Do you think most women would want a boy or a girl in my shoes?

posted 7 months ago in Babies
  • poll: Boy or girl?
    Girl : (9 votes)
    39 %
    Boy : (14 votes)
    61 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2092 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    A healthy happy baby?! My cousin had the first boy in our family and he is treated exactly the same as all the girls, even though everyone made a big deal about “the first boy’. I was the first girl for my dad’s side of the family in over 60 years and other than that being mentioned occasionally, I was treated exactly the same. In your shoes, I’d want a healthy happy baby and i’d ignore all the white noise about the boy being the second coming of Jesus. Sure, maybe for like a hot second it will be a big deal but then people will get over it. All children should be treated the same regardless of gender, sex or birth order.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4913 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I would distance myself from family members who made my child feel less special for being born the wrong sex. Why would you want to be around people who make you worry that having a baby of the wrong sex means the baby won’t be as special if it were born the right sex?

    eta you want to “get your girl out of the way”… what does that even mean??

    Post # 5
    Member
    4994 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    I don’t really get the point of this post…why would you assume most women would want the same thing and why does it matter? 

    Post # 6
    Member
    9769 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would not base what I want based on any family members or existing grandkids.  In fact, if they were insistent on treating a boy better and spoiling him more I’d probably want a girl to shut them up lol.

    Anyway, we have the only grandkids on both sides so it didn’t matter what they were.  But I wanted a girl first because I wanted at least one girl.  I had a girl first and my second is a boy.  My husband said he didn’t care both times.  

    Sansa85 :  I would hazard a guess that she means “get the girl out of the way” means that that way on baby #2 she doesn’t have to care if it’s a boy or a girl because she already has a girl (what she wanted).

    Post # 7
    Member
    2372 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

    I know this sounds cheesy but if it were me I would just want a healthy baby. 

    It would be cool to have the first grandson. For  sure that would be a cool experience for everyone. However, personally, I have to have a daughter one day. I would love to have one of each gender, but I absolutely have to have a daughter. If that means I have two or three boys and then adopt, that’s what I’ll do. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    3721 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I also would just want a healthy baby. I only want 1 child when I do have a kid, and I truly have no preference. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    4913 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    kes18 :  getting a girl out of the way just makes it sounds like babies are objects to have. I don’t know, maybe I’m just being crabby.

    I’m still salty about my sil, when she found out that her second was a boy, she was pissed. It just grosses me out

    Post # 12
    Member
    4913 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    hollyjollymess :  upset is an understatement. My bil told everyone not to talk to her the day they found out. Her first was a boy, her second was a boy, her third was a girl but she was really worried that it would be another boy.

    She had serious problems, I’m biased because of her, so I don’t really have a non emotional opinion lol

    Post # 13
    Member
    2416 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I wouldn’t care as long as the baby was healthy. I could see if this was your 4th child and you’d had all boys wanting a girl, but for your first child I don’t see how it would matter. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2553 posts
    Sugar bee

    I have the exact same situation. We aren’t pregnant yet, but only one cousin has had a baby, and it was a girl. None of the other cousins are married except us and we are planning to TTC in a few months.

    I totally get what you mean by “get your girl out of the way,” though it is phrased oddly. If I could only have one gender, and I could choose, I’d have a girl. Boys run in both mine and DH’s family, so we are actually worried me might end up with all boys. We both want a girl.

    I asked him this question a few months ago, when it dawned on me that we might have the first boy grandchild. (No one in the family has EVER said anything to me about the first boy grandchild being favored, but it’s a very traditional, patriarchal family, so I’m just aware of the general sentiment.) Darling Husband seemed confused as to why that would even factor into OUR preference. He said he still wants a girl first, and I do, too.

    And I agree with a point previously made – favoratism is emotional abuse and I would keep my children FAR away from any family members who openly engaged in that. If anyone in DH’s family ever dares to say something along those lines to me, they will get an earful. 

    EDA: All that to say – in the end, we’d be happy with a healthy baby anywhere on the gender spectrum! But if we had a boy first, then a boy second… well, we’d stretch ourselves to have a third, and there would be so much pressure for a girl by that point. So it would be nice to “get that out of the way” quickly. 😛

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