I voted big, but I’m English so I rarely saw rings of this size growing up. It is interesting to note the differences between North American andd English cultures though. I live in Vancouver with my Canadian fiance, but we bought my ering in the UK when we went home to tell my family about our engagement. My ring is 0.5 tcw (I don’t know what size the centre stone is, but it’s a pave setting), and I wear a size 5, or UK size I & 1/2.
Literally the first thing one of my English BM’s said when she saw the ring was ‘Wow, that’s massive!’ Another English family member confessed that he was glad I’d picked something that was ‘in proportion to my hand’, and wasn’t sporting ‘a big ugly rock’. For comparison, among my English set, every engaged/married lady I know that wears an ering has a solitaire with a plain band, so I suppose my pave band looks a little glitzy over there. I one dated an Englishman with very conservative tastes who thought that three stone erings were a bit ‘far out’, even though I think these are actually fairly popular in the UK based on the number of stores that stock them.
When I went back to Canada however, one coworker joked that she needed a microscope to see my ring. A few other women in the office (all in our late twenties/early thirties) got engaged around the same time, and I noticed that my ring is definitely the least prominent of the batch. Not just in terms of stone size – the bands seem thicker and the centre stones are held higher and just seem generally more noticeable. All gorgeous rings, but not something I’ve seen on many English brides.
To each their own. I love my ring, and it’s almost as perfect for me as the man who gave it to me.
Post # 157
@Loribeth: that is really interesting to know that they actually instructed you to show 1ct stones first.
I can’t believe how rude that person was to comment that she needed a microscope to see your ring! omg.
Post # 158
@lilsweetie: This particular coworker has chronic foot-in-mouth syndrome, and is never really satisfied with anything (which only serves to make her unhappy a lot of the time). Needless to say I wasn’t really expecting much from her when I showed her the ring.
After she failed to get a reaction from me, she told me that my ring is very nice, so I think it might actually have been her way of trying to tease me. We normally have some good banter going between us. She’s been nothing but supportive since, so I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt on this one!
Post # 159
- Wedding: September 2013 - Pavilion at Rocky Neck State Park
Where I am in CT it is about average. Around me, we have everything from .5 carats to closer to 3. Personally, I love 1 carats. They are just big enough so they are still sensible for day to day wear. I can’t imagine wear 2.5+ carats day to day
Post # 162
I think 1carat is a lovely size. I wouldnt classify it as too big or too small, or too average. Its just lovely, hah.
However, I’m the first and only one of friends to be engaged, so I dont have anything to compare to. I can see some of my girl friends having very large rings in the future, though, as they live in NYC and they like to flaunt wealth a lot.
Post # 163
I would say average. In my area (Pacific NW) people are quite modest with their fashion choices anyways so even the wealthier people I know still have rings that hover around 1ct… oh except the one friend that’s on a big fat payment plan for a 2ct ring 😉 Where I grew up in California though I’d say 1ct is usually minimum, and 1.5-2 is the more expected size.
Post # 164
I feel like 1 ct. is average. Most girls I know have that.
Post # 165
I would say 1.5-2 is average around here. Not that I consider 1 to be “modest” by any means. I am just used to seeing some pretty huge rocks…