(Closed) Do your bridesmaids/MOH have "duties"?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
8574 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m not expecting anything of them other to show up and look pretty. I’ll be purchasing all the dresses, shoes, accessories.

I would be delighted if they decided to join in on the shower/bachlorette [my aunt is planning them], but again, not a requirement.

I’m doing lots of DIY but I’m doing everything myself.

Post # 18
1555 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014


Buy a dress

Wear shoes

Show up early to get ready and take photos day of

Be at the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner day before


Would be nice, and are happening:

Bachelorette party organization

Couples shower organization

not ignore my emails


Post # 19
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

show up, for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, be on time, wear a black dress of their choosing, get their hair and makeup done with me, pose for pretty pictures…


that’s it.  i considered no bridesmaids at all, because i think the idea of using them as minions is silly and I never really fell in love with the whole “wear the exact same thing” idea.  Not that i have a problem with it when others do it, it’s just not “me”.  I was just like, is it necessary?  So I decided against it initially.  But it was just “too out there” to plan a ceremony without a wedding party, and we had people we wanted to honor, so we went back to a wedding party, with our own spin.  🙂


Post # 20
17 posts

I agree with the comment about helping with stress along the way.  You should feel that you are able to consult with your bridesmaids when you need advice or you’re just feeling overwhelmed.  They should also be happy and willing to buy a pretty bridesmaids dress and to help with the shower and bachelorette if you plan to do that. 

Post # 21
2156 posts
Buzzing bee

@MrsWinTraining2014:  I didn’t really assign any duties except for them to find their dresses. They’re all buying different dresses, so they didn’t need me or each other to tag along to shop  for them.

My one Bridesmaid or Best Man is Fiance’s SIL and she’s kind of taken over the bridal shower planning along with my Future Mother-In-Law.

Other than that, I just expect them to help me with things the day-of, and to stand up and look pretty next to me!

Post # 22
8469 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Um.. No. 

I was getting married, not running a restaurant. 

Post # 23
11517 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MrsWinTraining2014:  My BMs have to show up and look pretty and be reasonably sober until after dinner. 

I’ve asked them for suggestions on things but they aren’t required to do anything.  If they lived near by I’d ask them to come dress shopping with me (and I know they wish they could), but they don’t.  1 of them did go try on some Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses for me as well to help make the final decision.

Post # 25
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I have asked that they purchase their dress & wear nude shoes (style of their choosing), attend rehearsal, and get ready with me day of the wedding. Also, they know they will be in photos w/me and the bridal party.

Things I did not “require” – My mom is planning my shower and they are helping her. My girls are also kind enough to plan a bachelorette for me. I’m not asking them to get their hair/make-up/nails done, although I think some of them will choose to do so.

Post # 26
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MrsWinTraining2014:  I expected them to buy their dress, attend rehearsal, and show up on time for the wedding. That’s it.

Post # 27
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
@nadnuk:  Your list is pretty much the same as mine.  I think that they are pretty reasonable. 

I do think that asking if your girls will help with a bachelorett party and/or shower is something that you should do if you would like one.  But after the request is made, I stayed hands off. 

Post # 28
1674 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago

Yep I expect the following from them:

1. Buy their dresses
2. Show up on time the morning of the wedding.
3. Do their hair and make up for the wedding (of if they’d like, pay to have it done…not necessary though!)
4. Be with me the day before the wedding to help set things up, get mani/pedis and just make sure everything is good for the wedding day.
5. Attend the rehearsal dinner.
6. Plan my bachelorette party and bridal shower.
7. Be there for me when I need help wtih things or for advice.  Not expected to drop whatever they are doing to be by my side, but to be availble to help out!

Post # 29
13901 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I expected them to show up the day of the wedding, get ready with me, be in photos, then have fun at the reception.  There were no duties asked of them.

Post # 30
1197 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Find and purchase their attire

Stand by me and have pictures taken on my wedding day

Be their awesome, fun selves

Tell me if I’m being an idiot

One of my bridesmaids might be performing our first dance song for us, if I can get Fiance on board.  I’ll also ask one to give a toast. 

Post # 31
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@MrsWinTraining2014:  I just want my girls to buy the dress, and show up that day. I do want them to get ready with me. And smile pretty for the camera!

Most of my girls are long distance, so it’s tricky to do things together anyway. But one of my Bridesmaid or Best Man is local to me, and she’s like DAMNIT WOMEN TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! lol

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