(Closed) Do you think “looks” play a part in how we judge people/our future SOs?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you think "looks" play a part in how we judge people/our future SOs?
    Yes completely! : (76 votes)
    70 %
    No not at all! : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Sometimes... : (32 votes)
    29 %
    Other - Please explain : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Of course looks play a role…they help form our first impressions of everyone we meet. I don’t think it’s shallow either… I think it’s normal. I would have been much less likely to talk to Darling Husband when I first met him if he hadn’t been what I viewed as handsome or appropriately dressed, etc.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think in plays a role in some situations (like the study you described) but in others, not so much.  Darling Husband is definitely not sterotypically handsome and his looks had nothing to do with why I was drawn to him.  We started out as friends, became really good friends, and then started dating.  But none of it was due to me finding him attractive or handsome – that came with time.  It was the personality that drew me in.

    Obviously if he was a disheveled mess I may not have given the personality a chance, but it doesn’t require someone to be “attractive” for me to show an interest.

    I now think that Darling Husband is the hottest man alive but that comes with time and love.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2714 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’ll bite. My first impression of my Fiance was swayed by appearance, but not in the way you would think. When I met my Fiance he was going through “a phase” as my parents like to call it. He had loooong hair (like down to his butt) and a goatee. Honestly, he was kinda scary looking haha. When I first met him I was seeing someone else, and my first impression was, this dude needs a haircut. πŸ˜‰ A few months later I was single and our paths crossed more frequently. I still thought he looked like a serial killer, but he was just so much fun to hang out with that I fell for him, goatee and all.

    ….He has since shaved his face and cut his hair. My grandmother keeps telling him how much better he looks now. πŸ˜‰

    Post # 6
    Member
    542 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    This may sound shallow, but I think it is instinct to judge a book by it’s cover so to speak. First impressions are always based on what we first SEE….however, I also know that getting to know someone can improve their looks if that makes sense. To be honest, I didn’t think my husband was like Brad Pitt hot or anything when I first met him, but I definitely thought he was cute and was attracted to him. Now though, I constantly compare everyone else to him. To me, he is the hottest man alive. No one else compares…but I think that is the love talking. LOL.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1872 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    My Darling Husband won me over with personality. Seriously, he grows hair everywhere but his head.

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    4355 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I voted yes, but to a certain degree. Depending on the situation, but thoughts of what the other person looks like will cross your mind a one point or another. Whether it’ll change the outcome of the situation depends, but plays a huge role in first impressions.

    To be honest, my SO’s looks are what drew me to him first. Well to be fair we were total strangers when we met, he worked at the bank where I got my mortgage for my first place and when I saw him walking up to get me for our first appointment I thought “HOT DAMN!”, then once we chatted and he had a great personality too, I was sold. But his looks are what hooked me first πŸ˜‰

    Post # 9
    Member
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Re: the study– ABSOLUTELY. I’m a litigator so I am way too aware of how looks play a role… of the lawyer and the client! As silly as it sounds I really believe that by wearing a nice/expensive looking suit, nice shoes, doing my hair well, carrying a nice briefcase, etc I was helping the client because it LOOKS like he’s got a good successful attorney. And before I was engaged I would wear a band on my ring finger during trials because I’m pretty young and I feel like looking married made me look older/stable/more professional. 

    Re: my fi– i thought he was totally cute πŸ™‚ 

    Post # 10
    Member
    3709 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I will admit that I had a certain “type” of man that I dated. I was attracted to tall, muscular, broad men. Fiance is not that. He is tall but he is definitely not broad =) However, he is handsome and well put together and after our first conversation which lasted until 3:30 in the morning I was like…broad who? LOL.

    I don’t think looks matter so much as presentation….how you dress, personal hygeine, posture…those things matter in general…not just when talking about dating.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1057 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    okay I’ll be the one to get into science. Humans are animals. Animals were out on this planet for one purpose, reproduction. In the animal kingdom the males with the most color and beauty get the most mates. Same can be said for humans. When it comes to our animal instinct, physical attraction is what matters.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2821 posts
    Sugar bee

    I try to be aware of it but yes I think it matters for first impressions.  But I try to have my first impressions very open to changing. 

    As for my husband, I’m very attracted to him, but I’ve been attracted to plenty of people.  His looks caught my attention but they’re not what kept my attention.  For him I think a lot of people find him sexy but for other guys I’ve dated I’ve always found them attractive but  I know a lot of people would only rate as average, girls have lots of different types. 

    I think for me chemistry almost speaks louder, and I don’t even know what I mean by that.  I just know that in physical proximity (not like in a sexual way) to someone sometimes can make me feel a connection or feel distance, no matter how I’ve felt before about their attractiveness. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    2398 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Absolutely agree re: the study.

    As far as my husband?  Nope.  We met online via a message board and spent about a month trading tons and tons of e-mails before exchanging photos.  By then I was already a goner.

    Post # 16
    Member
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Well I can actually speak from experience on this issue. i used to be kind of an ‘ugly duckling’ I was really skinny with no boobs or ‘shape’ to me, dressed poorly in clothes that didn’t flatter my body, I had an imperfect nose (too big for my face with a hump) and mousy colored hair. Within about a 2 year period I got a nose job, gained some weight to look healthy, started highlighting my hair and dressing in more flattering/designer clothing. The way I was treated my entire life until that transformation was almost completely different than how I was treated afterwards. People in general are a LOT nicer to me, listen to me when I talk and quicker to forgive. I hate to say it, but it’s true.

    So I’ve heard about studies like these and 100% believe them because I actually lived it.

    PS and on a side note, I gained a lot of weight after that transformation and was treated differently yet again. I found people are very prejudiced against the overweight and would frequently insult me in a passive aggressive way. When I lost it, everyone went back to being nice again.

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