(Closed) Do you think I will be judged? Larger stone..

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 17
Member
876 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Jav4491:  People will always judge something! My ring center stone is 2 carats and its beautiful and I love it. My husband spent a lot of money on it but that was important to him, he wanted something beautiful we could pass down to a grand son. He searched for the perfect diamond and put a lot of thought and love into it. I get a ton of comments ab it but so what? Its beautiful!

Post # 18
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada

Well first of all congratulations on your upcoming engagment! How exciting!

 I have a 2.5ct diamond solitaire engagement ring and I live in the UK where smaller rings tend to be the norml (Like 0.5ct or less is most common) and I was really worried about this too when we first got engaged. But honestly, it is absolutely fine! Sure to start with everyone will ask to see your ring and be a like “Whoooah – what a rock!!” but after a few weeks it dies down and then people hardly notice and you will get used to it and it won’t bother you at all.

Sure, some people will judge you,  but that will happen no matter what ring you get whether it is diamond, non diamond, small, large etc. That is completely unavoidable so I say accept this amazing gift from your fiancee and embrace what it stands for – your relationship, the love you share and the promise you will make to each other.

At the end of the day people that truly care about you will be super happy for you and the only person that has to love your ring is you.

Post # 19
Member
12246 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Jav4491:  I wouldn’t worry! I’ve never gotten anything but compliments on my big-ass rock, and we’re very close to the same age! (assuming 4/4/91 is your birthday?)

Post # 20
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Hey I’m in the same boat as you. Me and my boyfriend have been toether for 2 years and living together 1 1/2. We also have a 15 year age difference him being 40 and me being 25 (He looks and acts like he is in his early 30’s but still a big age diff).We have been talking about getting married for the last few months and I also just picked out my setting. He is going to propose soon but wants it to be a surprise. My ring is going to be a 2 Ct Pear Shaped Blue Diamond in a Tacori Setting and I tried on a similar ring (My Setting is Custom) and thought it looked huge. I think I will get used to it…he was considering getting me a 3 Ct but thought it would look way too big on my hands. I can’t wait to get it and get married but I understand how you feel. My one friend just got married and she has a smaller Diamond in a plain setting so Im worried about what she would think but at the end of the day I don’t care. Just enjoy getting engaged and be happy. No matter where you go people will judge you. I get judged alot because of my and my BF’s Age difference and we are also a mixed couple ( Me being white and Him Black) We are both very successful and intelligent in our lives and careers but still get judged. Just be happy and enjoy the ride.

 

Oh here is a pic of my setting…imagine it with a 2 Ct Blue Diamond. Take Care!

 

2620PS10X7P

Post # 21
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@littlemisschef18:  jesus a 2ct blue diamond!? Post that baby when you get it- thats gotta be over $100k! Where is he even getting it?! Someone in FIs family loves colored diamonds and has had a hell of a time finding them!

Post # 22
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Jav4491:  Based on your age I think a lot of people will assume your ring is a cz/moissanite/simulant. But even if they do or don’t, it’s really none of their business so you shouldn’t worry about it. Most everyone gets some type of judgement – their ring is either too big or too small based on someone else’s totally arbitrary criteria or personal issues. Don’t sweat it.

Post # 23
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I am currently furthering my education and career and feel so confident wearing my ring while on campus! I cannot help but think when I catch people gazing at my ring , “yes, I am one lucky girl”……”and he is handsome and successful”!! People where I live tend to chose the 70+ year old men whom have money lol!!

Congrats on finding the love of your life and the perfect ring!!

Post # 24
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m 25 and my stone is 2 carats with 1.5 in pave around it. My ring finger is a size 4.25 and I’m very petite, so the ring definitely looks its size. I was still a law student when I got engaged. I have never had anyone judge me for my ring, unless they do it secretly. Everyone just compliments it, from my friends to the male security guard at the courthouse. If people are mean or judgmental, they don’t deserve you in their life! They should be happy for you and if they aren’t, it’s jealousy.

Post # 25
Member
2837 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Jav4491:  too big, people judge.  too small, people judge.  just wear whatever YOU’RE comfortable with.  I would think practical- are you someone who wants to wear your ring everyday- or are you someone who will take it off often?

What’s your lifestyle like?  I love my ring very much- but all the said and done- the reason I ended up with this one is because:  I knew I wanted to wear my ring everyday/night-never take it off.  I already have a 5 year old- so my hands are needed for many tasks. I’m also a klutz.  And also- I LOVE wearing knit sweaters/cover-ups- even in the summer- so I was not into something that was going to snag a ton for not only the safety of my ring- but also the safetly of my clothes!  So I have a bezel setting- and even THAT gets snagged sometimes on looser knit items LOL

I know some people want big and shiny with a million diamonds everywhere- it’s wasy to want that!!  I wanted a halo setting at first- and we even ordered it.  But I realied it likely was going to need stone replacement semi-often with my lifestyle.  

Just make sure YOU’RE comfortable with a 2ct diamond.  Then go for it.

Post # 26
Member
4998 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Nah, especially if you live in CA. I saw a woman with at least 3 carats the other day and I didn’t judge her! Coming from Southern California, I actually notice people with really small diamonds more than really big since it’s just what I’m used to! Mine’s 1.5 with 0.3 side stones and I’ve never even gotten an evil eye (even now living in NC).

Post # 27
Member
2734 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I understand your concerns. Myself, I am not comfortable with large stones. I do find them incredibly beautiful though 😉 I tried to wear a 2.5 ct cz ring for a day (for fun) and I was really uncomfortable. Of course I might have gotten used to it in time. I went for a large vintage design ring with a composite of stones and that is what I am truly comfortable with. But you better believe other women judge anyway. But I am confident with my ring, so I brush it off. 

You would be judged for sure with a 2 ct stone, unfortunately. What can help is understanding what triggers the judgment, such as jealousy, envy. Too bad it happens but such is human nature. I’m sure you’re tough enough by having to brush off other possible judgments on your 10 year difference with your bf. 

Enjoy your ring!!!

Ring I wasn’t comfortable with:

My e-ring!!:

Post # 28
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Be proud of it! People will always judge.

 

Here’s mine 🙂

Post # 29
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

My ring is bigger (2 ct center stone and it has a halo) and it made me super self-consious at first (especially because I was still in school),  but I’ve always LOVED it and honestly people hardly ever say anything about it! 

Post # 30
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Mine gets attention…I feel strange when people ask the cost or how many carats. I just say I don’t know. 

 

Post # 31
Member
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You asked if you’ll be judged in your cirsumstances? Honest and simple answer: YUP.

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