(Closed) Do you think this is too expensive?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Personally, I think that’s a lot. I’m from Ohio, and my BMs probably spent around $300-700 on being on my wedding (depending on if they bought tickets to come into town for the shower/wedding, which I think they actually appreciated the excuse to come visit family/friends), and I thought that was a TON. If you can’t afford it, you tell her (or the other BMs, in the case of the shower/bach plans) that you can’t afford it. It’s not rude, it’s honest. Particularly as it seems that you’re willing to spend money, just not go over the top.

ETA: My estimates are based on gifts (which I totally didn’t expect- they were so generous!), shower, bachelorette, clothes/accessories, and travel. I paid for accomodations, and didn’t require professional hair/makeup (though a few got it anyway).

Post # 5
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t know what’s “normal” but this sounds awfully high and is, most definitely NOT keeping costs low, for you alone it’s over $1500?!?!?!

Maybe she doesn’t realize it’s so much, and if she does and still thinks it’s “low cost” she needs a reality check, kind or otherwise, though I think letting her know nicely and seeing what she says would be a good place to start.

Post # 6
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This sounds outrageous to me. There is no way I would be willing to spend the money just to keep down trouble. I don’t think it’s rude at all to let her know you simply can’t afford the cost, especially if you’re still a long way out from the wedding date. 

Post # 7
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yeah I think this is ridiculously expensive! My bridesmaid dress was $160 plus tax, but they can wear whatever shoes they want. I’m giving them a bracelet to wear, and paying for makeup for all of them. They all chose to have their hair done on their dime.

RE: my shower– my Maid/Matron of Honor sister hosted it and I think she split the price with my mom. My other bridesmaids are all broke so I never would have expected them to pay for any of it.

RE: my bachelorette– We are going to San Diego (2 hours away) for a night. I think my sister told me it would be about $90 per person plus cost of dinner and drinks, so no way more than like $150 per person. At least that I’m aware of, my bridesmaids don’t need to pay any more than any other person attending.

For my shower and my bachelorette, I never dictated what I wanted. I gave suggestions but never said we HAVE to go to San Diego etc.

I suggest you talk to your friend, and tell her that it is getting a little expensive for you. If she wants you all in same shoes, hair, jewelery, she should pay for it! Oh and do you need a limo for the bachelorette? Can’t you all just carpool? If not, I would assume everyone else attending should contribute.

Post # 8
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The dress cost alone is really high…..

My bridesmaids dress and shoes cost $120 total.

I’m paying for their hair and makeup.

My shower is at one of the girl’s places….

We do all live in the city though, so we’re going bar hopping. No limo.

Maybe someone can have a word with the bride.

Post # 9
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

oh yeah and this is all happening in NYC…

Post # 10
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

That’s quite pricey.  Seriously.  

Is it possible for you guys to talk to the bride about a less expensive bachelorette party option?  When I was in one friend’s wedding (ironically, it was in Pittsburgh), she suggested a limo or party bus for the bachelorette party, but it was just too much for the 4 of us to split, so we told her that, and she was totally fine with not doing it.  Instead we got a hotel room downtown so we could just walk to the bars and we all split it.  That was a much cheaper option.  

The shower also sounds really expensive.  Can you express your cost concerns to the other girls and see if there’s any way to bring that total cost down?  

As far as the dress and shoes go, you’ve already put a deposit down and agreed to that price, so there isn’t much that can be done about that.  Also, what kind of tuxes are they renting for $200?!  That sounds really high!

 

Post # 12
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i think that you need to tell her that you cannot afford all of these extras asap.  

i find the bride to be a bit demanding for her shower/bach party details.  if the bm’s are paying for these, they should be planning them based on their budget not the bride.

Post # 13
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That’s ridiculously expensive. I’ve never been a bridesmaid before, and not married yet, but I would never expect anyone to pay that much for my wedding.

Post # 14
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@alleria:  Even if people aren’t willing to spend the night, I think it would be a lot cheaper for people to find alternative rides home or to have a Dirty Delete take people home than to rent a limo. I know that’s what we did for my bachelorette.

Post # 16
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

That is craaaaazy. The limo part in particular.  I think y’all should put your foot down on that. Everything else is in the normal range, if on the high end. (I’m assuming she’s paying for your hair and makeup?) But spending more than $700 on a bach party is NUTSO.

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