(Closed) Do your bridesmaids/MOH have "duties"?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 47
1197 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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@JenGirl:  totally!!  it definitely helps to have my girls remind me that the perfect chairs/wedding favors/linens are far from being that important!

Post # 48
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I asked my BFF to spend the night with me beforehand, but it wasn’t required. Of course she did! 🙂

The day of, I asked her to start our songs on our iPod for our processional, help make sure my grandparents knew where they were supposed to sit, get to the ceremony site like 15 minutes before me so that someone was there when the rental people were there, and… I know there was 1 more thing, but I can’t remember what it was. But I know I asked her to help me with 4 tasks.

She did all that and more! DH and I were planning on cleaning/straightening up after we did pictures, but she and her SO did all of that for us while we were taking pictures. They actually did a bunch of cleaning stuff that the venue and rental people would have done, lol, but it was SO nice of them! Once we were done with pictures, we got to go straight to dinner instead of having to clean up.

I also asked her to come to dinner with us the night before, but she actually said no, lol. She didn’t want to drive across town.

I also didn’t ask her to buy a dress, as it was a small wedding and we didn’t have an official wedding party. And I invited her to get mani-pedis with us, which she did. I paid.

Post # 49
1140 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I would expect nothing from my bridesmaids other than to be there for me on my big day.  I don’t care if their hair isn’t perfect, if they do their own make up, if they wear heels or flats.  I would just want my girls to be happy to spend the one of the most important days of my life with me. 

It’s one of the few things I will miss since I am eloping. 


Post # 50
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I “made” mine show up and be pretty. And I paid for half of the pretty- hair and makeup for both (which was more than their dress, which we all agreed on.) They chose their own shoes/jewelry. They volunteered to plan the shower/bachelorette party. And I “expected” them to tell me when to chill out-they were matrons of honor, so they were great sounding boards! 🙂

Post # 51
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@MrsWinTraining2014:  I haven’t even asked my Bridal Party yet, but I was “MOH” (sorta) for my friend last year. She had a tiny ceremony (immediate families & me) and a few months later a larger reception. As a bridesmaid I was expected to:

  1. Cohost a shower with her cousins including DIY invitations, decor, buying stuff for the activity station, games, prizes, food, drinks etc.
  2. Spend the wedding weekend with the bride & family which meant a 2 night stay in a hotel.
  3. Help the bride get ready in the morning including help her do her hair and makeup.
  4. Read during the ceremony & take care of the rings (I was the only “bridal party” person at the actual ceremony)
  5. Help with DIY decor. For me this included sewing 100 yards of bunting and sewing placemat things for under the centerpieces and on the desserts table.
  6. Help with desserts table. My contribution was chocolate truffles. Other maids made or bought baked goods.
  7. Arrive 2 hours early to reception to help set up. This was not enough time.
  8. Play hostess while guests arrived because I was the only “bridesmaid” that arrived dressed for the wedding and so everyone else was getting dressed after setting up.
  9. Help clean up after the wedding.
  10. Assist bride in selling her used wedding stuff.

I know everyone on the Bee says “They just have to show up!” but I think that’s bull. You ask your best friends to be in your bridal party and your best friends are the people who help you when you’re stressed out. I assume the bride above- who will be my MOH- will throw me a party. I also assume if I need help with DIY shit she will help. I also assume she will do whatever I need done day-of. Not because she is my Maid/Matron of Honor, but because she is my best friend. 


Post # 53
13532 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I expected absolutely nothing but getting dressed, showing up for rehearsal and being supportive on the wedding day itself.

Post # 54
1915 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Buy the dress, some shoes, show up the day of the wedding.

I did feel bad that most of my bridesmaids did not help my Maid/Matron of Honor with the shower/bachelorette at all, so I ended up helping her with it instead.

They were spread all over the country, so I didn’t really have any other expectations of them.

Post # 55
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MrsWinTraining2014:  I’m not really requiring or requesting their help. My Maid/Matron of Honor has come with me to a few appointments like cake, dress, and when I was ordering STDs. I wouldn’t have been horrifically offended if she had been unable to make any of those appointments though. I think FI’s mom might be organizing my shower, but I don’t know. I really just expect them to show up, wear their less than $200 dresses, and smile for the pictures. I think one of my bridesmaids may have actually forgotten that she’s a bridesmaid… I should remind her. 

Post # 56
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Buy the dress, wear some shoes (I didn’t care what), and have fun with me on the wedding day.  

I was lucky enough to have 2 of my bridesmaids go dress shopping with me but that certainly wasn’t a requirement, it was a pleasant surprise.  

About the events, my best friend couldn’t come to my bachelorette party because it was travel and she was heavily pregnant (due that week), and she and 3 others couldn’t come to my shower, which was no biggie.  They were there in spirit. 

Post # 57
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@MrsWinTraining2014:  I expect them to look presentable the day of, wear their dresses for the night, and make sure I/they get to everything on time the day of. Oh, and make sure I stay sane!

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