(Closed) Do you wish you had babies sooner, later, or was the time just right?

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: How do you feel about your timing

    I wish I had waited longer.

    I wish I had started sooner.

    The timing was perfect

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1470 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    age your first baby was born:27

    how do you feel about the timing? In hindsight was it perfect or would you have preferred to wait longer or have gotten pregnant sooner? I think the timing was great. We were married for just over 2 years by then, but we both lived independent lives for many years, traveled, lived different places, etc. I wouldn’t have wanted any sooner, I can see having waited another year or so, but at the time, I wouldn’t have wanted to wait. I’m happy with it.

    if you could  the go back to your baby free days, what would you enjoy the most? Sleeping! (Haha). But really, snuggling in bed with DH on weekends with nowhere we needed to go, getting up and having coffee together, etc. Just quiet, responsibility-free mornings. But now we get to snuggle and play with our little one, and he is so awesome and brings us so much job (even when I only get a few hours of sleep…)

    best thing about being a parent?? The way my little guy looks at me. Full of trust and love. He brings my husband and I closer together (I LOVE watching him be a dad), and he is just awesome. 

     

    Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/do-you-wish-you-had-babies-sooner-later-or-was-the-time-just-right#ixzz2gZk0mtFS

    Post # 18
    Member
    5473 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    age your first baby was born:31, a month shy of 32

    how do you feel about the timing? In hindsight was it perfect or would you have preferred to wait longer or have gotten pregnant sooner? I’m glad I waited as long as I did.  I’m young enough that pregnancy wasn’t terribly hard on my body, but old enough that I don’t feel like I missed out on my 20s.

    if you could go back to your baby free days, what would you enjoy the most?  The only thing I miss is the fact that my body doesn’t belong to me anymore.  First, being pregnant, I was so aware of what was going on with my body.  Now I’m breastfeeding, so I still have to be aware of how much I drink, certain medications, etc.  I don’t have control over my body and as a former marathoner/athlete, that is really challenging.

    best thing about being a parent??  Those little moments when you make eye contact and the rest of the world stops for just a brief time.  For example, on Sundays I sometimes lay down and take a nap with Dear Daughter in my bed.  I lay on my side facing her, and she wraps her tiny little fingers around mine, and she stares into my eyes, and for a fleeting moment she smiles and drifts peacefully to sleep.  It absolutely melts me.  

    Post # 19
    Member
    1115 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’ll be 36 when we have our first.  I feel like the timing is perfect.  Trust me I always “thought” i’d have kids earlier but that is not what life had planned for me.  And sure I sort of wish I was a little younger b/c being older means more tests/many more tests while pregnant and more dr visits, etc.  But being this age I truly feel I didnt’ “miss” out on anything, I feel more stable and ready to have a family but even at this age it’s still terrifying.  I also worry that I might not be able to keep up with baby b/c of my age, but I think I’ll adapt. 

    The thing I miss most is being able to be more free with our finances, with baby on the way we have to plan, plan, plan and I’d rather just spend, spend, spend ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 20
    Member
    919 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    View original reply
    @sn2bmrsmntgmry:  I will probably be 36 by the time we have our first as well. I do wish I weren’t quite so old to be having kids, but it took this long to find the right guy. I wouldn’t have wanted to have them before finding him. I had originally wanted to have all my kids by the time I was 30, but life had other plans for me.

    Post # 21
    Member
    1188 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    how do you feel about the timing? In hindsight was it perfect or would you have preferred to wait longer or have gotten pregnant sooner?  27.  Perfect.  We were old enough to be stable, have a solid relationship, plenty of money, the ability for me to stay home, and young enough to have plenty of energy and time to spend with them.

    if you could go back to your baby free days, what would you enjoy the most?  I enjoyed being able to travel on whim without planning things out or worrying about going somewhere that’s too far of a flight/drive for them to handle.

    best thing about being a parent??  Everything.  I love spending hours building castles in the sand, hiking through woods, playing make believe, baking cookies, teaching them new things, etc.  I love how being a parent has made me a better person.

