- 4 years ago
Long time lurker, first time poster… About two months ago I met this guy on a trip, we hit it off really well, but after a week he went back home and so did I, however, we stayed in touch. When we first started talking he told me that he lived with his ex-gf because they had a house together and that neither was willing to move out. Weird, but I’ve heard and seen weirder. Well, when I added him to Facebook it showed that he was in a relationship. I asked him why, and he said it was to keep his other ex-gf from gloating because she just got engaged. Okay, I could understand that. Anway, time goes on and he and I talk ALL the time. He has tried, a bit more than what I consider a comfortable amount, to try and get my to cyber with him/have phone sex, but uhm, that’s not really my thing so I keep putting him off and telling him no. Eventually he said “Its okay, we don’t have to do anything.”
So about a month ago he told me that he loved me, and that he would always be there for me, and that he’s never felt about another girl this way. I can’t lie, it made me feel SUPER special. From our talks, he has had a rough time with women in the past. I guess he made a bad choice a while back and got involved with a married woman, and that she ended up leaving her husband, and he proposed, she said no – then after they broke up (6 months ago according to him) she started dating someone new and is now engaged to him. But his timeline doesn’t add up, so the girl he lives with is his ex, but from how long ago I don’t know exactly. The number changes from 5 years, to 3 years, and then he says he was with the married woman for 2 years, but when I asked how long she was married he said that she was only married for 5 months, and he had previously stated that he started dating her when she was married. I told myself it was very possible he is just really bad with time or was lying about the timelines to make me feel sorry for him and like he had a hard life. He just turned 27, by the way.
He and I are not dating, let me say that again, we are NOT dating, but I mean I was considering it. I’m not tied to my area and have moved all over the country on my own (for reasons as simple as I found a pretty house to rent with a pretty view – I just like to travel and move around) so I was going to move to his state if we decided to start a relationship – but not before. Well, since things were good I just kind of let the things that didn’t add up go. I still like our conversations, as friends, so even if no romantic relationship came from it, I would still like to be friends with him – I would just ignore the weird relationship timelines.
But what really made me start to question things was that he said he was going on a business trip to help his dad and that his dad had put him up in a really sweet hotel room. When he got there he sent me a picture and on the couch was a beach bag and a purse. Shortly after he sent the picture he sent a message saying that was his stuff for his things (weird, and I am not really certain I believe him on that) but in the mirror was this girl looking out the window. When I asked, he said she was a hotel maid. I am thinking it might be his sister, but if so, why wouldn’t he just tell me that. He says I am the only one for him, but I am not sure I trust him. He has asked me if I trust him, and I say yes, but now I am not so sure.
I have a paranoid type personality, so sometimes it is hard for me to trust my gut… Anyway, what do you ladies think? If you think he is lying how should I handle it? Call him out? Just tell him that all I want is friendship? I don’t want to hurt him because it sounds like he has been hurt by girls in the past, but at this point I just can’t see myself having a romantic relationship with him. He got me in to a video game that I really love playing, so when we’re on, we’re usually playing together. So I can’t really just avoid him unless I give up something I now enjoy. So. Thanks in advance for the advice…
Oh and PS, I was on his FB and his mom posted on his timeline that she, he, and his ex all went to see a movie together not but 2 weeks ago. I find it weird that they all hang out together because he talks like he really hates his ex (the one he lives with). Part of me wonders if they are actually together or maybe just on and off again…