(Closed) Do you wish you had kids sooner or later?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
  • poll: If you had to do it over, would you...
    have kids earlier? : (23 votes)
    70 %
    have kids later? : (10 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    1301 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @guitargirl:  there’s no option for being happy when you had kids..? 

    Post # 5
    Member
    2493 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Although our Dirty Delete was unplanned, I’m happy we had her when we did. If she had been conceived at any other time, she wouldn’t be ‘her’, y’know? And, she’s seriously the greatest kid EVER (although, I could be bias… just take my word for it, though. ;]).

    I wish we would have TTC #2 sooner, however. Our Dirty Delete is now 8-years-old, so there is going to be a major age gap between our kids. Darling Husband is fine with it because we both have siblings who are 10 years younger than we are… but, he doesn’t take into consideration there were also siblings born BEFORE them, lol. Oh well, it’s not like we can rewind time, so I have to just get used to where we are, now.

    Post # 6
    Member
    10714 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I had my son when I was 19 and got pregnant when I was in high school. Not ideal but now 8 years later I’m glad. I don’t wish I had him any later but I do wish I would have had another baby sooner because now my time is coming close to our cut off and were not sure how long it’s going to take to conceive. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    My husband and I started ttc as soon as we were married, but 2.5 years later and still no joy.  Unfortunately, we didn’t meet until I was 33 and weren’t married until I was 34 (nearly 35), so there wasn’t really a chance of us starting to try earlier.  Had I met him earlier etc, then yes, I would have loved to have started ttc much earlier then I did!

    Personally (hindsight being amazingly clear of course lol), I wouldn’t hold off ttc for a job or vice versus.  You just never know what life is going to throw you, so if you are both ready, I’d go ahead and go for it.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1737 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I never even wanted kids but I got unexpectedly pregnant at 22. I wouldn’t trade my baby girl for anything but I do wish I’d been a bit more responsible and waited longer. Actually the age I’m at right now (27) would have been perfect, I think.

    ETA: My aunt and uncle had their first (and only) child when my aunt was 38. Took them a few years of TTC but they finally got her! It just depends on what time feels right for you.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5670 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Darling Husband is 28 and I’m 26 and we just had our first. I think it’s a perfect age for us. We already own a home, have been married or 2 yrs, and are pretty settled so for us it’s perfect. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    56 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2001

    We were married at 20/23 and had dd when I was 25. I was going out of my mind with baby fever by that time!  Her brother was born 4 years later when I was 29. I think dh and I really worked through some stuff in those first 5 yeas that made us much better parents and partners. 

    However, in hindsight, I would’ve loved to have more alone time with dh to travel and enjoy each other with “grown-up paychecks” before the kids came along.  But there’s no way you could’ve convinced me of that at the time! 🙂 We had secondary infertility with #2 and because of that I’m glad we didn’t wait any longer because my issues will only get worse with time.  Getting/having the kids was such an emotionally and physically challenging experience and I don’t think I could’ve coped at 22 or 23. But at 32 or 33 I would’ve been much more prepared.

    So for my official answer is that if you and your dh feel secure in your relationship and ready to meet those crazy physical/emotional difficulties DON’T wait for a career to settle down and go for it! 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @guitargirl:  I had them in my teens and early 20s so I definitely wish I had had them later. That being said, 32 is getting up there. I wouldn’t wait too much longer.

    Post # 12
    Member
    828 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I always say that if I knew how much fun and how much easier having a baby is than I thought that it would be, I would’ve have DS 10 years ago – and probably want another, haha..

    Not to say that I didn’t thoroughly enjoy my 20s because I did! But I love being a mom so much and it’s sooo much easier than I had imagined.

    Post # 13
    Member
    7409 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I have 2 daughters that are 8 years apart.  First one I had at 26, second at 34.  I think I perferred it earlier- had all things been equal.  I would have kids between 25 and 32 if I had a choice about it- but life is not always easy like that.  I am much more tired in my 30s than I was in my 20s!

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