(Closed) Do you think I should tell my dad not to bring this woman to the wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Bubu82: Is he paying for anything? If not, I would say tell your father no. If this woman is continually doing things that antagonize your family what makes you think she won’t start trouble at the wedding? Especially seated at a table with your FI’s parents. Save yourself the stress Bubu.

Post # 5
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would allow him to bring her.  She is your father’s guest even though she’s a cancer for him.  Your father deserves to see his daughter marry.  I would just make sure that she isn’t in any of the family photos(cause she’s not family) and they are seated @ a different table.

My father and I were barely on speaking terms when I got married.  My first inclination was not to invite him but my Mom wouldn’t have it.  And I’m glad she made me.  Even after a decade of my avoiding him, it meant alot to have my family there on my special day.  He even learned some Act Right and didn’t cause one scene @ my wedding.  My Grandma decided to take that role instead.lmao

I know she’s a cancer and no one likes her, but you will regret not having your Dad there to help celebrate such a beautiful meaningful moment.

Post # 6
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You might regret if this cause him to not show up to your wedding, so maybe you can talk to him beforehand and say you are not comfortable with her being in pictures? At least let him know how you feel and be honest…and see if it cause him to either leave her at home OR at least agree to not put her in pictures. That would be a big one for me, too. yikes.

Post # 7
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think you should let him bring her.  They’ve been dating for 5 years and I do think the father of the bride deserves a guest.

Even though you all know she’s awful for him, he obviously cares about her and I don’t think you should tell him he can’t bring her.

Post # 8
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

What do you hope to accomplish by not inviting her? It will not make him stop being around her or appease your family in the long run. If your mom and other family members get +1s that you/they approve of, I don’t think its fair that he can’t bring someone just because you/they don’t approve of her (even though she’s toxic, which sucks).

I would have a serious discussion with your father if you really feel strongly about it (and not just the wedding, but how he’s changed). Even though your mom is paying for part of the wedding, she’s not paying for the whole thing, and ultimately it’s up to you, not her or your sis. I would make your decision based on that and your relationship with your dad.

I am sorry someone like this is in his life. I have family members who are toxic, and it’s difficult to be around them, so I can sympathize.

Post # 9
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Not allowing him to bring a date would probably offend him and run the risk of him not showing up. Although she may be a horrible influence in your Father’s life. For some reason he wants her there. Whether it be for support or his designated driver. I would just avoid the drama by allowing her to come and seating your parents at separate tables. Maybe seat him with his side of the family if he has any attending.

You’re probably on point with who his +1 is but and until you know for sure he’s bringing this woman, I wouldn’t jump no it until you know for sure. Doesn’t hurt to ask. He is your Father afterall.

Post # 10
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Have you already talked to him about how you think she is a negative influence? In my opinion, you get one chance to make your case about something like that and then you might as well never bring it up/try to force the issue again, because the only person who can decide that this woman is no good for your dad is your dad, ultimately.

By refusing to let him invite her you’re just going to make him angry. If you think it’s worth it to make your dad angry so our mom can be happy, then by all means. I don’t think it’s worth it though even if she does end up in some of the family photos.

Post # 11
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Do you think he would not come if she wasn’t invited? I wouldn’t want to invite her, but if you would regret your dad not being there, then maybe you should invite her.

I think your mom is being awesome btw, by not making this anyone else’s decision but yours and FIs

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