(Closed) Do you want X number of kids because…

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I definitely want more than ONE kid…I’m an only child, but I got the opportunity of growing up with “older sisters” because my mom helped take care of her sibs kids.  It was a pretty lonely 9 years before they came along, & I only got to live with them in the house for about 4 years.  DEFINITELY want 2 or 3 kids.  Luckily, Fiance is happy to have two since he grew up as the older of two boys.  We’re agreed that we’ll try for two & leave the possibility of a third up to God.

Post # 4
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Yes!  We would both be very happy with one, since we were both only children and generally, liked it quite a bit.  The problem, though, is that Fiance really wants a boy and I really want a girl…so we might end up with two!  But we certainly do not want more than two, even if we don’t end up with “one of each”.  We loved being onlys and would like to raise a similar sort of family!

Post # 5
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Eh… it is still up in the air actually. I think he likes the idea of 1 child, while I’m more inclined to have 2. The only reason I really want 2 kids, is so the other one won’t be lonely. I was lonely growing up, even though I have 4 older brothers, but they were all out of the house by the time I was 6 years old, so I always felt alone. I want our child to have someone to play with and grow up with.

Post # 6
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I grew up the eldest of 3 girls and Darling Husband is an only child. We are basically agreed on 2. Darling Husband will occasionally do or say something and I’ll just roll my eyes and say “only child” – his mother did her best but there is only so much you can do. I think it’s unfair to only have one – the child is always outnumbered by parents. At least make the playing sides even πŸ™‚ Plus, it is really a great thing to share your childhood with others. No one else can ever understand your family like your siblings. My sisters and I aren’t particularly close but we still share so much and can laugh at the same memories and it’s a really great bond to have, one I wouldn’t want to deny anyone. That said, we’re not even close to TTC (or even thinking about it) so all this could change one day.

Post # 7
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have a lot more aunts, uncles and cousins than my Fiance does and that has definitely influenced me to want to have a bigger family. He always tells me that we can have as many children as we can be responsible for financially. I love that answer because it doesn’t put a limit or create high expectations

Post # 8
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Well, I am the oldest of 3 children and Fiance is an only child.  We want two kids for a few reasons:  A) I’m hoping for a girl and a boy and we agree that we would idealy like one of each, B) Fiance always wanted a sibling and I enjoyed mine so we figured that having more than one would be good.  I think 3 would be a bit much for us to handle not to mention that my profession doesn’t exactly bring in the big bucks.

Of course, we’ll see what happens after the first one, LOL

Post # 9
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I was 9 before my sister was born, so I feel like I have a good understanding of what it means to be a sibling and an only child. I want 2 because I found being an only child very lonely, and I personally think I become less selfish after my sister was born.

Fiance is the youngest of 3, but is the only one raised by his parents. He has some issues with his siblings, so he is happy with one.  At the moment we say we are going to start with one and take it from there.

Post # 10
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Is it awful that part of my wants more than 2 just because Fiance always talks about how his family was perfect and the way they did things and reasons for doing so were “right”, and he was 1 of 2?  It’s like my wiay of showing him “Nah uh, 3 (or more) can be good too (especially since I was 1 of 4)”  Haha;)

I adore kids and want as many as we can afford and comfortably and properly raise.  Being 1 of 4, I liked being part of a bigger family, and was jealous that all my cousins were 1 of 5 kkids (my parents were 1 of 5 and 1 of 6, prolly would have had more themselves but had MAJOR issues conceiving!!).

Post # 11
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

I always wanted one child until recently. (I’m an only-child myself-he has a brother) Now, I think I want two so they won’t be lonely. Sibling bonds seem so wonderful to me and of course I didn’t have that. PLUS, I would like to have a girl and boy. Having fraternal twins (boy/girl) would be just perfect.  πŸ™‚ I know the chances on this one are super slim, but you never know!

