(Closed) Do you want him to ask for your parents blessing?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 47
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

I think he should and this is why. I don’t think age should matter for something like asking your father for permission. I think it is a respect thing. He is going to be apart of your family and if this is the case he should respectfully give your dad a heads up before he asks. Now this is just me, but I have asked my SO to ask both of my parents, not just my dad. I am independent as you and I am not a belonging so I also asked him not to ask for my hand in marriage (because they don’t own me), but rather have a conversation letting them know we are going to be getting married and how excited he is to blend our familes. That is just me though. I just wanted a modern twist on the whole proposal!

 

Post # 48
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I used to say yes, but I have 30 years under my belt and own a home with SO now.  I think it’s an age/independence thing.  

Post # 49
Member
380 posts
Helper bee

My SO and I have already talked about this and I’ve mentioned that I think it would be a sweet gesture if he asked my dad for his blessing. Not permission as such, but his blessing. My parents are pretty traditional and we both know without a doubt 100% my Dad would say YES you have my blessing (and probably “about darn time!”) so I just think it would be nice.

Post # 50
Member
1133 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Not at all.  He already asked me if it’s okay if he doesn’t, and I have no problem with it. It’s so awkward, he has a great relationship with my parents, but there’s no need to ask.  We are adults (I’m almost 24).

Post # 51
Member
2449 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Mine did. We were actually just talking about this tonight, cause we drove by the restaurant we were at when he asked my Dad. It was a good sized party for a friend and he got my Dad alone and they talked and my Dad said, “You’ve heard what else is happening?” and then Fiance knew that my sister’s Fiance had also recently asked my Dad. Too cute! Then the proposals happened only six days apart. 

Post # 52
Member
1029 posts
Bumble bee

I’d love it, but it’s not necessary. He’s very old-fashioned, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he does. He would have to ask my mom and step-dad instead of my dad though, because my dad and I don’t really speak. I guess he could call and ask for my dad’s blessing, but he would have to say “Sir, you don’t know me, but I’d like to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage.” haha

Post # 53
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee

It doesn’t matter to me if he does or not, BUT it does matter a lot to my Dad.  My dad has been very clear that as the only daughter out of 4 kids that it needs to happen.  He is very traditional, and has also said that if he doesn’t talk to him, he won’t help pay for the wedding.  He told my Boyfriend or Best Friend that at Thanksgiving last year, it was kind of awkward.  

Our issue, I live 3 hours from my parents, and my Boyfriend or Best Friend is 7 hours further away.  But I honestly think he already talked to him, because after last time I brought him home with me, the next two times I talked to my Dad on the phone he asked me if my Boyfriend or Best Friend was worth everything.

Post # 54
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

I kind of would like the bf to go to my parents and tell them what he’s planning to do–whenever that is–but I think he’s putting in a lot of thought into asking my dad for his ‘blessing’.

He doesnt even want to approach the matter until he has a secure job so he can tell my dad that he can ‘support’ me. My dad knows I’m an independent woman who would not be content to stay at home, so I really don’t see why it’s such a big issue. But, my boyfriend is traditional, and he wants to be the one to pop the question, so I can’t really tell him how he has to go about it.

We have looked at rings, and pretty much everybody in my family knows it’s going to happen. I’ve been waiting long enough, I say just ask me, I’ll say yes, haha. XD

Post # 55
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Regina Phalange:  LOL!! Mine too!!! My dad is completely easier  to please than mom!! Mom expects it!!

I would really be nervous about him asking before he proposes though. I’m sure I would find out and I want to be completely shocked.

Post # 56
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Nope.  Then again, my dad didn’t ask for my mom’s parents’ permission, either.  It’s a tradition from the days when women were essentially property and I don’t like that.  Plus, if my Fiance had asked my dad for permission, my father would have said no.

Post # 57
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee

He didn’t ask my dad, and I was totally okay with that. I actually told him that he didn’t have to ask.

My dad didn’t ask my mom’s father, either, so there was really nothing he could’ve said, LOL.

In fact…I don’t think ANYONE in my immediate family has asked the father’s permission first…odd. (And they have all stayed together…both grandparents are 50+ years and my parents are almost 20).

He talked with my dad that night, so I think that sufficed. There was no reason to ask permission. We asked for blessing together, AFTER the proposal. I knew my dad liked Fiance, so I wasn’t worried. Both parents knew it was coming, and they both approved.

 

 

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