(Closed) Do you think this is a controlling thing for FH to say?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It wouldn’t bother me – it sounds like this is just him being insecure about his height, so if wearing flats will make him feel better I wouldn’t have an issue with it.

Post # 4
Member
3775 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

no issue.  He just doesn’t want to look short in his wedding pics.  Totally understandable.

Post # 5
Member
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think it’s controlling at all. I don’t blame him for asking you to wear flats.

Post # 6
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think it’s controlling at all, just a request or suggestion to you about something that makes him insecure. He could have handled it in a much more negative way. Pluuuus, you get the comfort of flats, like you pointed out.

*Bonus: You can still buy some rockin’ awesome heels for some sassy/sexy getting ready photos or photos of just the bride, since you said you love heels. Everyone wins πŸ˜‰

Post # 7
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

Doesn’t sound controlling at all πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Hostess
11166 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I agree with the PP, I don’t see it as controlling but rather him being honest with you about a potential insecurity.

My Fiance is only an inch taller than me and I wanted high heels. Before I bought my 4″ beauties I asked him how he would feel if I was 3″ taller than him at our wedding. He told me he honestly didn’t care since I usually wear heels anyway. I did ask him though because I felt like it was the right thing to do out of respect. We did agree though in pictures I will be taking my heels off so that we are normal height, perhaps you can suggest this to your Fiance as a happy medium?

Post # 9
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Treejewel19: I like that compromise idea as well.

@NatAndTy: I’d just make sure to hem your dress to flats length. Yes, your dress will be a bit higher when you’re wearing heels, but it won’t be bunching in photos or dragging while dancing. 

 

Post # 11
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

No, i think that’s just being honest about your insecurities and working with your partner to find a way to mitigate it. 

Post # 12
Member
3204 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think this is an issue, I would understand that he doesn’t want to feel short! Guys are funny about things sometimes πŸ˜‰

Post # 13
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

No I dont think it is controlling at all. Its nice that he can say how he feels and I completely agree with him about the height thing. To me the photographs would look ‘off’ if you were taller than him if your not IRL (wearing flats).

I wore flats on my wedding day and it was the best decision I made! I also wanted to get a pair of heels for some photos, but it was too hard to work out the hem height of my dress allowing for flats and a heel.

Post # 14
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think it’s an issue, and it doesn’t sound controlling at all, as you said he didn’t say you couldn’t wear heels or had to wear flats, he just said he would preferr you not be taller then him. He’s just insecure about it, and sharing his feelings, and that’s great that he’s talking to you about it.

Post # 15
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@NatAndTy: I don’t think it’s controlling at all. And if it makes you feel any better, the same exact thing is going on with me. I’m 5’1″ and my fiance is 5’3″. He mentioned the same thing and I have no issues with it. I’ll do whatever it takes to make him feel more comfortable about his insecurities… and my feet will thank me, too!

Post # 16
Member
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That wasn’t controlling at all. He was just sharing his preference.

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