Post # 1
Had a bizarre experience yesterday. My mom wanted to get some paperwork filed and had to fill in a form at the bank. She ticked ‘Ms’ on the form instead of ‘Mrs’, as this is something she usually does. The lady across the counter went through the form confirming and checking the form, asked her if she’s married, and then proceeded to cut out ‘Ms’, presumably because she thought my mom ticked it in error, and ticked ‘Mrs’ instead. My mom didn’t say anything as she didn’t mind, but it surprised me that the lady didn’t even think or ask before doing this.
Do you use Ms, or pick the title that reveals your marital status (Miss/Mrs)?
Post # 2
mel76 : professionally I use Ms. Everywhere else in life I prefer Mrs. My boss actually referred to me as Mrs in a court filing once and I cringed so hard but technically he’s not wrong and I do use it so I let it go lol
Post # 3
mel76 : I don’t think I’ve had to fill anything out that asked me that since I’ve gotten married, I suppose I’d check Mrs. but I don’t really want anyone to call me Mrs. LASTNAME… guess it makes me feel old lol
Post # 4
I only use Ms. I used it before I was married and I still use it after. I don’t care for Mrs.
Post # 5
So many people don’t know the difference. I teach and none of my students/co-workers get it right. They know I’m engaged (to another teacher at the school) so I get Mrs. MyLastName a lot. They understand we don’t have the same last name yet, but Mrs. means I’m committed to someone.
I just roll with it. I’m planning to change it to Mrs. HisLastName once we’re married. My students will still probably call me both names.
Post # 6
I use Ms only, and have since I was about 15.
Post # 7
mel76 : The individual working at the bank should probably receive more training, as the change she made could have caused a misstatement in the documents. Also, was marital status relevant to the form? If not, it might have been inappropriate to ask.
For example, Mrs. (Client’s Last Name) could describe the client’s mother but not the client.
Post # 8
I use Ms. professionally until I complete my doctorate. I did change my name. I guess I use Mrs. socially, but honestly except for the addresses on cards from older family members, I can’t recall anyone actually calling me Mrs.
Post # 9
Very much prefer Ms.
Mrs. seems too old lady to me and Miss seems too little girl. 🤷♀️
Post # 10
Ms. 100%. I literally only ever want to be called Mrs. if my husband is being cutesy and calling me “Mrs. Jazzybee”.
Post # 11
I use Ms. for professional settings and Mrs. socially.
Post # 12
I used Ms. while I was unmarried because I’m a teacher and I find Miss to be really demeaning and for a younger person. Now I go Mrs. but I’m 100% okay with Ms. as well
Post # 13
I use Ms normally, but students generally default to Mrs and I don’t take the time to correct them.
But many adults have the misperception that Miss means never married, Mrs means married, and Ms means divorced. This, of course, is incorrect, as Ms is a choice and can be used by anyone.
Post # 14
As a child, I was taught that Ms. was used for women who were married but kept their own name. Now, as an adult, I realize this is only one situation where Ms. could be appropriate. Perhaps the bank person was taught the same way I was?
FWIW, I use Ms. for everyone now unless they’ve specifically indicated they prefer something different. Changing a formal title based on marital status feels weird to me. (I’m technically Dr. Maidenname as I am an MD, but I still sometimes get mail from older relatives addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Husbandsname and I do generally just shrug it off.)
Post # 15
I use Ms, and I get fairly ragey when people refer to me as Mrs. Men’s titles don’t change upon marriage, and ours shouldn’t either. I work in higher ed, and was taught in grad school that if you don’t have a doctorate, it’s far more professional to go by Ms. I actually even correct my students when they call me Mrs., because it’s better for them to learn sooner rather than later.
Socially, I cannot fathom anyone calling me anything other than my first name. We don’t have kids yet, but I’ll instruct their friends to either call me by my first name or “Miss Firstname” (we’re in the south) if their parents prefer more formality.