(Closed) Do you want your FI to help?

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: Do you want FI's help?
    Nope I am perfectly happy making all the choices : (5 votes)
    8 %
    I want him to help with small things like colors or theme but other then that no : (5 votes)
    8 %
    I want him to choose the big things besides the ring- like 1st dance song : (10 votes)
    17 %
    I want him to help with 50% : (7 votes)
    12 %
    I want him to help in almost everything! : (22 votes)
    37 %
    I want him to help even with BM dresses and my dress! : (0 votes)
    I want his help 100% : (10 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5242 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I try and ask his input on things or at least just show him the stuff I want but basically the decisions are mostly made by me in the end lol

    Post # 4
    Member
    5428 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I sort of make the decisions (doing all the research and phoning for prices) and ask him about them. If he likes them, then we go for it, if he doesn’t, I keep looking…

    Post # 5
    Member
    9687 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wanted his help, hoped for it, and he’s given it to me 100%.  We’ve made all the decisions jointly.  And, I must say, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by his interest and involvement.  At first I wasn’t sure how he’d feel talking every day about flowers, music, vows, venue, etc., but he’s been in on every decision and has even shopped with me for DIY supplies – willingly!  LOL.  ๐Ÿ™‚  It’s been fun.  The closer it gets the more into it he is, too.

    Post # 6
    Member
    9647 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    i want his help in everything besides my dress, and maybe the bm dresses, i want it to be our wedding, a reflection of both our tastes, not just mine ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 7
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Yep, my Fiance had a bit of a groomzilla moment when we were picking colours.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2692 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Mainly just huge stuff, like picking certain vendors, like caterer, sinc ehtat is pretty much the main focus of any event: the food.  Other stuff I handle on my own…smaller details, DIY, etc.  I ask for his opinion or ask for his imput but for the most part I am planning on my own.  

    He is doing all the paper stuff and putting our music playlist together for the DJ. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    9687 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @drummerbride:  LOL!  That’s too funny!!

    Post # 10
    Member
    355 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    No ring yet, but SO (Future FI!) is getting very iterested in planning.  A few weeks ago he swore all he cared about was the menu. But he was a Groomsmen last weekend, and now he’s asking lots of questions about what he and the GM will wear, what colors I’m thinking, etc. Since he and I have pretty simliar taste I’m thrilled that he is excited (plus it’s got to mean the ring is almost on my finger!)

    He brings me fresh flowers every week or so and always picks pretty and inexpensive bouquets. I asked him if he would be willing to just use the budget I tell him and take my color scheme to the florist and surprise me with what he picks. Well last night I come home home and he’s in my kitchen trying to arrange these gorgeous 3 foot tall flowers into a vase. I made a comment about how they are so different from what he usually chooses. He said he was experimenting with possible centerpieces, and what inexpensive flowers will look fancy. ๐Ÿ™‚

    So sweet!

    Post # 11
    Member
    11356 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I definitely wanted my then-FI’s/now-DH’s involvement and input on all major, wedding-related decisions (wedding date and location, venue selection, ceremony decisions, ceremony music, dinner menu and hors d’oeuvres selections, wedding cake flavors etc.) as well as some less important decisions (hotels for room blocks, favor choices, unity-sand kit, reception music, etc.)  However, I pretty much planned the remainder of our wedding (our wedding colors, the bridesmaids’ dresses, the flower girl’s dress, photography, videography, DJ, limo, our flowers, etc.) myself.  This was partially because Darling Husband lived three hours away from me and was not really available to meet with most of the vendors, and partially because he did not really have an interest in those topics, and I am very picky. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 12
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Sunfire:  It really was too, considering it was over a specific shade of purple. I’m glad he cares though.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    4893 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I want him to want to help. We’re pretty far out so things could change, but he currently has no interest in the wedding. He wants to be married, but he doesn’t care how we get there. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I want my Fiance to come to appointments and bookings with me, but he’s not generally a very opinionated person. In most cases, for small decisions, I make them. The wedding is no different, he is indifferent to almost everything, but he does want to help pick out the venue, food, and entertainment. He could not care less about things like centerpieces though.

    Post # 15
    Member
    745 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    He’s done most of the research, he’s doing the decorations, and he picked the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses (well, they are groomsmaids, actually). It’s not MY wedding, it’s our wedding. I want him to be involved in all of it, and he wants to.

    He isn’t helping with my dress, and I’m not helping with his outfit. We can dress ourselves, and they’re going to both be surprises.

    Post # 16
    Member
    272 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    So far, I’ve done the bulk of researching vendors – everything from venue to caterer to photographer. I narrow down the options to 2-3 that are pretty different, and we discuss which is our favorite and why. I’m a quick researcher and very detail-oriented, and he will get things done but at a snail’s pace – and that would really stress me out. He and I are both happy with this arrangement so far.

    Also, the only reason green is one of our wedding colors is because it’s his favorite color. I got eggplant purple, so I’m happy!

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