(Closed) Do You Write Thank You Notes?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
3085 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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BEEelegant :  You have every right to be offended. Seems like manners are swiftly becoming a thing of the past. For my wedding, I sent out an email thank you note to all of my guests the morning after via Paperless Post, and then mailed out physical personalized thank you cards (with some wedding photos) 2 weeks post wedding. This was for all attendees and for all those who could not attend but gave a gift.

But for the record, my aunt went to 3 weddings in the same month as mine. All age groups were between 25-30. I was the only one to send out thank you cards. Shameful.

Post # 33
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Yes! It is polite to send thank you notes. I can’t believe that bride didn’t send one to you! We sent thank you notes to everyone, even those who only gave us a card (there were only 2 of those).

Its also super important, in my opinion, to thank the person for the specific gift. We wrote a cheque to our friends for their wedding and when they finally sent a thank you note (6 months later!!!) all it said was “thank you for spending the day with us.” I was so confused, our cheque had been cashed so I knew she had received it. I would’ve appreciated her thanking us for our gift, not for our presence.

Post # 34
821 posts
Busy bee

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BEEelegant :  We wrote out thank you cards but I’ve been to two weddings since last year and am still waiting for a thank you card…

Post # 36
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Yes I sent thank you cards for all of my shower gifts with a personal note. I intend to do the same for our wedding when the time comes.

It bothers me when people can’t send a thank you. I find it lazy and a bit rude.

Post # 37
1819 posts
Buzzing bee

I did write thank you cards to those who came to my wedding & sent gifts. 

I do not write them for anything else. I do tell the person thank you in person/call them. (Honestly, I am rarely gifted anything at all, other than money from the parents once in awhile)

I think thank you emails should be looked at the same way as thank you cards. The cards themselves are wasteful, the same sentiment can be sent through an email, they can be unique to each person, and designed to compliment the design of the invite if you want. I see it as a win win win, but its not really accepted yet. One day.

What do you all do with the Thank you cards you receive? Keep them in a shoebox to be thrown away in a few decades? As much as all the response of “not understanding” how people don’t do this, I don’t understand why it matters. Wasn’t the reception a thank you? Weren’t you most likely thanked by the Bride & Groom at the wedding? Shouldn’t you give without expecting anything in return? 

I know I say this very often when these thread come up, and I KNOW I am in the minority. I keep at it though. Maybe one day I’ll read something that changes my mind. 

Post # 38
3187 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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BEEelegant :  yep, i always write thank you notes (and I’m from the north). But some people are just rude. 

Post # 39
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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BEEelegant :  I think it was rude of your friend. I was always taught to write thank you notes. Older/retired adults would especially be offended if they’re on a fixed income. 


Post # 40
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I plan to write thank you notes for my wedding but for any other gifts I thank the giver in person if receiving it in person, or send a text/email if posted.

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