Post # 12
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Initially, I wanted two (I’m 1 of 2) and he wanted three (he’s 1 of 3!) I think we’re both just used to how we grew up and it feels right. Now, I think we’re both open to just seeing how life is going. I definitely want more than 1, but since I plan to be a working mother don’t think I’d be able to handle more than 3….so we’ll just see how we feel after 2.

Post # 13
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Okay, I’m torn on this one. 

I love how bigger families (4 or more children) come together and interact as adults.  In my later years I would love to be surrounded by 4 or more grown adult children. 

However, for now I can’t even imagine raising 4 little ones!!!! I was 1 of 2 and Darling Husband was 1 of 4.

Realistically we’ll probably have 2 because of time, energy and space!  However, if I could ever persuade Darling Husband, I might try for 3 or 4 just for kicks πŸ˜‰

Post # 14
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We agreed on 2-3.  We both want 3, but obviously as we have no kids now, we’re not sure if we’ll change our minds after 2 or not!  I was worried previously about affording 3 kids, but he will be an accountant and I will be a teacher so combined we should be more than fine.

Post # 15
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yes, that’s how it is for us! 

I’m the only, R is one of two. 

I was pretty miserable during a lot of my childhood situations. We moved 7 times, all in different towns and a few states. It wasn’t for any real reason except that my mom always thinks somewhere else will be better. As an only child, I was horribly lonely and had a hard time making friends after awhile, because I got so little socialization at home and always felt we’d be moving again soon. 

My mom was also a little, er, crazy, and being the only child meant that it was always directed at me. There are a lot of situations that would have been much better if I had someone to shoulder the responsibility of not letting my parents down/giving them the attention they wanted. Example: when I was 16, they were adamant that I get a part-time job and save for college, pay for clothes, groceries, and my cell phone. About two months into the job, I came home and my mom screamed at me that I was never home, I hated them, etc. To this day she still does that to me (I don’t live at home…) and I think it would have happened a lot less if I had had a sibling. 

R was pretty happy having a sibling! She came first, so she was a little more spoiled in some things (she got to pick out a new car when she was 15 that she had unlimited access to all throughout high school, and considered hers) but the Future In-Laws soon realized many of those things spoiled her, and R didn’t always get the same treatment. For a little while he was bitter, but he’s really grateful now. His all around family situation was much better than mine, and it makes it way easier on R and his sister that there’s someone else to shoulder the responsibilities. 

Wow, that was long! Sorry!

Post # 16
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

@Twalia- I’m sort of the same too! My husband thinks 2 kids, a boy and a girl (girl being the older one), close in age is just absolutely perfect, because that’s what he had. But, um, I was one of four and I turned out pretty dang well if I do say so myself!

 

But, I would like to have 3. growing up as 1 of 4, it always seemed like one person was getting left out or picked on or something and I’d joke to my mom she had one kid too many. It made sharing a lot harder with 4. We weren’t rich by any means, and there were quite a few times where I wouldn’t have even classified us as “well off” so we only had so many resources to go around. One tv, one computer, one of a certain toy, etc. It definitely caused fighting and in boredom, it usually left one kid picked on. When it was just the 3 of us (maybe one went to a birthday party, or a friends house, didn’t matter which one as gone) we got along much better. Even my dad commented on this before and agreed with my observation. I love having siblings though, and I liked having extended family too (my mom was one of 4 and so was my dad, but we never spoke with my dad’s side). but from my experiences, 4 was pushing it.

I will say that I’m very bad about sharing food now that I’m grown lol Too many times my parents would buy a snack and someone else would eat it all before everyone got to have some. As we got older and could buy our own stuff sometimes, we’d have to write our name on it so nobody took it, and even that wasn’t always a sure thing. Now I hate sharing food. Old habits die hard lol It doesn’t help that my husband is a bottomless pit and “one bite” is a ginormous see-how-much-can-fit-in-your-mouth bite or “one sip” really equals gulping half of it… but yeah, definitely a result of having to fight over getting enough of the junk food lol None of us were over weight though!

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