Post # 46
Reading this thread makes me better understand why I have encountered multiple men who think that my CFBC decision is up for discussion or negotiation (it isn’t) or are willing to lie about also being CFBC under the assumption that I’ll change my mind once I figure out that all women want kids and those who don’t are just lying to themselves, or whatever. (At least the liars are easy to sniff out quickly, so I’ve never been strung along in a really painful way.)
Sigh. It’s frustrating.
Post # 47
I’m afraid I respectfully disagree too. Plenty of people don’t even understand the term CFBC. Certainly the people in my social circles don’t. Some haven’t even heard of it. People who choose to call themselves CFBC and then have children are not the reason you have idiots undermining your decision and saying things like “you’ll change your mind”. They’re going to do that whatever you call it. Someone who identifies as CFBC should not have to explain themselves to ANYBODY. That includes other people who identify as CFBC.
Post # 48
No, I don’t. I am in my mid-late 30s. I am sterilized. I have only become more grateful and certain of my choice to be childfree as the years pass. I am not at all drawn to having children, being around children, or the parenting life. This only becomes more and more clear to me as I live my life, know myself better, see the lives of family members and friends who do have children of all ages (whether happy with their choice or not, that life is not for me).
I am sooo glad I did what felt right for me, and did not pressure myself into kids as that is “what people do”, or “what if I regret it”, or “my partner wants them” or whatever.
Post # 49
I have met women who never wanted children and never changed their minds.
I know women who in college and their twenties expressed only disgust and boredom at the idea of babies and diapers. In their mid or late thirties, they were desperately pursuing every fertility treatment they could find. The change was really quite dramatic.
At the age of 28, a co-worker, couldn’t believe it when I said I would never marry because marriage was an institution that enslaved women. I will see you on your wedding day, he said. I got married at the age of 50.
Some people who never wanted kids are deliriously happy after they have a child that was unplanned; others resent the child.
A woman has to decide about kids based on how she feels now. What else can you do? It is certainly never ok to tell someone else that she will change her mind. Might, might not.