(Closed) Do you think married people make the best wedding attendants?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

100% YES! I had 6 attendants. 1 of them just got married last year and 1 of them has been married for 4 years but was just Maid/Matron of Honor in her sister’s wedding 2 months before ours and they were definitely both the most helpful. They understood how it felt to be the bride before and they were way more sensitive to certain things than my single BMs were.

Post # 5
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Absolutely. Although my BMs that aren’t married were helpful, a couple of them didn’t “get” all the work involved in a wedding etc. I think the married GMs had their wives squawking in their ears so they’d be a bigger help too, LOL!

Post # 6
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would imagine that married bridesmaids would generally be better attendants.  I know that having planned a wedding myself, I will be a much better bridesmaid in the future than I could have been before.  However, I don’t think there is much difference with groomsmen 🙂

Post # 8
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I had my SIL (married to my brother) and sister (not married) as my bridesmaids. They were equally awesome.

They were very supportive and worked together to throw me a great bachelorette party and shower. My sister went above and beyond to make my day special, going out of her way to find hair clips for me and the wedding party, making sure everyone was fed on wedding day, etc. She also tried to help as much as she could with planning, although she lives Out of Town so I told her that she didn’t have to. My SIL also did a lot, and helped me with DIY flowers.

 

Post # 9
Member
5572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Bellagiobride:Oh they definitely were. All of my BMs were great but like Bakerella said the unmarried ones just didn’t “get” some things. Like when I started getting nervous or stressed out about something the married BMs understood why it was important and how to help me while the other ones didn’t see it as much of a big deal. I didn’t mean to make my other Bridesmaid or Best Man sound like they were bad attendants, they really were helpful. It just took a little more explaining to help them understand things, at least in my case.

 

@bakerella:I totally agree about the married Groomsmen too! I think part of it too is that they went through the whole process with their now wives and they know how much work is involved and why certain things mattered.

 

Post # 10
Member
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

probably… only because they’ve been through it before, and like PPs mentioned, they may understand and/or empathize better when things get tricky.  having said that, my 2 attendants who were married, also had children.  if your bm’s have kids, don’t expect much from them.  their lives are pretty full, and probably are better suited to the just show up and support me on the wedding day role.  i didn’t expect much, and because of that, was always glad when anyone offered to help!

Post # 12
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@bakerella: haha I thought the opposite thing as you about GMs.  Most of FI’s groomsmen are married, and they are not really helpful.  Their wives are, though!

Post # 13
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Actually my best attendant so far is my unmarried Maid/Matron of Honor and I think it’s because she has been a Bridesmaid or Best Man soooo many times, she just knows how it goes! Also, she is just one of those girls who loves weddings, so that probably helps too! 😉

(Not to say the other girls aren’t helpful/good BMs… they have not caused a single problem and I love them all to pieces. They just don’t quite understand the whole stressed out bride thing.)

Post # 14
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have 3 BMs, and 1 of them is planning her wedding at the same time – and she is waaaay more helpful than the other 2! I am not in her bridal party, but I know she has the same issues with her BMs, so I am trying to be there for her as much as she’s there for me. Thank goodness for her, I’d be lost without her!

Post # 15
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I thnik newly married people make better wedding attendants, but not all married people. By the time we got married my SIL had been married for 6+ years so I dont think she remembered how it was to be planning. It wasn’t that she wasn’t helpful, but she wasn’t amazing because she had planned a wedding. All of my other bridesmaids were unmarried and had no idea how much went into wedding planning.

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