(Closed) Do you want your SO to ask for your hand?

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Do you want your SO to ask for your hand?

    Yes - because it is personally important to me

    Yes - because I know it is important to my parent(s)

    Yes - other reason

    No - it's not important to me or my parents

    No - other reason

  • Post # 47
    Member
    193 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Yes. I was very happy when I realized fiance had asked for my hand. I think it’s important to me because I feel like it’s respectful to my dad, and my dad and I are really close, so even though I knew my dad would say yes, I think it was a nice gesture.

    Plus one of my favorite memories of my entire life happens to be watching my dad and fiance sneak away from my cousin’s birthday party, my dad’s arm around fiance’s shoulder, and the two of them quietly talking. I knew what they were talking about and I must say I shed a few happy tears. I wish I had had a camera in hand to capture the moment. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and the love of my life was asking my dad for my hand. Swoon.

    Post # 48
    Member
    81 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Nooo. No way. No how. In my family, this would be funny at best, awkward at worst. I am the only one who can speak for my hand – thank you. 

    Post # 49
    Member
    740 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars

    No, I don’t really care if he asks.  In fact, I kind of don’t like the idea that my parents would have to give permission.  I am my own woman!  Smile

    But, I think my parents would really like it if he did.  So, I’m okay either way.  I do really like what PP have said about asking for a blessing, rather than permission.

    Post # 50
    Member
    3997 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I do want Fiance to ask my parents (BOTH, not just my dad) for their blessing, not permission, when the time comes. I just feel it’s polite for him to give them a heads up and make sure everything is good to go haha. It’s both important to me and Fiance. It’s respectful and it’s a nice way to include them. We’re very close with my parents.

    I’m not really sure if my parents would mind if he didn’t, but I know they would appreciate the gesture. When I asked my dad if he’d asked for my grandparents’ blessing before he proposed to my mom he said “no, I asked your mother” haha. So it’s hard to tell if it’s something he would like. Better safe then sorry (:

    Post # 51
    Member
    1065 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    That would be really awkward.  It’s so unfathomable to me that I’m not quite sure how I’d react.  Neither of us were raised with those values though, so it wasn’t even a question.

    Post # 52
    Member
    313 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    @luckyprincess: I agree with your response 100%–it was important for him to NOT ask for my hand, because I am not my parents’ property and they have no say in the decision of who I marry.

    Post # 53
    Member
    46 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’m not a very familial person. I’m actually quite concerned about how involved my mom will be in my wedding/wedding planning… and while I will invite my dad, I don’t expect him to be involved at all. He may not even get a plus one.

    But since gettng married will be a momentuous occassion for me, I hope that my boyfriend will honor and respect my mother for raising me and ask her for my hand. I bet my mom would be totally surprised that my bf asked her and I hope that it would make her happy and feel included.

    As for my dad… yea, I don’t my bf not to bother asking for my hand from him…

    Post # 54
    Member
    1443 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    my dad kicked me out at 19, and my mom has been absent as a parent since I was 15, so I guess it really doesn’t matter in my case.  I’ve always wondered about the whole walking alone down the asile thing, myself.

    Post # 55
    Member
    40 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    While I certainly wouldn’t decline a proposal if SO didn’t talk to my parents first, I would really like it if he did.  My parents wouldn’t require it either, but I think they would be very touched. 

    More than anything, I think it gives the guy a chance to say “I love your daughter, and I want to take care of her for the rest of my life.  You have nothing to worry about”.  My parents adore SO, so it’s not like they’d be worried anyway, but I really like the idea of him having a heart to heart with them about becoming part of our family.

    BUT – I hope to God he only talks to my dad, because my mom is a huge blabbermouth and I could never forgive her for ruining the surprise!!

    Post # 56
    Member
    143 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    SO asked my parents LAST NIGHT for their blessing and my parents talked to him for almost 3 hours! They told him they were honored that he had approached them and “did it right” and that he was a great fit for the family.

    My parents had questions for him:

    • What do you love enough about her to marry her?
    • Why our daughter?
    • What makes you think that your marriage will be a success?

    He told me the short verson of what happened and I cried. I respect him more now than I ever did before and I can’t wait till he asks ME!

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