Post # 1
okay I have seen with many couples that its not they don’t completly love each other it’s just that they have been together for a while and they seem to grow less fond of each other. I often even see married couples go into sexless marriages and I don’t want that for my marriage. I love my fiancé a lot and our realtionship was never easy it was a very hard struggle and their was a lot of fighting and arguing a lot in the beginning of the realtionship but with patience and understan I have learned to love my fiancé more. Now my realtionship with my fiance was a struggle at first because he was so in love with me at the beginning of the realtionship and it took me around 18 months in our four years together to truly return his love that he had towards me. And while me and my fiance do have good conversations and he had really improved on his social skills we are still very different. I am an extrovert and he is an introvert so out realtionship can be hard on the both of us. However the one thing I love about him is his romantic and affectionate side. He loves to cuddle with me and he must kiss me at least a 1000 times a day. I want us to be like that old couple from the movie up when we are in our 80s. I hope and pray that we never go into a sexless marriage because me and him will both go crazy if we don’t bang each other at least once a day lol. I want us to always be affectionate towards each other and a big fear I have is that as we grow older we won’t love each other as much as we do now. I mean I love him so much right now and I don’t want that to ever change. We also made a promise to each other saying divorce is not an option and we will grow old togther. But I just fear that the love I have for him now will stop. Is this an irrational fear
Post # 2
jennymack89: Nope, as we get older and spend time together we love each other more. It takes effort from both ends, but we keep the fire alive!
Post # 3
your partner. You’re = you are
Post # 4
no but i do believe it is a different kind of love. i just read aziz anzari’s modern romance. he talked about 2 kinds of love passionate love and companionate love. when you are with your partner for a long time passionate turns into companionate. he did a lot of research on the topics and shows how the brain behaves differently and shows the 2 different kinds as you age with your partner.
Post # 5
We’ve been together over 12 years — I definitely love him more. And more and more and more all the time. I’ve never lost that excited happy feeling that comes when I see him walking up the street.
Post # 6
Absolutely not. We haven’t been together long, but I love him more every single day.
Love is hard. Sometimes I want to wring his neck and sometimes I just want to yell, but we all have our off days. Being married and being in love isn’t like fairytales. You won’t always agree, you won’t always get along, some days you’ll fight, but when you come over that bump in the road together, you’re stronger on the other side.
Post # 7
Don’t assume that people in less affectionate relationships are not in love.
It’s not realistic to think that every day for 60 years that you and your partner will make love or kiss each other “1000” times.
But, the bottom line is that your relationship will be what you and your partner make it.
Post # 8
jennymack89: No, but I think that as you grow as individuals it may result in you growing apart. None of us will be the same in 5 years time, let alone 30-50 years.
Post # 9
jennymack89: Just be prepared because sh*ts gonna happen. JOb stuff, family stuff, money stuff – anything. And that can affect your relationship. If you have a good, strong relationship you’ll likely weather those peaks and valleys. I’m sure those married couples who are sexless now didn’t expect to be that way either. Hopefully you both go into it with a “we can conquer anything” attitude, but it’s not always going to be 1000 kisses a day. Does he keep track??
Post # 10
I think it depends on whether you’re willing to work at your relationship or not.
I love Darling Husband now more than I did 3 years ago, or 5 years ago, or 7 years ago. But that doesn’t mean it’s always sunshine and roses.
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2016 - Cambridge Mill
jennymack89: I think this is why it’s important that you are a compatible pair. If you fight all the time I can see the love not lasting because you will always be grumpy with each other. If you enjoy lots of things together as you get older and continue to do those things together, I think love can last and grow. You will appreciate each other more too, all the times they helped you when you needed them etc.
Sex may not be as imporant when you get older but that’s okay! I think older people will still do it and enjoy it. I’d ask my 95yr old Grandfather but he may have a heart attack if I do! LOL
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2016 - Cambridge Mill
alamana: Yay I love that! <3
Post # 14
i gotta say your goal posts are unrealistic and focused on the physical. Your relationship was a year of struggle and fighting and with patience you *learned* to love him? And come on, at least once a day? For life? God speed.
I think what keeps a great marriage afloat is friendship and enjoying, accepting, supporting each other… Not PDA and over the top passion always. That stuff ebbs and flows. Sex is an important part but not everything… Personality and character is the day in day out reality- and what should reignite the affection.
Post # 15
I think you love your partner in different ways as the seasons change in your life. When we were first together it was lusty love. We couldn’t get enough of each other’s bodies, we never stopped telling each other how sexy and hot the other one was and it was intense but not familiar yet.
Then it became relaxing love. We could talk all night, we knew histories and anecdotes and favourites and hatreds. This was the time when we ‘knew’ we were with the right person, that this love ran deep and always would.
Then came the flush of marriage love. We were comfortable enough to fight, to be grumpy in the mornings, to say no to sex, to ignore each other without worry that it ‘meant’ something. Here we were past relaxed and into raw. Foilbles, flaws and issues rose to the surface and our communication styles were invented. We quickly became problem solvers and mediators and crisis management whizzes. Here is where we made each other better. Work shy, we have never been.
Then it became calm love. We don’t kiss every single day but we feel an unbreakable connection. Sex is not a crucial part of our marriage but we are amazing at it. There is no face he pulls I do not know how to read. We finish sentences, predict behaviours, make the same jokes and we already know we can conquer anything. Storms we have weathered successfully and with confidence. We are not two independant people anymore but a team stitched together matter of factly because life would not be better any other way.