(Closed) do you think its rude to ask the bridesmaids to pay for a dress, makeup, hair?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: do you think its rude to ask the bridesmaids to pay for a dress?
    yes, it is rude : (19 votes)
    19 %
    no, it isn't rude : (82 votes)
    81 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5295 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1993

    Mine paid for their dress and any alterations. I paid for jewelry, hair, and makeup. Shoes were up to them – I just asked that they be silver, not sure if anyone had to go buy a pair.

    I should add, hair and makeup was optional – I did have one turn it down.

    Post # 4
    Member
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I don’t think it’s rude. I feel like if they “accept” to being your bridesmaid, they are aware that they will have to buy a dress and pay for a few things. I think it’s best to find a dress within all their budgets- or pay the extra if you find a more expensive one.

    The makeup & hair… I’m not so sure about. I’m going to be paying for one of them for my bridesmaids and am hoping/assuming they will pay for the other.

    Post # 5
    Member
    891 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think it’s rude to mandate hair and makeup it and not pay for it. My girls are paying for their flights and dresses and alterations. I don’t care about what shoes they wear, the dresses are floor length. I’m paying for their hair. If they decide to get makeup done, it’s at their expense, but it certainly isn’t required. I’m covering the cost of their lodging and we’re splitting the cost of rental cars.

    Post # 6
    Member
    10366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I say it’s pretty much par for the course. I think it’d be nice if you gave the option to not get hair and makeup done. But if it was required, I wouldn’t be surprised!

    Post # 7
    Member
    1733 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would not ask for them to pay to get their hair and makeup done! Some girls are really good at doing their own.  Give them an option of whether they want to or not.

    Post # 8
    Member
    526 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @hisgoosiegirl:  Ditto.

     

    I think it’s understood that bridesmaids will pay for their own dresses and probably their shoes.  They agree to that when they agree to be bridesmaids.  I think it’s the bride’s responsibility to cover any additional costs, like if you’re asking them to have their hair or make-up professionally done, or if you have matching jewelry you want them to wear. I also think it’s polite of the bride to pick a reasonably priced dress, based on the economic situations of the bridesmaids.  

    Post # 9
    Member
    2281 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Dress? no. It’s nice, though, to keep in mind their financial situation and not choose a dress that will bankrupt them (I’m remembering a dress I wore as a bridesmaid years ago that was terribly expensive and I had to lean on my parents to buy it for me – embarrassing). 

    But make-up, hair, jewelry is too much to ask of them. If you have certain specifications that they all have to conform to (and I include shoes in that), it’s on the bride to provide those things. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    8614 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    In my experience the Bridesmaid or Best Man is responsible for paying for the dress, and it is up to her if she would like to pay for professional hair and makeup. I think it is rather rude to require her to pay for those services, IMO. I’m going to be paying for my BM’s hair as part of their gift.

    Post # 11
    Member
    13251 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think it’s rude to force them to pay for hair and makeup.  I think you should give them the option to get it professionally done, but I don’t think you can force that on them.  One of my BMs has really short hair, what do I do, tell her to pay $85 for them to comb her hair?  I don’t think so.

    The BMs are responsible for buying their dresses and shoes.  Other than that, no expense should be required of them, 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I didn’t vote because I think it really depends. I think if you have very specific hair/make-up requirements then you should pay that part unless they offer. As long as the dress/shoes are reasonable I think it’s normal that the bridesmaids pay for their own. Knowing mine who don’t work for school and medical reasons, I won’t be asking them to pay (they’ve said they will give me what they can and maybe buy their shoes) but I’m making the dresses myself, buying the jewelry (found cute stuff @ 3/$15 and I have 3 bridesmaids! lucky!) and will make some hair accessories they can pick from. For make-up I’ll only ask they keep it simple and hair will be pulled back or up, very simple and easy to do. So…I guess no, it’s generally accepted that bridesmaids buy their own stuff but you know your girls and I don’t! 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    5371 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

    I don’t think asking them to pay for things is rude, I think demanding that they buy a dress or shoes outside of their budget is rude.

    My girls are fine paying for their dresses (up to a certain point, but if we find a dress that is perfect but a bit more than their budgets I’m happy to chip in) and shoes. The ‘extras’ like hair/makeup I’ll be paying for. What is reasonable to ask for depends entirely on each bridesmaids budget (:

    Post # 14
    Member
    7291 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I assume I will be buying a dress, and partcipating in showers, b-parties, etc if I am local. I have seen most brides  pay for hair and makeup if they are requireing it.

     

    For my wedding, I lived far away from all my BM’s so I was a total minimalist. NO shower, no bachelorette party, no makeup or hair requirements etc. the only thing was a dress and you could buy it form any where and any style as long as it was in a particular color range. so basically a thrift store, walmart, jcpenny, forever 21 any old place was fine. I really just wanted them to show up and stand with me on my day!

    Post # 15
    Member
    550 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    If you gave them the option to do their own hair and makeup but they decide to go to a salon then no you shouldn’t have to pay. If you have specifics for them then I think you should partially pick up the cost.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3718 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    If they can afford it (and you’ve checked with each of them individually, it is fine. For hair and makeup, it depends on the bridesmaids. If they are able to do their own and it looks nice, I don’t think you need to make them get it done professionally. However, I do think it is totally within your scope to say you want their hair up in a simple updo or half-up or whatever.

    However, my grandmother told me that it was incredibly rude to dictate what dress they wore (and make them pay for it– mind you, it is less $100 and can totally be re-worn again) and to ask them to have professional hair and make-up (I am paying). She views that you should allow them to wear something they have or to each pick whatever dress they want. You should also have them do their own hair and makeup. I told her I am happy being a bridezilla and dictating the dress, how they are wearing their hair, and the style of their makeup.

    The topic ‘do you think its rude to ask the bridesmaids to pay for a dress, makeup, hair?’ is closed to new replies.

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