Post # 17
@memo: When do you graduate? Can you work on a timeline with him that is good for both of you? So you don’t have to ‘not know’. I still stand by my advice though. Knock him out of his repose with positive actions! Remind him with actions why you are his one and only and he is lucky to have you! Cause a spike in his heartbeat so he knows he is alive with you! You know what I mean. 🙂 I am not saying you don’t do this now on a regular basis, but sometimes routine becomes invisible, so you need to break out of the routine to help them see you and remember why they want to be with you forever. This spurs action!
Post # 18
I think the problem in all of these situations (which are posted here every. single. day.) is not really one of communication. I think the problem is deception. I think that these guys are deceiving you by saying things like “someday” and “soon” and “I want to be in control of it” and “the more you ask the longer I’m going to wait.” I think it’s manipulative and immature, not to mention untruthful.
The girls are also deceiving themselves. The guys are saying what they’re saying because A) They hate conflict, hate you being upset and B) They know it’s what you want to hear and you’ll stop talking about it and just roll along with the status quo.
Here’s the thing – I think not being in the same place at the same time in terms of how you see things moving forward is a big problem. In other words, in a great relationship, people should be ready to move forward at the same pace.
So here’s an idea. If your SO isn’t ready, go find someone who is. I’m sure that will be unpopular advice, but these posts just make me so sad. Stop waiting around. Go find someone who wants to marry you.
Post # 19
@jessiebean: I actually just started a 4 year program, so I have 3.5 years left! Yikes! He doesn’t want to talk timelines lol. He REALLY wants to surprise me. He did, however, say that while I’m in school, I WILL be engaged. I’ll take your advice for sure though! Things do become routein after 5 years. 🙂 thanks for the advice
@oneofthesethings: I appreciate the advice, but I’m really not in the situation of wanting to walk away. I do see your point that people should move at the same place, though. I truly do love him and believe he’s the one for me. I believe him when he says he wants to marry me. He’s told me he wouldn’t be with me if he didn’t see marriage in our future because he knows how important it is to me.
I think I’ve kinda done this mess to myself by going back to school. I think we’d be in a different situation if I didn’t (have more money and not living with my mom). It’s just hard when we both have different opinions on where we want to be when we’re married.