Post # 1
I’ll preface by saying I work in a very male friendly office. Most managers are men ( all alpha male types too) and I work on a team of 8 men, 2 other women. We all get along GREAT, we go to each other’s homes for cookouts, our SO’s are all close, it’s a pretty tight knit crew we have.
However; I think our level of comfort and familiarity blurs the line of professionalism a bit. Discussions range from money to parenting to anything, really. The growing problem I see is the language. These guys cuss a lot. A LOT.
I’m no prude, and I have been known to let go when I stub my toe, but I try to keep it clean-ish at the office. There is ONE word that I cringe when I hear them use it. Nails on a chalk board cringe. This word is slang for the female anatomy, and they use it in reference to each other quite often like ” you’re such a pu**y”. This is really starting to aggravate me . I *kind of* want to say something, but I know it will backfire. Today when someone said it, I responded with “yeah man, you’re such a small, flaccid penis “
Of course they laughed, but I’m sure the point was missed. Would you say something or just let this go? I’m certain that HR would “look into it” but really, I don’t want to use HR as my personal complaint department and I know the managers see nothing wrong with it, because I’ve seen them participate. I should just let it go, it’s just a word… but lately it has seriously been bugging me lol
Post # 3
I’d let most of it go and when they say the one word that makes you cringe, just reply with “I don’t really mind the poor language, but somehow that one word always seems to irk me…” and then just continue your conversation. Don’t dwell on it. Don’t lose friends over. Just get your point across and keep the conversation moving…
Post # 4
I have a close knit team too, but we don’t swear at work. If I’m out to lunch with colleagues (and they are more *friends* as I’m spending my free time with them), we talk a bit more openly. In the office though? Never. I guess it depends what industry you’re in, but language like you describe would be highly inappropriate in my field.
Having said that, Fiance and I swear like sailors at home. I am able to turn it off at work, but I don’t even try to at home. Words don’t actually mean anything, we place value on them. There’s nothing inherent about it. My guy friends will call each other pussies too, and it really doesn’t bother me. At work, I would find it very unprofessional but I wouldn’t be offended (unless someone swore at me, in which case I’d say something).
I grew up with 3 brothers and a sister. My sister and I learned to put the boys – and their friends – in their places very quickly. Do or die environment 😉
Post # 5
Maybe just let your cringe show when you hear it and they’ll get the hint?
Post # 6
@BoxerLady: this is very do or die! It’ Is more irritating than anything else because I know their wives would smack them if they heard the way they talk at the office.
Post # 7
@Mrs_Amanda: I would probably mention that I hate that word at some point in conversation, but I think mentioning flacid penises at work probably makes these guys think you are cool with them talking in that way. I understand your point, but I think the message that the guys got was probably actually opposite of what you wanted.
I would probably let it go. Mentioning it to HR could create tension in the office, especially if it would be easy to find out it was your complaint.
Post # 8
@CoCoCourtney: yeah it prob wasn’t the most mature response but I was so tired of giving the eye roll and “whatever” response
Post # 9
I know exactly what you mean haha, I worked on a paving crew for a while and the language can be atrocious! haha At one point I just said to them, “Gosh, I can’t believe your language today! If only your wife X could hear your thoughts on that!” And we all laughed it off, but I think it worked because I rarely heard “cunt” for the rest of the season. Just remember how macho they think they are and they think they need to prove it every chance they get. Boys will be boys.
Post # 10
@Mrs_Amanda: “Today when someone said it, I responded with ‘yeah man, you’re such a small, flaccid penis'” Hahahahaha….
Yes, I think cursing is usually something to keep under wraps at work, though it depends. My boss is…er…a bit crass. I try not to follow his example because it’s different being the boss and being someone’s employee. That being said, my office is still more lax than a lot of other professional settings, and I sometimes use the less offensive of the curse words out there.
In your case, I would probably either let it be or say something directly to them one time so they know it bugs you and then let it drop.
Post # 11
I can relate–I work in an office that’s all men. It’s hilarious to listen to my favorite salesman call people names on the phone. I think the worst I’ve heard has been variations of the word “fuck,” but it’s not too bad around here. Just tell them to knock it the fuck off because there are ladies in the office, lmao.
Post # 12
I would say something about it in a half joking way. For example “Ick! I hate that word!” and shudder and laugh. It will at least make them think about what they’re saying.
Post # 13
I think ALL cuss words are completely inappropriate in a work setting, mostly because they are bound to make someone uncomfortable. I have worked at organizations where cuss words flew all over the place and I feel it contributed to a overall bad culture of disrespect.
I don’t even take the Lord’s name in vain in front of mixed company, knowing how that can make some peoples’ ears burn.
Post # 14
I don’t know, I love to curse like a sailor, and think that word is pretty tame and use it often, lol. But it definitely depends on the office environment, every office is different. If you are the only person at that office who has a problem with the language, I’m sorry but I don’t forsee it changing if every other person including the manager is okay with it. I’d maybe say something nicely to them directly if you are really that tight knit, but if nothing changes you either have to learn to live with it or change jobs. Honestly there are much worse things to have to deal w/ from co-workers (oh the horror stories from friends I could tell you…Devil Wears Prada type abuse of power and such)