(Closed) Do you think siblings HAVE to be in the wedding party?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I am close to my family, but my brother & I aren’t BFFs (we’re just different) and there was no way he wasn’t going to be in my wedding. Because he was going to be a groomsman, I out of obligation asked DH’s sister to be a bridesmaid. I felt it was only fair, and I think it looks odd to have one sibling in the wedding and another out. Does your Fiance have any other siblings? IMO I think you Fiance should ask your brother. He is going to be family.

Post # 3
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

View original reply
kmmq72 :  I totally understand your situation! I have a younger brother (5 years difference) that I am fairly close to and who gets along with my SO, but we are unsure of having him in the bridal party. Both my sister and SO’s sister will be bridesmaids.

I haven’t asked my mother’s opinion on this since we are so far away from the wedding (I’m sure she’ll have one tho). If she insists on him being a groomsmen, we likely will include him if he wants to be one. However, my brother is older than yours.

In your case, I would ask your brother on whether he really wanted to be a groomsmen and if he felt like he was missing out by not being one. If he wants to be one, include him l. If he doesn’t or does not care (like mine), I would leave him out of it and stick to your original plan. He is younger, so it is likely he would feel awkward and be unable to participate in a lot of groomsmen activities anyway.

Best of luck!

Post # 4
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I didn’t read your whole post but to answer your title question, no. My brother will not be in our wedding party, but both my sisters are. 

My brother has…issues. Our relationship has always been strained. 

Post # 5
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I have 2 younger brothers, and neither is in our wedding party.  I have 4 friends, and FH has his brother, 2 cousins, and his niece.  My brothers are doing readings for the wedding instead (catholic wedding, 2 readings)

Its your day, do whatever you want

Post # 6
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Is there a male version of junior bridesmaid? I made both of FI’s little sisters junior BMs and I’m not close to them at all. Since they are young, they aren’t involved in anything before the wedding so I still get those special moments such as the bach. party with just my best friends.

Post # 7
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee

tell him he can be the ring bearer lol if he can’t go to the bachelor party then he’s too young to be a groomsman!

Post # 8
Member
7991 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

my brother stood on my side

but you should have your nearest and dearest.  don’t feel obligated to have someone just because they are family.

Post # 9
Member
1593 posts
Bumble bee

No, I have two brothers and only one is a groomsman.

Post # 10
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Lake Louise Canada

Nah I have one sister in, and one out and they really aren’t bothered. I wasn’t in her party either. Not everyone has that relationship. If you’re on the fence and it’ll burn bridges for the future, you might want to make him a bridesman. But if everyone’s cool with it who cares!

Post # 11
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I’m very close to my brother. He will not be a groomsman but will be an usher and he’s fine with that. My brother lives in another state and therefore isn’t too close with my Fiance but they do get along fine when they’re around each other. My Fiance did ask my cousin to be a groomsman though. The two of them are fairly close and have similar interests.  My Fiance is an only child, his groomsmen consist of his cousins, friends and my cousin.  I have a teenage cousin who will be a Jr. Groomsmen and his younger sister will be a Jr. Bridesmaid. We wanted to include them in some way. I only have the one brother, no sisters.  

 

I don’t think siblings *have* to be in the wedding party. It’s up to the bride and groom and what works best for the both of them.

Post # 12
Member
878 posts
Busy bee

Considering the age difference between you and your brother, not to mention him and the other groomsman, I don’t think it’s weird at all.

Post # 13
Member
1819 posts
Buzzing bee

No. Being a sibling does not entitle someone to a position in your wedding party. Its your relationship with that person that determines it. 

Post # 14
Member
6309 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

We did include siblings in our bridal party, because I’ve just grown up thinking that siblings are included. My SIL is 10 years older than me and we really have nothing in common…nor do we ever “hang out” aside from when we’re visiting DH’s family. I still included her because it just felt like the right thing to do. Meanwhile DH included my brother. They were roommates in college (DH and I were together well before that though) although I wouldn’t consider them close friends…my sister and DH’s god-sister were also included. I would have looked like a real asshole for not including her when everyone else was part of wedding….and honestly at the end of the day what does it matter if she’s included?

Post # 15
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

I think barring any family drama then yes. Your relationship with your brother will only grow as he becomes a man. I would take this opportunity to include him in a major life milestone of yours and your husbands.

Your FH will have 5 groomsmen and you’ll have 4 Bridesmaid or Best Man. It’ll look fine.

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