(Closed) Do you wear your engagement rings to interview?

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: Do you wear your engagement rings to interview?
    Yes : (110 votes)
    80 %
    No : (23 votes)
    17 %
    Don't know : (5 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    507 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

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    misste :  A company reached out to me on LinkedIn with an interesting opportunity a couple of years ago. I decided to interview to learn more about the company and role. I wore my engagement ring, I stayed with my current employer (stability reasons). However, it never crossed my mind to “not” wear my ring. 

    My current employer has 20k employees so there are women in different phases of life. I can’t imagine an employer passing up a good candidate due to marital status. 

     

    Post # 17
    Member
    2990 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    I consider interviews to be kind of like dating and jobs to be like committing to a relationship, if that makes any sense? So false advertising on either side is bad IMO. I wear a slightly more formal version of what you can expect me to look like on a daily basis. I wear my rings. And I answer all questions 100% honestly, such as “I don’t have any personal experience with x but I if I was faced with that situation I’d do y/I have a, b, and c skills which I feel are similar because reasons.” 

    I also view interviews as just as much a test for the employer as the prospective employee. I mean, do you enjoy working for a sexist asshat? I know I wouldn’t, and aside from my boss moving on up in the world and being replaced by an idiot I’ve never had a bad boss. So I’d wear that ring to weed out undesirables. 

     

    Post # 18
    Member
    410 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

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    misste :  I always take my wedding set off for interviews. I feel like they only see $$ for how expensive a family health insurance plan would be.

    Post # 19
    Member
    678 posts
    Busy bee

    I didnt wear mine. I still got asked if I was married or had kids a couple of times, though. My last employer was hesitant to hire a single mother because she thought she’d have to take off too much (my boss also had kids and took off for them sometimes, so that was hypocritical). I would keep your marital status and kid situation under wraps just in case. Oh, and the single mother didnt get the job, but it wasnt just due to her kids. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    708 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Her discrimination against women who are engaged etc. Is completely illegal. I don’t see anything wrong with wearing a ring, if anything I can’t sit there and say yes I’m engaged and getting married a Year X date so I will need these days off if I’m not wearing a ring.

    the last three jobs I got I’ve worn my ring, I have mentioned I am getting married in October and it’s never hurt my chances of getting a job. I am a legal assistant if that makes a difference. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    590 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2017 - Nepal

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    misste :  I didn’t wear mine to interview with my current employer. Like some PPs, I work in a male-dominate environment. I didn’t want the stigma that I would be consumed with wedding planning then shortly after having children, because you know that’s all us women care about 😉. Even though I didn’t wear my ring to the interview, my boss asked if I plan to get married and have children. My response was “not in the foreseeable future”. I keep my personal and professional life separate and no one I work with even knew I got married last month. Yes as discriminatory as it is, I see why this would be a concern for some employers when your absence effects their business efficiency.

    Post # 22
    Member
    10541 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I always wear my engagement ring and wedding band. I have zero desire to work for someone like your boss so if me doing something as simple as wearing the rings I wear every day is going to weed out employers like that, I’m completely fine with not getting a job offer because of it.

    Post # 23
    Member
    4216 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

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    misste :  I proudly wear my rings and would not want to work for someone whose values differ so greatly from my own to the point that it might have an impact on my advancement. What happens if you get the job? Will you not wear your rings to work? The boss would eventually find out you’re engaged or married, and then what? Will you get passed up for promotions because of it? I wouldn’t want those questions lingering in the back of my mind. And I do work for a boss who is married, but did not have children because she thought it would hinder her success (this job is her life). Fortunately, she doesn’t seem to hold that against anyone else in the office, and offered me a job knowing full well that I was a newlywed. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    253 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    As someone who has done hundreds of interviews, I can tell you that I really don’t care about someones marital status and legitimately probably couldn’t tell you after an interview if they were wearing a ring (unless they were playing iwth it or nervously doing something with their hands maybe). That being said, I know a lot of people who are judgemental about that kind of thing. HOWEVER, in my experience, the judgemental people are the opposite and are judging those who are single (looking at it in terms of “lack of commitment and stability” – ugh!). The only time I could see removing it (maybe!) would be if you have a massive/flashy ring and are looking for work at a non-profit or something along those lines, but even then, it is who you are. Also, there’s a good chance if you get the job it will come out that you hid it, and that looks really bad IMO.

    Also, do you want an employer who is going to judge you on that type of thing? Maybe you don’t care if that’s your current manager’s only flaw, but it’s something to consider.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1593 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

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    dublingirl :  Oh completely agree, it is 100% illegal, however who has the time to make a formal complaint etc for a first round interview :/

    It was a job I really wanted as it would have been a great opportunity to take a step up in my career, so in all honesty if I did it again, I wouldn’t have worn my ring as I do think it would have increased my chances of getting the job.

    Post # 26
    Member
    3368 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I actually can’t believe the amount of people on this thread who have been asked in interviews if they plan on getting married/having children, that is horrific and illegal (at least where I live, is this not a law in the USA?)!! If anyone ever said that to me in an interview I would look them dead in the face and say “did you actually just ask me that”? It seems like some people discrimiate against all women of childbearing or childrearing age whether or not they are engaged/married!

    Post # 27
    Member
    670 posts
    Busy bee

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    youngbrokebride :  I think because the repercussions OF asking at quite big in Ireland, plenty of people would take the time to complain. It’s just not a thing here any more, there we’re a few high profile cases & people learned, although our population is so tiny in comparison to the US so that probably helps!!

    Post # 28
    Member
    853 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    It never would have occurred to me not to wear my engagement ring to an interview when I was engaged. I don’t think I would want to work for anyone who read that much into an engagement ring or discriminated against someone wearing one, not to mention assumed that I wouldn’t be invested in the role or capable of the job.

    Post # 29
    Member
    6308 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

    I have conducted hundreds of interviews, both on my own and together with other managers, and not once has the marital status been considered/mentioned during the decision making process.  I personally don’t even pay attention to a ring, as I’m too busy trying to read the candidate’s character and how suitable she/he is for the job.  I have always worn mine, haven’t even thought about not wearing it.

    Post # 30
    Member
    2345 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I wore my rings to a job interview. I was actually a bit conscious of it, it seemed to be catching the light a lot. I might not on a future occasion even though probably being a silly  

    I’d like to say that in your shoes I’d wear it out of principle, but I don’t think I would. You won’t change this woman by either wearing it or not wearing it and a job is at stake. 

    Once in, I would argue with her on this point when she raises it in the future. It is discrimination and it’s bollocks. Employees without children leave for opportunities elsewhere, as do those with children. You could argue that parents are more likely to be risk-averse so less likely to flit. Swings and roundabouts. 

    My husband’s business has recruited on potential, from a diverse range of backgrounds, single parents with small babies, a woman with a significant caring role for her elderly mother. It’s not statistically significant, but it just happens that over 10 years, the only 5 inadequate employees were 3 middle-aged men with older/ no children; and two very young, unattached women. Regretted leavers have been 1 young woman and 1 young man, she had no ties, he had a baby, both poached for higher salaries – fair enough. 

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