(Closed) Do you wish you would've waited longer for kids?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

You should add a poll – I am also super interested to find out if people wish they had waited (or maybe wish they hadn’t?)

Post # 4
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

I can’t answer for me personally, but my sister got pregnant pretty much immediately after the weding– actually their whole courtship was very quick.  They had known eachother casually for a few years (it’s a small town) ans started dating in Nov ’07.  They got engaged Mar ’08 & married in Sep ’08.  She got pregnant shortly after the wedding, but it was ectopic so it had to be aborted in Dec ’08. She then got pregnant again in Jan ’09 & my nephew was born in Oct ’09.  

It was hard for them around the time my nephew was just over a year– because they reached a point where they were really struggling as a couple, and realized that since their whole relationship had been focused around one big milestone or the next, that they didn’t always communicate well together.  There were a few times when my sister expressed to me that she wished she had waited, but in the end, I don’t think it’s made a lasting difference for them.  They justdid things a bit out or order which made them harder, but they’re happy with their family.  

Post # 5
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have no kids so can’t answer but am curious to see responses because Fiance wants children right away (aka yesterday) and I’d like to wait 6-12 months!

Post # 6
Member
6823 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

God no. I wish had kids earlier (I am currently 38 and had my first at 37)

Post # 7
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had my son at 22, meaning I was pregnant right after I was married for the first time and yes I wish I would have waited!!! 

Post # 8
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsTillerResq:  SO and i were HS sweethearts so we got engaged when i was 19 i got pregnant shortly afterwards and gave birth to our first child when i was 20 and eventhough i love that I’m young and full of energy to keep up with them, i wish i would’ve waited at least another 2 years. Not becuase they were a burden but because he was fresh out of college and had gotten his first engineering job so it was a lot going on at a young age.

Post # 10
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m only now ready for kids so I am very happy I waited. Fiance and I know each other as individuals and as a couple really well, are comfortable with who we are and where our lives are at so it’s a great time to bring a kid into the picture. If I had had a child earlier I wouldn’t be nearly as good a Mum as I imagine I will be now. 

Post # 11
Member
865 posts
Busy bee

I don’t have kids but my dad has two older kids fro his first marriage and always explain that, while he loves them, he wished he would have waited. He had then in his early twenties while he was in the military. Being in the military is hard enough considering he missed a lot of their childhood to working and the kids had to relocate so much. What he said was the biggest factor of why he wished he waited though is because he enjoyed having children in his 40s more. When he had me he was more mature, more patient, more focused and more happy with himself which helped him to be a better father. He said that in his early twenties there were still dreams he wanted to chase, opportunities he could have taken and a lot of growing up and soul searching he didn’t realize he still needed to do. Not to mention he didn’t start making six figure until his 40s and having money to afford all the things you hope to give your children is another plus.

Again, he loves his two older kids greatly, that’s not even a question and he’s always been a great father. Him and I are so much closer though because he enjoyed being a father at an older age. I plan on waiting awhile too just from growing up and seeing this first hand.

Post # 12
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am curious as to the answer as well. Darling Husband and I are both in stable jobs, we own our own home, we have no credit card debt – just one student loan and one car loan – our relationship is stable and happy, and we have a small (5k) emergency fund. I’m 29 and itching to start.

However, hubby thinks that we should save some more money. But, is a year or two going to make a huge difference? Will we regret having a baby now and say “Oh, I wish we waited another year!” or will it be fine? My concern is with potential TTC issues, will we regret WAITING and wish we had started earlier? I guess you never know!

Post # 13
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

@maggierose:  I’m curious as well. sO is 34, I’m 27. Own our home, No big debt. We plan to get engaged soon and married next year. The wedding will eat away at our savings, but otherwise we are both ready! I wonder how necessary a big baby fund is? By the time were married ill be 29 and him 36… is it worth it to wait a few years to save up but risk things with our ages?

Post # 14
Member
1785 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I know 2 women who have timelines, and so far their timelines have worked out for them perfectly.

One met her boyfriend in summer of 2007, engaged 2008, married June 2009, brand new house 2009, pregnant by Aug. 2009, baby May 2010, bought a newer vehicle July 2010, she left a really good job with benefits end of 2010 to be a Stay-At-Home Mom, pregnant again Aug. 2011, baby May 2012, now they are selling their brand new house, not sure why…

One met her boyfriend in Jan. 2009, engaged end of year 2011, bought brand new car Jan. 2012, married Feb. 2012, now pregnant due March 2013.

Meanwhile, my fiance and I have been dating longer than both couples have known eachother. We have also lived together since 2006. We just move a little slower I guess and are in no rush. But we are super curious to see how each of these couples turn out. I have no timeline/deadline on my life long courtship/love life.

Post # 15
Member
1785 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You should put a poll on this question…please.

Post # 16
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I am also curious! I cannot wait to have kids, but at the same time I do want to enjoy time being newlyweds.

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