(Closed) Do you wish you were a virgin before saying “I Do”?

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Do you wish you had only slept with THE ONE/FI ,regardless if it were before OR after the wedding?
    Yes : (59 votes)
    18 %
    No : (217 votes)
    68 %
    Maybe : (18 votes)
    6 %
    Other... and I will explain below : (26 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5655 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I don’t feel guilty… anymore, but yes… I wish I would’ve understood what gift that was so that I could have given that to my FH…

    Post # 4
    Member
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Honestly, no. I feel like sexuality is so important with someone you love, and I couldn’t imagine marrying someone without knowing what intercourse with them is like.

    I don’t feel that way about other people, just about my personal experience.

    Post # 5
    Member
    668 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I feel pretty guilty of my past, I wish I would have waited.  My current bf did wait until he met me, and that makes me feel even more guilty.  But he forgives me, and asked me to forgive myself and instead be thankful, cause it made me into who I am today.  I still wish I would’ve waited though.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6351 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Yes but I’d have to give back my daughter which is obviously a no-go.

    Post # 8
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Well, my first was Fiance and I was FI’s first…but we certainly didn’t wait for marriage. We’ve been “living in sin” for almost 3 years now, lol. I don’t regret it at all. I also don’t regret the other things I’d done with others before I met Fiance. I’m fairly certain he’d say the same. I guess it’s different since we are each other’s “firsts” but it wasn’t planned at all. It just happened and we ended up engaged almost 4 years later.

    Post # 9
    Member
    7300 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Nope. I don’t view sex as something married couples only have. We are humans. The urge and desire are there. If you aren’t uber religious then sex is sex. Is it better with someone you love and want to spend your life with? It sure is, but I like having the life exp. I like knowing that later in life I won’t have the “I wonder or what if” feelings that some women do when they have only slept with one man. I’m glad I found out what I like and what I don’t like by having multiple partners.

    Mr. Tattoo was my first, but we broke up when we were 21. I have had other partners since him, but at least I can tell people that I lost my virginity to my husband. ^_^

    Post # 11
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    NO! Here’s why:

    I have learnt a LOT about what I want in bed, I learned this through sleeping/ messing around with a few different men. I learnt this throught, great, bad, lame, boring sex with different partners. I could have never learnt this if I was a virgin, and I would have probably always wondered what else is out there, and if this is as good as it gets. Now that I know what’s out there, I don’t wonder.

    I also think that losing one’s virginity isn’t fun- it isn’t romantic at all. It’s gross, blood, pain, tears. If that’s your thing GREAT. Yes, it’s special to lose to that person but it’s awkard as hell, it hurt, and it was messy. My wedding night is gonna be more like “yeah, baby yeah! Oh baby, OH!” I’ll know what I’m doing, I’ll know exactly how to get myself off and him. I do not need to awkwardly figure this out on the wedding night.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    1 posts
    Wannabee

    Sometimes I think it would have been nice.  On the other hand, I grew up in a family where that was expected, so I’ve already felt guilty about not saving it.  Then I met my SO and he has a fairly colorful past, and I can’t help thinking how cheated I’d feel if I’d saved it all of these years and then realized that the guy for me had been maxing out his single days.  So I’ve come to terms with it.

    Post # 13
    Member
    7300 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @vmec: Win!

    Post # 14
    Member
    1664 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I don’t feel guilty.  I don’t believe that virginity is a gift, or that the value of a woman or her relationships should suffer if she has had previous partners.  I think putting virginity on a pedestal as something that can be “taken” or “given away” is unhealthy and very damaging to women (both in terms of their own emotional and psychological health and how women are viewed and treated by society in general).

    I’ll step off my soap box now.  I understand that some people have religious convictions, and I can’t argue with that, but posts like these sadden me.  I’m not saying that your feelings are wrong or invalid, it’s just a shame that people feel this way in the first place. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    447 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    No way.  If anything, I wish I’d slept around a little more.

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