    Post # 22
    Member
    1115 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    View original reply
    @Krispi:  nice!  Best of luck to you!  My pregnancy has been pretty great so far.  I was worried about how my “older” body would handle it but so far so good ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 24
    Member
    919 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    View original reply
    @sn2bmrsmntgmry:  That’s good to hear! We’ve only been married 2 months so far, so we are waiting a little longer to get finances in order and for me to get further along in my grad school program. We’ll probably try around this time next year, and I just turned 35 a few weeks ago. Most days I don’t feel it though.

    Post # 25
    Member
    4494 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    No kids yet and not in a rush. We plan to be around 29-30ish. I’ve been with my Fiance for 12 years, so waiting has had nothing to do with finding the right man ๐Ÿ˜› We just want to travel and be on our own for a while. I’m 27 and honestly I still feel too young to have kids :-/

    Post # 26
    Member
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    age your first baby was born: 31 (due in 5 weeks)

    how do you feel about the timing? In hindsight was it perfect or would you have preferred to wait longer or have gotten pregnant sooner? Granted this could change since baby is still on the way, but I am happy with this timing.  

    We have been able to do things as single people, as a couple that we would likely not have done either due to responsibilities or lack of cash if there was a kid. We were able to afford a nice house in a very family friendly neighborhood to raise our child.  We have some neighbors our age with newborns and we are all good friends since we are sharing the same lifestyle now. We not only have small kids, but we still have extra cash so we can all get together to do stuff. 

    If we had had kids earlier something would have been a tradeoff. Now I feel like there is no tradeoff.

    if you could go back to your baby free days, what would you enjoy the most? Not sure yet, but I suspect it will be sleep initially ๐Ÿ™‚

    best thing about being a parent?? TBD

    Post # 27
    Member
    127 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @krispi: I feel the same way you do. I just got married a yr ago at 33, now at 34 we finally are seeing what happens. When I was younger my ideal would have been to get married at 25 and have my first at 27/28. But life had a different path for me that I wouldn’t change for the world. I got to have fun in my 20’s, travel and sustain a job where I can take care of myself. Looking back on the men I dated I am so happy I had waited for marriage because I wouldn’t have wanted to have children with any of them! 

    Post # 28
    Member
    2965 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I was 18, 3 months from being 19 when I had my first child so yeah, I wish I would have gotten on some BC when I became sexually active. I wanted to wait till after college but my husband at the time didn’t and wanted a family soon after we were married. I had my 2nd child at 20, 2 weeks from turning 21 so yeah, once again, I had to grow up fast and my last child I was 23, 2 months before I turned 24. I don’t regret my kids at all but I wish I would have waited.

    The ONLY positive thing I see about having kids early is having them out of the house sooner, so I will be in my mid 30s when they leave the nest, still young enough for DH and I to travel alone together and have more us time.

     

    Post # 29
    Member
    2810 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    age your first baby was born: 25

    how do you feel about the timing? In hindsight was it perfect or would you have preferred to wait longer or have gotten pregnant sooner? It was perfet. We were both ready mentally, financially, everything. It has all worked out very well!

    if you could go back to your baby free days, what would you enjoy the most? Cleaning less. lol My daughter (who is 2) is like a tornado. I have to tidy my house multiple times a day. It’s a never ending task.

    best thing about being a parent??  The love. The love for her. The love she has for me. & the laughter. I’ve never laughed more in my life since having her!

     

    Post # 30
    Member
    3088 posts
    Sugar bee

    First at 30

    Second at 31

    Timing? Perfect. However, I got divorced and became a single parent to a 2 and 3 year old – not so perfect of a situation.

    But my kids are growing well, healthy and happy – damn hard work and the same for any age.

    Will be married next year and fiance wants a kid. I told him, I am not feeling it.  I am 35 and gaining a modicum of my freedom back now that they are 4 and 5.

     

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