Do you think it's disrespectful to call your in-laws by their first names?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Is it disrespectful to call your in-laws by their first names?
    Yes : (15 votes)
    5 %
    No : (258 votes)
    89 %
    Other (explain below) : (17 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    5206 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Bichon Frise:  I think it’s ok if that’s how they prefer to be addressed. I call my ILs Mumma and Pops because my parents are Mom and Dad.

    Post # 3
    Member
    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    It depends on the family and culture IMO. Neither my husband nor my BIL would ever call my Korean parents by their first name. 

    My in laws are caucasian and they have insisted from the beginning that I call them by their first names. Never called them mr. and mrs. Took me a while to get used to it but now that’s what i call them. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1048 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Not necessarily, but it depends on the in laws. It’s certainly a cultural thing as well. My DH is Indian and in his culture it’s very disrespectful to call an elder by their first name – instead you would say Auntie or Uncle. So I wouldn’t call my FIL by his first name. But my parents are very happy to be called by their first names which made my DH feel very uncomfortable initially. 

     

    I think the best thing to do is ask your in laws what they would like you to call them, and work with that. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    2363 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    Bichon Frise:  I have literally no idea what to call my FMIL. In a group convo I referred to her by her first name because she was part of the conversation and I felt stupid calling her FI’s mom. LOL

    Post # 6
    Member
    51 posts
    Worker bee

    I call them by there first name…it’s what I’m comfortable with and they are ok with it.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1032 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I call my in-laws by their first names. It was weird at first, but they asked me to. I don’t see myself calling them “mom” or “dad” or any variation of that because I’m extremely close to my parents. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    771 posts
    Busy bee

    I do not think so but it depends what type of people they are. Initially I called them by their first name but they’ve asked me if I felt comfortable to call them Dad/Mom (I call my mom mammina or mami)

    Post # 9
    Member
    7990 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I call them by their first names. MIL did inform me that I was free to call her whatever I wanted though (hint hint call me mom—not happening lady, sorry!).

    Post # 10
    Member
    7816 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I’ll probably end up calling my in-laws mom and dad once we’re married, but hopefully, they will clue me in to what they prefer. It’s personal preference as to whether or not people prefer being called their first names. When I see them now, I’m still not exactly sure what to call them, so I avoid naming when possible and call FFIL “sir.”

    Post # 11
    Member
    7252 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Not at all.

    I always call them by their first names. It would be strange for me to call them any sort of variation on “mom” and “dad” — we are not close enough for that, but even if we were, I don’t know that I’d feel comfortable doing so. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    3072 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Bichon Frise:  I also agree its kind of culture specific. I would NEVER call them mom and dad or any variation of it. I don’t care what they prefer. That sounds/feels SO weird to me. I didnt meet them until I was a grown ass adult they are not my parents lol.

    I call them by their first names now since we were married/engaged. I called them Mr and MRs DH until a little while after we were engaged bc i felt weird being so so formal to people who are now family. 

     If they don’t like being refered to by their first names ill call them mrs and mrs DHlastname again before I would ever call them mom and dad

    Ill call them gma and gpa of course when the time comes for kids.

     

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    2709 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Bichon Frise:  For me personally, I’ve never called my in-laws Mr. or Mrs. But, we’re also not over formal people.

    Post # 14
    Member
    7200 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I try not to call them anything.  But if I had to, I’d use their first name.

    Post # 15
    Member
    7656 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    It’s whatever feels comfortable to you. I don’t feel that by using their first names is disrespectful.

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