(Closed) Do you think DH's female friend has feelings for DH?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Do you think DH's female friend has feelings for him?
    No : (17 votes)
    30 %
    Yes : (40 votes)
    70 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3943 posts
    Honey bee

    Did your friends know you were eloping? If I found this out from a good friend via email I would probably be a little shocked at first. Not saying I wouldn’t be happy, I would probably just take a little bit to get my thoughts together before replying.

    She could just be a little jealous? She is single and wants the marriage thing, so maybe she is feeling a bit bummed? who knows. I wouldnt think to much of it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Bostongrl25:  i was wondering if they knew about the elopment as well. if i had alongtime, very close friend just run off and elope without saying anything i might be a little hurt … especially if other friends were invited to be present. i would need a bit to let that feeling happen and then move on to the congrats.

    OP, is she a girl that is normally gushy and into weddings/rings etc? i have a few friends who want marriage, etc that didnt give 2 craps about my engagement ring. thats just not something they value and therefore they never asked to see it.

    Post # 5
    Member
    576 posts
    Busy bee

    I agree with PP. It may just be the shock of your elopement. Give it a little while and then see what she says.

    She may also be a little envious of your situation, newly married to a great guy (obvioulsy she thinks that he’s a great guy if they’ve been friends for so long). It can be hard not to be a little bummed out when your friends have what you desperately want. 

    As far as her having feelings for your husband…have you ever talked to your husband about it? Gotten his opinion about it? I always say trust your instincts but I’m not sure in your particular situation. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    9690 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @nickels:   Since she’s never done anything inappropriate, maybe she’s happy for both of you, but a little sad for herself.  I wouldn’t read too much into it.

    Post # 7
    Member
    6256 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I know for a fact that one of FI’s female friends has feelings for him. But it’s not for me to tell him who to be friends with. Also, they knew one another long before I came along, so I don’t really worry about him–he had his chance, and if he had wanted to be with her, he would have.

    That may be the case with this female friend. If she’s perpetually single, and they’ve known one another for awhile, there’s doubtless been a time when they were both single. I think if she was anyone he could have been interested in, he would have pursued her.

    People can’t help their feelings, but they can help their actions. It sounds like she’s being appropriate and not attempting to get something started. I’d keep a bit of an eye on her to make sure it stays that way, but aside from that I don’t think she’s doing anything wrong or that you have any reason to worry.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2125 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Yeah, her response makes me feel like she may be a combination of jealous and hurt. Jealous that you’re engaged and married to a great guy and hurt that you didn’t tell her you were married until after you eloped. Though you didn’t do it TO hurt her, she may be taking it personally.

    Nothing in that story screamed “SHE HAS FEELINGS FOR HIM!” at me, so I would try really hard not to read toooo much into it, though I know it might be hard, because her silence and lack of enthusiasm is probably hurtful to you. But just try to cut her some slack, because she is probably feeling really left out.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @nickels:  LOL girl please. You are considering not talking about your wedding because you are concerned with the feelings of a friend who might have a crush on your husband.

    You are very kind.

    Seriously, though, don’t worry about it! Its your wedding! If she’s a good friend, she’ll suck it up and be happy for you. People elope all the time and thats their business. If she’s upset about that, then explain why you wanted something very small and if your friends are up for it, maybe throw a dinner party later on with just this small group to celebrate?

    Post # 12
    Member
    1342 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    What does your Darling Husband think about it?

     

    Regardless of if she does or does not (and my guess is, she does), I guess I’d just more take pity on her (pity not being the right word, I just can’t think of the right word) that she’s spending time focusing on that instead of herself and her own future.  I’d keep my eye on it but always strive to be the bigger and classier person.

    Post # 13
    Member
    5958 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    …all of this from an unreplied e-mail?  Why not just ask her?

    Post # 14
    Member
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @Roe:  +1

    Seriously @nickels:  gush about your wedding!  It was YOUR WEDDING!!! You’re absolutley allowed to talk about it and be excited!

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