Do you want to have children or are you CBC?

posted 2 months ago in Parenting
  • poll: Is having a child ( or two) important to you in your relationship?
    Childless by choice and we are happy with it. : (9 votes)
    31 %
    No, I want to be a parent at least once. : (13 votes)
    45 %
    Not now but we might in the future. : (7 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    435 posts
    Helper bee

    Childless by choice.

    Before we married, my DH mentioned how he never really wanted to have children before but now he could see having them with me. I figured he wanted to have kids, so I said that I had never wanted kids either but I would be open to having kids with him. But then we talked it out and realized that neither of us actually wanted kids and mistakenly thought that the other did.

    It went something like, “Oh you don’t want kids? Me? No, I don’t want kids. Wait, I thought YOU wanted kids!”

    So in the end, it worked out really well in that way.

    Post # 3
    Member
    603 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2017 - Cottage

    We both want kids, him more so than me. Maybe it’s cause he is 40? Idk he said he has always wanted to be a dad by 30 but didnt find the right girl (he was 35 when we met)

    I wanted kids on and off throgh my teen/early 20s. Baby fever came and went on/off from mid 20s till about 30. Im 32 now and I only want 1-2 kids with DH cause I know he will be an awesome dad and we make a great team and I do want a kid or 2. At some point in my mid 20s I wanted to have a kid even if I didnt find anyone to marry… now I only want kids with DH. If I was single right now I would have probably become CFBC or would be a fence sitter.

     

    We plan to start TTC next summer.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5861 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Childfree by choice. 

    It’s funny because as I’ve got older and more of our friends have had children I’ve become more tolerant of children, and don’t feel as awkward around them, but I want them even less. Nothing about parenthood appeals to me. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    2950 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    I guess you could say I was more so on the fence until I met my husband. I’ve always been interested in the experience of pregnancy and parenting. Interacting with kids has always been pretty natural/enjoyable to me and kids usually love interacting with me as well. However, I don’t think the choice to for sure want to have kids was something that I could really heavily put much thought into for myself until I met someone that I could feel secure in parenting with. My husband has always wanted children but, had I decided not to want kids, it wouldn’t have been a dealbreaker for him. We both would like to expand our family but it’s not a huge rush as there’s some things I’d like to do before then.

    Post # 6
    Member
    724 posts
    Busy bee

    He’s child free by choice, I was fence sitting til my ovaries decided to stage a coup against the rest of my body and I had to cut those sum’bitches out. So, not exactly “by choice” but I’m okay with the childlessness. I deal with kids all day; I don’t want to come home to more.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2467 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    My DH very much wants to have kids. I didn’t think much about it prior to being with him. I guess I’m indifferent about it. I’m definitely on board with having kids with him, but if he woke up tomorrow and said he didn’t want to have any, I’d be fine with that, too.

    Post # 8
    Member
    6923 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I could be happy either way. Growing up I always envisioned having kids some day but as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized it’s not a necessity for me. If my husband woke up tomorrow and said he changed his mind about kids I would be a little disappointed because I’ve gotten excited to TTC next year but it wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for me.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3914 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    olliebear7 :  I hate other people’s kids, I’ll just preface this entire ramble with that. A handful of my friends have kids and I’m just . . . not impressed. My niece is two and a half and while I love her dearly, I find myself staring at her sometimes like, “Why the *eff* are you screaming? Why did you break that? Please stop throwing stuff! Please listen to me! Why. Are. Your. Hands. Always. Sticky???” and she’ll do things and DH and I will just exchange what I call the “glance.” The “Thank Fucking Jesus We Get To Go Home To Our Quiet House” glance. I am also currently attached to the lifestyle DH and I currently have of having to worry about nothing and no one but ourselves. I will miss that once it is gone, that’s for sure. 

    I had always assumed I’d be a mom someday. Didn’t know when, but I knew I wanted to be a mom. I was always conflicted because I’ve always hated kids and before meeting DH, I secretly harbored a fear I wouldn’t be a good mom or that it made me a bad person. Then I met DH, who was absolutely amazing with children and who loves (certain) kids. I realized, if anything, we’d balance each other out. Then I got the dreaded PCOS diagnosis and as the years progressed, our chances of conceiving have dwindled. That was what made me realize how much I actually wanted to be a mom. The thought of not being able to get pregnant was a giant reckoning for me and DH and I realized we would be parents regardless, through adoption/fostering/surrogacy, whatever we needed to do. 

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    2302 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Hell no! No kids here!

    Post # 11
    Member
    195 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017 - Sauk Valley Resort

    I want like 4. FI is thinking more like 2. We’ll see how the first one goes. Planning on TTC next year, late summer/early fall after we find a house.

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