(Closed) Do you think “looks” play a part in how we judge people/our future SOs?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you think "looks" play a part in how we judge people/our future SOs?
    Yes completely! : (76 votes)
    70 %
    No not at all! : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Sometimes... : (32 votes)
    29 %
    Other - Please explain : (0 votes)
  • Post # 32
    Member
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I think looks play a role, but it varies how big that role is for everyone. 

    For me, if my husband had been a hot, stinky mess (or something …) when we first met, then yeah, I probably wouldn’t have been interested. But I’m the kind of person that needs to get to know people before having a relationship. We were friends for several month before dating, and I grew to find him sexier and sexier as I fell in love with his personality.

    In college, I dated a guy that was my first love, and after we broke up, everyone told me that he was a “less than 5” on the hotness scale. I was slightly offended that people couldn’t see past that. I feel in love with him for his personality, and the physical attraction came with that (also friends for a while before dating). His looks didn’t draw me in, but he were together for two years.

    Post # 34
    Member
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I said sometimes, but I probably could have put other.  Sure I form a snap judgement of someone based on their looks, and for people that I pass on the street and never get to know, that judgement probably stands until I die (with me that is).  However, once I start getting to know a person, other things begin to change and mold my perceptions.  I’ve known some gorgeous people that became ugly in my eyes because of their attitude in life and how they treat people.  I’ve known some people that would be commonly thought of as ugly, but when you get to know them then their amazing spirit, kindness, love just shines through.  So yeah… it depends.  

    Post # 35
    Member
    1126 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I think looks definitely make a difference.  I think my Fiance is gorgeous, but as long as I thought he wasn’t gross, I’m sure I would’ve started talking to him and eventually fallen for him, as I did.  The thing with your comparison to the experiment though is that it’s not based on attractiveness, but rather appearance.  If someone is unkempt and clearly doesn’t take care of themselves, then that is a major turn-off for me.  Not the least of which reason is that I don’t think we’ll have anything in common and I can’t imagine us sharing the same lifestyle views (i.e. hygiene, being healthy and active, etc.).  And while it might be mean or unfair, I definitely use those criteria when approaching people.  Not that I wouldn’t be perfectly nice and pleasant to someone who I think has opposite views on health than I do, and I may find that we have a connection and would make great friends, but I wouldn’t have dated someone like that unless he showed signs he wanted to change.

    Not exactly on point with the thread, but I think there’s a difference between judging people’s attractiveness (which short of surgery, they can’t help), vs. judging someone’s appearance (which may tell you a fair amount about their personality and values).

    Post # 36
    Member
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    Just found this thread. Interesting. My first impression of Fiance was “hmmm…. looks like a clean cut posho Tory boy. Some private school boy, probably a bit up his own arse.” I wouldn’t have said that he was either handsome or ugly… I do think it is true that you can often see something of someone’s character in their face, however, especially as they get older. When they start to wrinkle, you can see what their common expressions are from their wrinkles, and it does tell you a lot!

    … and in answer to your next question. Fiance was indeed a clean cut, ex-public schoolboy, a bit up his own arse sometimes, and very conservative (with a small, rather than a big, c).

    … but he WASN’T a posho, or a Tory.

    I think I got pretty close!

    Post # 37
    Member
    8439 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    This is an interesting thread.  I guess the study just goes to show how shallow most humans are.  My Fiance and I met online, playing World of Warcraft, so looks didn’t play a factor, it just happened to work out that we’re both physically really attracted to each other.

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