(Closed) Do you think that as you get older you love you're partner less

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Yipeebee:  +1 to this!

My fiance, when I first met him, was really in shape and we (ahem..sorry if it’s tmi) were like teenagers trying to get it in all the time. Now, (sorry hunny) my fiance gained about 30 lbs. We now do it when we have time or energy lol I love him on a much more emotional level now, deeper than I ever thought I could love another person. But, it continues to grow each day with something! So, lust love? Nah, we’re over lust love. I still lust for him, but the love I have for him as a person and more specifically, MY person, is unparalleled to anything I’ve ever experienced.

Post # 17
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee

In light of a posters recap about your posts, nevermind. Not worth getting sucked into a weird level of crazy with an internet stranger.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by  Katie-Didnt. Reason: edited because no. Just no
Post # 18
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think you love your partner less, but you probably show it less. 

Post # 19
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Affection =/= Love. As PPs mentioned, don’t assume that couples who aren’t openly affectionate or who show their affection in ways that aren’t physical are not in love.

It sounds like you’re both pretty focused on the physical in terms of how you express your love to one another. I think it’s great you’re on the same page, more power to you – but you might want to read The Five Love Languages to understand how other couples show their love for each other. I think it’s unrealistic for you to think you’ll always be bangin’ as much as you are now, or that you’ll both always be up for a cuddle.

As @Yipeebee mentioned, there are different ways you love for different seasons. I think you should look forward to embracing all of them.

Honestly, though? I do sort of think that your fear of just “not loving him” one day is irrational – combined with you thinking your relationship has been pretty difficult it’s not exactly a red flag, but it’s… eyebrow raise worthy? Maybe you need to do some soul searching and really decide if that fear is coming from a place that’s telling you your relationship isn’t right.

Post # 20
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

jennymack89:  OK.  Let’s just do a recap of what we know about you from a whopping 11 posts.

  • Your Fiance has Asperger’s
  • Your family doesn’t want you to marry him
  • Your dad offered him a million dollars not to marry you
  • Your family doesn’t want you to have kids because they might have mental illness
  • It took you a really long time to fall in love with your Fiance, which makes it seem to me like you had to talk yourself into it
  • You have sex approximately 100 times a day, and 1000 on weekends
  • You have promised to have sex every day, NO MATTER WHAT, because you’re afraid of having a sexless marriage
  • You think that as time goes on, people love their partners less

 

For the record, my H and I have less sex now than when we met, and I am more in love with him than ever.

Post # 21
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I work with a man whose been married 35 years & he is more in love with his wife now than ever. He talks about her all the time & sends her kissy emojis all the time during work. so, not really. 

Post # 22
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Kikibear:  yaaaassssss. 

They say you create what you fear the most. Sounds like you have some severe relationship anxiety & should probably get help for that. 

Post # 23
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

In my previous marriage I thought that we fell out of love, but after it ended and I was single and began dating and met my now fiance, I realized that I never really loved my ex to begin with. I think many people settle in relationships that aren’t that fulfilling or they don’t break up when they should and just hang on with hope that things will get better.

I know it’s hard for me to compare because I’ve been with Fiance for just under 3 years and I was with my ex for 13 but I feel so much more strongly about him 3 years in than I did with my ex, our sex life has barely slowed down at all where as with my ex we had already slowed down a lot (and we were young). I’m excited for our future, I feel happy, I don’t feel like anything has diminished. Relationships are fluid, they will always change but it doesn’t have to be for the worse, your sex life may slow down as your lives change but you can find new ways to connect that you didn’t previously. 

To me the fact that it took you 18 months of struggling to love him, is a warning sign and I would really do some soul searching to see if he’s really the one for you.

Post # 25
Member
3244 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

justinsgirl2016:  I am your fiance in that dynamic. He does martial arts/weight trains etc and I just ate my weight in chocolate. He got engaged to a size 4-6 and is now married to a size 12-14 but he loves me for more than the flat tummy he remembers.

Post # 26
Member
1812 posts
Buzzing bee

What MrsBuesleBee said.

Post # 27
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee

Good for those old people in Up, still banging away… 😉

Post # 28
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

With your other posts, I figured benefit of the doubt but this is just too much…but it’s a Friday night so troll as much as you’d like lmao. 

Post # 29
Member
4030 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Yipeebee:  U explained this so beautifully! Wow! Perfect description of the many stages of true love!

Post # 30
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Unless you are with the wrong person, I don’t think you would love them any less. I like @Yipeebee’s answer, that’s the best description I’ve seen in this thread by far!

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by  katiemotz.

The topic ‘Do you think that as you get older you love you're partner less’ is closed to new replies.

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