(Closed) Do you think a letter is a bad idea?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@memo:  When do you graduate? Can you work on a timeline with him that is good for both of you? So you don’t have to ‘not know’. I still stand by my advice though. Knock him out of his repose with positive actions! Remind him with actions why you are his one and only and he is lucky to have you! Cause a spike in his heartbeat so he knows he is alive with you! You know what I mean. 🙂  I am not saying you don’t do this now on a regular basis, but sometimes routine becomes invisible, so you need to break out of the routine to help them see you and remember why they want to be with you forever. This spurs action!

Post # 18
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think the problem in all of these situations (which are posted here every. single. day.) is not really one of communication.  I think the problem is deception.  I think that these guys are deceiving you by saying things like “someday” and “soon” and “I want to be in control of it” and “the more you ask the longer I’m going to wait.”  I think it’s manipulative and immature, not to mention untruthful.

The girls are also deceiving themselves.  The guys are saying what they’re saying because A) They hate conflict, hate you being upset and B) They know it’s what you want to hear and you’ll stop talking about it and just roll along with the status quo.

Here’s the thing – I think not being in the same place at the same time in terms of how you see things moving forward is a big problem.  In other words, in a great relationship, people should be ready to move forward at the same pace.

So here’s an idea.  If your SO isn’t ready, go find someone who is.  I’m sure that will be unpopular advice, but these posts just make me so sad.  Stop waiting around.  Go find someone who wants to marry you.

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