(Closed) Do You Think The Idea of Marriage Has Changed?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1485 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

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mightyduck17:  I think for some people, yes. Peoples’ morals and ideals are constantly evolving, moreso over the last 100 years. Some people don’t even believe in monogamy anymore! Perhaps some have always been this way, but we’re more exposed to it now because of technology and social media.

Post # 4
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee

It all depends on how you were raised and where you come from. 

Some people will stick to the commitment as said In death do us part. 

Some people have no respect for their SO and feel they can do what they want, how and when they want just like they did when they were single. Marriage is a commitment, and you should consult with your partner.

Post # 5
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

hmmm…sometimes I wonder if social media/internet contributes to relationship breakdowns too…I think it’s easy for one partner to see the glamourous aspects of someone elses life on facebook/insta and think the grass might be greener. I also think it might me easier to get in touch with other people and cheat now too if you want to. In saying that though people have always found a way to cheat haha. 

Post # 6
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee

I think discussing or outwardly acting anything other than completely committed was more frowned upon. Infidelity and fears of being “stuck” with one person from now on definitely existed back then. People stayed in unhappy marriages and kept a poker face for fear of social repurcussions.

Divorce has become more accepted so we see more of the messy side of things. 

Post # 7
Member
3075 posts
Sugar bee

I think with divorce becoming more socially acceptable you hear more about issues people have in their married life. *To me* it seems like people have always had the same problems, infidelity, abuse, loneliness, etc, it is just that people are more likely to talk about it more now than in the past. 

Post # 11
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

eh, I don’t really think so, I think thigns are just more accepted now. Abusive, cheating, immature, assholes spouses have existed forever. It used to be accepted that men would go out and cheat while their wives stayed cooped up at home.

Post # 13
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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mightyduck17:  Very interesting topic. Some of the PPs have certainly raised some good points. But I would have to say for more people than not that marriage has changed. Divorce is so common that marriage isn’t necessarily viewed as a life long relationship anymore. It’s become I’ll stay with you until we can no longer commit to this. I do think that historically, cheating is more common than we’d like to think though. Of course historically what has been defined as cheating has also evolved. In recent times (last 100 years or so) the definition has remained similar to what we know it to be today. But despite the fact that the definition is the same, what has changed is the reaction to cheating and even the avoidance of cheating. I almost think that those who are caught cheating today are viewed negatively of course, but it is eventually let go of and forgotten about (the fact I can think of a dozen off the top of my head that this applies to in the public eye is sad, since that shows it is true that we move on). I think the “once a cheater always a cheater” isn’t viewed as necessarily true either anymore since you see those in the public cheating but then they carry on with their current relationship or have a following relationship. I would almost think that before the public affairs, those who were caught cheating were seen as untrustworthy. Now we look at the bigger picture though and try to figure out why, which in my mind almost gives cheaters an out or an excuse to do it in the first place. No longer is it deplorable. 

Another unfortunate event is that many people look simply to get married and forget about what it takes beyond that to make it work. Again, thanks to social media we all want the big lavish weddings and sometimes in the midst of that we marry too quickly or for the wrong reason. People get caught up in the party, the dress, the ring, etc. and not the reason they are actually there to celebrate. 

Anyways, just my two cents but yes unfortunately it has changed or perhaps just evolved as we have. 

Post # 14
Member
2452 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

People got married very young and never considered staying single or living an independent adult life as we do today. When you live in a society where it is now socially acceptable to stay single in your 20’s (or beyond) and everyone can go out to bars/clubs and play the field for so many years as adults, being completely independent and living on your own, it does become harder to imagine settling down with one person forever… unlike years ago when they didn’t know any better because people were married right out of high school.

I know I have a stronger, more committed and loving marriage than my grandparents ever did. My grandfather was abusive and my grandmother was a major alcoholic. If they were married in today’s society, they would’ve ended up divorced.

Post # 15
Member
5046 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

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mightyduck17:  Yeah, it’s definitely changed. Some for the good, some for the bad. I’d say back in the day people were more likely to stay in a bad marriage because the stigma of divorce was so bad. And from the WB I get the feeling a lot of people (men??) would just as soon stay living together than get married, for whatever reason. I could’ve been a 50s wife, though I’d need a job. Lol! I just like the seemingly simpler time.

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