(Closed) Do you think friends/family are usually right about SO?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Who had the better insight?

    The girl knew her SO best, and ended up happy

    The relationship ended, to everyone's satisfaction

    Other

  • Post # 32
    Member
    1310 posts
    Bumble bee

    From witnessing relationships in my family and friends, I think it’s about 50/50 because some people just have stronger intuition than others, and some people can prove themselves with time.

    I take what others say with a grain of salt and listen to myself the most, because SO is only the way he is – the way I love him most – around me.  No one gets to see all the little ways he’s wonderful.  I also tend to be a complainer and I learned the hard way that can colour how your friends/family see him without the benefit of accessing the best side of him.  Plus no one else knows as much as I do about our relationship, so no one has the whole picture but me. 

    With regards to friends, I have a good friend who has complained about EVERY SINGLE FRIEND’S BOYFRIEND except one.  Her friends can always do better, she always feels they are settling, no one is ever good enough.  I disagree with her at least half the time.  I think/hope it’s at least partly due to the same kind of affection that parents feel – “No one’s good enough for my kid/friend because (s)he is WONDERFUL!”.

    Post # 33
    Member
    481 posts
    Helper bee

    Mama knows best.

    Post # 34
    Member
    6738 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    No man will EVER be good enough for me according to my dad. He hates everyone for me. He likes my Fiance, as a person, but prefers I would marry someone else, not that he has someone else for me, just some nonexistent perfect, rich man who will sweep me off my feet type of ideal man. He once told me Prince William wouldn’t be good enough for me.

    All my friends like my Fiance, so at least there’s that.

    Most of my friends hated my ex, except lilke 2, and we ended up breaking up for reasons completely unrelated to why they hated him (he wasn’t very social and would stay quiet the entire time anyone was around – I didn’t end the relationship because of that though). So, they weren’t “right” about him necessarily. I mean, they were right about how he shut down and was antisocial, but that wasn’t a dealbreaker for me.

    The one ex I wish everyone had tried not to get me to date, no one saw anything wrong with him and I didn’t even realize all the fkd up that relationship was until more recently.

    So I have no idea how to answer your question. I never try to judge a relationship because I’m not in it and I don’t know.

    Post # 35
    Member
    1540 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    My “ex” bestfriend thought that Fiance was dating me as a “rebound” well…..6.5 years later and we’re still together! lol “ex bestfriend” for a reason!

    My family has never said anything about my SO’s but I have some stories about other people.

    My brother’s bestfriend got married to a girl no one really liked. She is pretty controlling and their friendship has suffered because he isn’t aloud to hang out very much. well, they’ve been together for 9 years now.

    My step sister got married after spending 3 weeks total with this guy. She met him online-flew to his place for 2 weeks and came back engaged- he came here for 1 week over xmas- they got married a few months later. The whole family was very uncomfortable with them getting married, and that she was moving to a different country, so if something went wrong, no one would be there with her. They’ve now been married 4 years and things seem to be going well!

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