(Closed) Do you think that as you get older you love you're partner less

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

jennymack89:  Nope, as we get older and spend time together we love each other more. It takes effort from both ends, but we keep the fire alive!

Post # 3
Member
2098 posts
Buzzing bee

your partner. You’re = you are 

Post # 4
Member
9172 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

no but i do believe it is a different kind of love.  i just read aziz anzari’s modern romance.  he talked about 2 kinds of love passionate love and companionate love.  when you are with your partner for a long time passionate turns into companionate.  he did a lot of research on the topics and shows how the brain behaves differently and shows the 2 different kinds as you age with your partner.

Post # 5
Member
1838 posts
Buzzing bee

We’ve been together over 12 years — I definitely love him more. And more and more and more all the time. I’ve never lost that excited happy feeling that comes when I see him walking up the street. 

Post # 6
Member
9098 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Absolutely not. We haven’t been together long, but I love him more every single day.

Love is hard. Sometimes I want to wring his neck and sometimes I just want to yell, but we all have our off days. Being married and being in love isn’t like fairytales. You won’t always agree, you won’t always get along, some days you’ll fight, but when you come over that bump in the road together, you’re stronger on the other side.

Post # 7
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee

Don’t assume that people in less affectionate relationships are not in love.

It’s not realistic to think that every day for 60 years that you and your partner will make love or kiss each other “1000” times.

But, the bottom line is that your relationship will be what you and your partner make it.

Post # 8
Member
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

jennymack89:  No, but I think that as you grow as individuals it may result in you growing apart. None of us will be the same in 5 years time, let alone 30-50 years.

Post # 9
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

jennymack89:  Just be prepared because sh*ts gonna happen. JOb stuff, family stuff, money stuff – anything. And that can affect your relationship. If you have a good, strong relationship you’ll likely weather those peaks and valleys. I’m sure those married couples who are sexless now didn’t expect to be that way either. Hopefully you both go into it with a “we can conquer anything” attitude, but it’s not always going to be 1000 kisses a day. Does he keep track??

Post # 10
Member
4060 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it depends on whether you’re willing to work at your relationship or not.

I love Darling Husband now more than I did 3 years ago, or 5 years ago, or 7 years ago. But that doesn’t mean it’s always sunshine and roses.

Post # 12
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Cambridge Mill

jennymack89:  I think this is why it’s important that you are a compatible pair. If you fight all the time I can see the love not lasting because you will always be grumpy with each other. If you enjoy lots of things together as you get older and continue to do those things together, I think love can last and grow. You will appreciate each other more too, all the times they helped you when you needed them etc.

Sex may not be as imporant when you get older but that’s okay! I think older people will still do it and enjoy it. I’d ask my 95yr old Grandfather but he may have a heart attack if I do! LOL

Post # 13
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Cambridge Mill

alamana:  Yay I love that! <3

Post # 14
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

i gotta say your goal posts are unrealistic and focused on the physical. Your relationship was a year of struggle and fighting and with patience you *learned* to love him? And come on, at least once a day? For life? God speed. 

I think what keeps a great marriage afloat is friendship and enjoying, accepting, supporting each other… Not PDA and over the top passion always. That stuff ebbs and flows. Sex is an important part but not everything… Personality and character is the day in day out reality- and what should reignite the affection. 

 

Post # 15
Member
3244 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think you love your partner in different ways as the seasons change in your life. When we were first together it was lusty love. We couldn’t get enough of each other’s bodies, we never stopped telling each other how sexy and hot the other one was and it was intense but not familiar yet.

Then it became relaxing love. We could talk all night, we knew histories and anecdotes and favourites and hatreds. This was the time when we ‘knew’ we were with the right person, that this love ran deep and always would.

Then came the flush of marriage love. We were comfortable enough to fight, to be grumpy in the mornings, to say no to sex, to ignore each other without worry that it ‘meant’ something. Here we were past relaxed and into raw. Foilbles, flaws and issues rose to the surface and our communication styles were invented. We quickly became problem solvers and mediators and crisis management whizzes. Here is where we made each other better. Work shy, we have never been.

Then it became calm love. We don’t kiss every single day but we feel an unbreakable connection. Sex is not a crucial part of our marriage but we are amazing at it. There is no face he pulls I do not know how to read. We finish sentences, predict behaviours, make the same jokes and we already know we can conquer anything. Storms we have weathered successfully and with confidence. We are not two independant people anymore but a team stitched together matter of factly because life would not be better any other way.

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