(Closed) Do you think it's disrespectful to call your in-laws by their first names?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Is it disrespectful to call your in-laws by their first names?
    Yes : (15 votes)
    5 %
    No : (258 votes)
    89 %
    Other (explain below) : (17 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 61
    2969 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I call them by their first names.  FI calls my mom by her first name. 

    My mom calls my dad’s parents “Mom” and “Dad”

    My dad called my mom’s parents by their first name. 


    Post # 62
    231 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I said ‘no’. I call mine by their first names. Mr and Mrs X is too formal, they’re close family!

    my inlaws are very friendly. Maybe if yours are more uptight… dont know

    My husband suggested mom and dad. ahhh… NO! they’re not my mom and dad. lets make that clear

    Post # 63
    2022 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2016


    Bichon Frise:  Call them by what they ask you to call them. Not sure how that can be disrespectful.

    Post # 64
    11520 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Bichon Frise:  I think you should call them what they want to be called – BUT i would be weird calling them mom & dad (I have friends who do this with their in-laws).  Most of my friends parents have had me call them by their first names my whole life so I’m just comfortable with it.  DH’s grandparents…that I’m not sure.  No one has ever told me what to call them, so I just do my best to avoid addressing them by name :/

    Post # 65
    4521 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I use their first names – it’s very normal for me to call friend’s parents by their first names, as well, although I always err on the side of politeness upon first meeting and use Mrs./Mr. – they usually just say “Oh, call me…” I knew DH’s mom slightly before we really became a couple, so I already called her by her first name at that point, and it just sort of flowed naturally to the same with his father.

    If Darling Husband uses any name, it’s my parents’ first names, but he has a habit of avoiding calling people anything when he addresses them. It used to drive me insane, but I’m used to it by now. I think I’ve heard only him use my name when addressing me a handful of times over 12+ years! 


    Post # 66
    589 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I usually don’t call my in-laws anything lol When I do need to address them I use their first names. I think it would be weird calling my mother in law Mrs. *insert last name here* when I’m also going to be Mrs. *insert last name here* lol I may eventually call Mother-In-Law Mom but I think it would be really weird to call Father-In-Law Dad (just because of my relationship with them). 

    I do call FI’s grandparents & great grandparents gramma, nonno & nonna though because using their first names would be a little uncomfortable for me. 

    Post # 67
    732 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Quite the opposite. I would actually feel that I’m being disrespectful to my parents by calling my ILs names which are reserved for those people who raise you. I would never call them Mr./Mrs. and they would probably feel super uncomfortable if I did. I do believe it’s cultural and therefore all relative, but that’s the way it works in my modern, Northern Californian culture.

    Post # 68
    4891 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Bichon Frise:  I call my in-laws by their first names. Heck, even Darling Husband and his siblings call their parents by their first names (and even his dad with a nickname)… so it’s not uncommon at all.

    Post # 69
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’d call my inlaws what they prefer to be called, but draw the line at mom and dad, or any variation thereof.

    Post # 70
    2633 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Bichon Frise:  Well i’m not calling them mom and dad, or any other alternative (my husband is upset about this). My Mother-In-Law doesn’t like me calling her Mrs.So&SO…but I do anyways because she never game me permission to use her first name. Most of the time I advoid calling her by anything because it’s been a issue since I started dating my hubby. I think she wants em to call her mom, but I refuse. 

    Post # 71
    747 posts
    Busy bee

    I think it depends on culture as well.  They INSIST that I call them K and D but just from what I’m used to I cant help but call them Mrs. K and Mr. D.

    Post # 72
    188 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I call my SOs parents mom and dad. I call my parents mom and dad. *Shrug*  hubby calls my parents by first name and his parents mom and dad  *shrug* to each their own 

    Post # 73
    7371 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Whatever they or you feel comfortable with. I dont’ think there is set “right” answer. 

    Post # 74
    12294 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    IMO the poll results would have been more interesting  if the question was  “Do you think it’s disrespectful to call your in-laws by their first names if they prefer something else?  If they prefer Mom and Dad? 


    Post # 75
    2523 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I don’t think so.  That is what I call them.  Mom and Dad feels weird to me because my mom and dad are mom and dad.  Mr. and Mrs. so and so feels weird too because first that seems very distant, and secondly that is what me and my husband are.  I will admit, I try to use their names minimally as they have never really addressed what to call them with me, and when talking about them to my friends or family I often catch myself referring to them as “my husband’s mom and dad”.   

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