Do you tip friends who are catering/photographing your wedding? Gift??

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

coralmermaid :  I would either tip them what you can afford in money with a nice thank you card (I personally always think that a genuine, hand written thank you note is a little gesture that goes a long way), or maybe get them a gift to ‘treat’ them as they treated you (i.e., dinner at a nice/their favorite restaurant, etc.)  I think typically, friends that know they’re helping you out (especially if they volunteered to do it without being asked) aren’t expecting to be paid as they normally are, and that’s why it’s a favor to you.  If you’re worried about not tipping enough, be sure to calculate it based on their normal pricing so it will be a ‘normal’ tip.

Post # 3
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

coralmermaid :  Not exactly the same thing, but my Future Sister-In-Law offered to do the calligraphy and address our invites! They turned out gorgeous and I know it was very time consuming! She also threw one of our showers, so included in her Thank You card for that, I put a $25 Starbucks gift card. It’s nothing huge, but I wanted to show how grateful we were for all her help and she LOVES Starbucks! I don’t think either of your friends would be offended to receive a tip with cash or even a gift card, I think you should do it!

Post # 4
Member
1801 posts
Buzzing bee

my advice is to never use friends’ services! you can’t complain when the pics come back bad, you can’t get mad at them for enjoying the wedding and missing good pic opportunities, those are the only pics you’ll have forever and not something you want to mess up… no complaining about the food either, hope you like her cooking!

Post # 7
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee

Are people actually expected to tip the photographer and caterer after spending THOUSANDS of dollars paying for their services?!?! (Genuine question, I’ve never planned a wedding)

Post # 8
Member
3459 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

hermionegranger :  Unfortunately, yes. As ridiculous as that sounds to me it seems to be expected.

Post # 9
Member
1801 posts
Buzzing bee

coralmermaid :  I think you’re confused, I just said whomever pays has the right to complain about bad service. Have low expectations and prepare for disappointment when you take services for free. You get what you pay for in life.

Post # 10
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

hermionegranger :  Depends – it’s nice to tip if you feel it’s warranted and they don’t own their business (for example, I didn’t tip my photographer because she’s the owner of her photography company; however I did tip my DJ because he’s an employee of the DJ company).  That’s the ‘tip etiquette’ I’ve read, at least.

Post # 11
Member
4031 posts
Honey bee

yupmarried :   coralmermaid :  I think what yupmarried meant was just to give you a heads up that when you have friends and family as vendors for your wedding, is to not have high expectations and prepare yourself for something to go wary. As much as possible (understable if you are on a super-tight budget) it is not wise to because there comes a blurred line when they become vendors VS guests at your wedding. Can you really yell at your photographer friend if they missed a key shot such as a parents dance or cake cutting because they got a drink at the bar or bumped into a mutual friend to chat for 5 minutes? Many people won’t be able to because in the back of their minds, the photographer friend can always tell you, “well, I’m doing you a favor by taking pics in your wedding for free!” If you pay for an independent vendor, they have to deliver service because you are paying them and no emotional ties are involved. If you haven’t noticed, there has been a number of threads here about brides writing about strained relationships with friends/families who worked their wedding due to disappointments. 

However, if you’re Already decided to have friends work your wedding, it’s probably best to give them a gift card from their favorite store/restaurant to show gratitude. 

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