Do you think most women would want a boy or a girl in my shoes?

posted 7 months ago in Babies
  • poll: Boy or girl?
    Girl : (9 votes)
    39 %
    Boy : (14 votes)
    61 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    9573 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    All I wanted was a healthy baby. 

    I would rather my child be special for their personality not because of what’s between their legs. I think/hope most women would feel the same.

    Post # 17
    Member
    5449 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    hollyjollymess :  I think the fact that my in-laws were making such a huge deal about the “first grandson” would make me want to distance myself from them as much as possible.  And it would make my life villianously more fulfilling by being Team Green during my first pregnancy.

    Post # 20
    Member
    7278 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    This nonsense is part of the reason I waited until the birth to find out what was between my kid’s legs. I really just wanted a healthy baby and I didn’t want to deal with the sexist crap. I had a slight preference to have a girl but after giving birth my husband could have yelled out “it’s a monkey!” and I would have been jazzed lol. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    5449 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    hollyjollymess :  I just like my privacy with my pregnancy and parenting.  My Mother-In-Law is horrible.  When my husband and I had been dating for just short of a year – on New Years Eve 2014, she said she would have a new grandbaby in 2015 (implying I would get accidentally knocked up).  She then made comments on how badly she wanted a granddaughter, and even though I wanted a girl because I have a stepson, it made me nervous about having a girl… she would say that girls are so “well-behaved” and “only sweet,” which put unrealistic expectation on any possible future daughter I had (note, she has a granddaughter, but she hasn’t seen her in 7 years).  Then when she was mad at her daughters she would say, “I hope you have a boy, because girls are b*tches.”  I wasn’t even pregnant at this time.

    We didn’t find out what we were having until the day my daughter was born… Part of the reason was because of how much emphasis she put on my child’s sex.  Luckily, we haven’t been on speaking terms with my Mother-In-Law for a long time… long beforemy daughter was born.

    Post # 22
    Member
    2553 posts
    Sugar bee

    hollyjollymess :  You keep referencing YOU feeling “special” for having the first boy. I’ve got to say that this is the main odd thing here to me. This way of thinking almost turns your child into an object and definitely turns it into an extension of yourself, a way for YOU to feel better about YOU. 

    And that is a very dangerous path to start down. It doesn’t make sense to feel special for having a baby of a certain gender. I can see how it might be “interesting” – in that maybe the child will get a little more/different attention for being a boy in a sea of 8 girls. But you definitely should not feel like it’s a personal achievement, or something to feel better than others over. 

    It’s starting to sound like you are very swayed by the idea of “achieving” a “Golden Goose” type status within the family.

    You want to be proud of your baby because it’s your baby, not because it “earns” you admiration and special status. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    5449 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    LilliV :  Same.  I slightly wanted a girl more, and I hated that I slightly wanted a girl!  I fully prepared myself for a boy, and kind of found myself leaning towards boy colors as I was decorating (luckily my husband kept me in place).  I didn’t want anyone to get us a bunch of super girly stuff or cheesy boy stuff before my baby was born, nor did I want any emphasis on “what are you going to name him/her?!”  It was the best day of my life when my baby was born.  I would have been so happy with either, but I was SHOCKED it was a girl. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    9573 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    LilliV :  I would have been possibly even more jazzed for a monkey. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    4022 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    For someone who doesn’t care you sure seem to care a lot.

    Post # 26
    Member
    7278 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    SeaOfLove :  Half my daughter’s clothes are from the “boy” department. Because that’s where are the cars and dinosaurs and POCKETS are! And hey…if we have a boy next I’ll have plenty of non-pink hand-me-downs. She’s way more into cars than dolls so she currently has more cars than dolls. If she decides someday that hot pink sparkle princesses are her jam then we’ll go with that.

    Post # 27
    Member
    1747 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    My best friend is one of five girls. Out of the grandchildren so far, there’s 3 girls. You bet they want a boy.

    Post # 28
    Member
    3203 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    hollyjollymess :  I think this whole thing is ridiculous. Who cares if it’s the first or the last grandson? My son is one of 3 grandsons on my in laws side (no granddaughters) and one of 5 grandsons on my side (no granddaughters), he is neither the first or the last in either case, but he is loved and spoiled by all. I think it’s ridiculous adults think of their children as some sort of competition.

    I am pregnant again, have no idea what the baby is – I just want the baby to be healthy. Then again I had a miscarriage a few months ago so my perspective might be different. I just want to hold my baby. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    1441 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think I’d want a less childish family who cares more about the kids than their genitals.

    Post # 30
    Member
    9093 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    i vote happy and healthy baby. 

    we had the first boy after 3 girls.  he’s treated exactly the same way as every other grandchild. 

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